Sunlight on a Shadow
by xIndigo.Sunsetx
Summary: remake of DIGGING UP SHADOWS.Dusty Winston is kidnapped from New York and brought to Tulsa,a town where nothing except people change.Can she face her wrong past? Will she accept her faults? The tension is high in the finale of Dusty Winston's life story.
1. Speak of the Devil

In the perfect dim lighting of the living room, I smiled down at the face of an angel

In the perfect dim lighting of the living room, I smiled down at the face of an angel. Her light, bubbly brown eyes stared into mine as I twined my fingers in her halo of chocolate hair. She smiled back at me, and sighed.

"Ponyboy, you're so warm." She leaned into my chest and closed her eyes.

"You're not so cold yourself." I chuckled. I glimpsed down at her, and almost screamed in surprise and horror. Instead of brown eyes, cold blue irises stared up at me accusingly. Pitch black hair sprouted out of her head like Medusa as I stiffened my body and pulled away. I diverted my eyes from the image of Dusty Winston with disgust and shame.

"Pony, what's wrong?" I forced a smile and cuddled back up to my girlfriend of one year and seven months.

"Nothing. Just having a day nightmare." It seemed like these "day nightmares" where accruing more and more. They started when two of my best friends died, and I saw them standing on the street corner or taking a drag in the park. But they receded after six months. Then _she_ came back. The dreams kept pushing me towards her, haunting me to give Dusty Winston a second chance. In the end I gave in, allowing Dusty back into my life. But then she did the inconceivable, the unforgivable. She stole my virginity.

When she left (for the second time), the day nightmares come back. Johnny and Dally no longer haunted me, but Dusty. I can't tell you how many times I would just stand in the hall, or stare at the T.V., and swear I saw her. But those ended like the others, and no longer bothered me after eight months. Now they where back.

"Oh, don't worry. I promise I'll protect you from the scary monster."

"I doubt it." I mumbled under my breath. The thought of Dusty and Cathy going into mortal combat was enough to make my stomach sick. It was obvious who would walk away.

"I think I could handle it." Cathy pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't you have faith in me?" Again, I forced a smile.

"I have plenty of faith in you, Cathy. I always will." I kissed her, softly pressing my lips against hers. She pressed back lightly, carefully; something that Dusty would never do. "Damn it!" I bolted up right and put my face in my hands, shaking furiously.

"Ponyboy. What on Earth is wrong with you?!" I peeked through my fingers to see a furious girlfriend, standing up and headed for the door.

"Wait, Cathy! I'm sorry. It's just that the day nightmare got to me." She whirled around, tears brimming her eyes.

"How could something get to you like that?! Tell me, Ponyboy Curtis, or I swear I will leave now!" I grabbed her shoulders and sat her down on the couch, slowly stroking her hair.

"I saw my… my ex-girlfriend." I decided that was the best way to describe Dusty, even though it was much more than that. Cathy scrunched up her face and frowned.

"Is she that scary?" Cathy asked sarcastically. I stared at her with a dead expression.

"Yes. Does the name Dallas Winston ring a bell?" I was relieved to see a flicker of fear in her eyes.

"He's the hood that ran with the Shephard gang." She said breathlessly. I nodded.

"Well, she was his sister. He taught her everything he knew. He turned her into a lethal weapon." Then, quietly, I added, "Her name was Dusty."

"I never heard of her. You didn't mention her in that paper you wrote." I sighed and collapsed next to Cathy on the couch.

"No body likes to talk about her. She left a mark on everybody she knew and none of them good. I never wrote her into the _Outsiders_ because I didn't want to think about the pain she gave me." I didn't realize that my hands where trembling until Cathy seized them.

"If she ever comes back, I'll march up to her and tell her you're mine and she can't have you." I grabbed her wrist into mine and shook her.

"No! Don't you ever talk to her! Weren't you listening to me when I told you she was lethal?"

"She can't be that bad, Ponyboy."

"Get her into a temper and she can. Did you know she beat Curly Shepard in a fight? And that was three years ago." Cathy stroked my face to calm it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"No. It's my fault. I shouldn't of let it get to me like it did." We huddled closer to each other, Cathy shivering. I hopped that I didn't scare her. We both jumped when the door slammed open.

"Hey Ponyboy! Hope I didn't interrupt any good fortune." I threw my notebook at a greaser with rusty hair.

"Shut up, Two-Bit. Don't you have your own house to go to?" At age twenty one, Two-Bit Matthews still crashed the Curtis house. It annoyed me slightly that he didn't make something out of himself.

"Nope, the beer's gone. So where are twiddle dumb and twiddle dumber?" I rolled at the nicknames my friend gave to my brother, Sodapop, and his friend Steve.

"They went to the nightly double. I have no idea what's taking them so long." A crack of thunder made Cathy jump and me twitch. "That might be it. Soda hates driving in storms." Another crack of thunder went off, and the front door blew open.

"Come on, get in."

"Let go of me, asshole!" I froze. Pure terror seized my veins as a screamed rose to my throat. I gulped it down.

"Just get inside the house."

'Make me." A shiver ran down my spine at the venom in the familiar voice. Two seconds later, I herd a scream and a stream of curses as Soda walked in, a trouble expression on his face. Steve came in next, with a bulky object slung over his shoulder. He dropped it to the floor with a thud. It shot up, and glared around the room with piercing blue eyes.

"Hey, everybody! Look whose back." Dusty Winston glared at Soda in a way I've never seen her glare at him.

"I'm not back for you."

"I don't give a shit. Don't you ever do that again!" I thought I couldn't be more surprised, but the fierce tone in Steve's voice left me shocked.

"I can do whatever I want. Now if you don't mind, I have room reservations." She tried to shoulder past the two men, but they wouldn't grant entry.

"You are_ not_ going to Buck Merrill's place." She looked at them with innocent blue eyes that I knew where bluffing.

"Who said anything about Merrill's place? I'm simply going to stay with a family friend." Steve glared at her.

"Who are these friends?" Dusty's innocent eyes broke as fury entered.

"Look, it's none of your business. Who are you any way, to tell me where I can and can not go?" Soda took a step forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, something that only he would dare to do.

"We're your friends. And friends don't send friends into a house full of mayhem." Dusty sighed and calmed dawn a bit.

"Soda, I've lived in mayhem my whole life."

"Can you please just stay? For one night?"

"Tim will look for me. I'm suppose to crash at his house."

"No! There is no way you're staying with Shepard." Steve motioned to the beginning of a white line to prove his point.

"Where do you think I'll sleep?" Dusty shot.

"In Pony and Soda's room." Steve answered smoothly. For the first time since Dusty walked…or got carried into the house, I found my voice.

"No!"

"No!" I glanced over at Dusty, who was glaring at me menacingly. I didn't know what gave her a right to look at me like that, so I glared back at her with the same hostility.

"Fine then. The couch." Dusty shifted her glare from me to Steve.

"Don't you need to sleep there?"

"We'll share." Dusty groaned and started walking backward towards the second door. Steve grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his chest. "I don't care how much you complain, you're not leaving." Against Steve's chest, Dusty crumpled. She suddenly looked so tired, so weak. It scared me to see her like that, like it scared to see a tall, powerful building crumple suddenly.

"Fine. But don't blame me when Shepard comes hunting for you." Steve tried to pick her up, but Dusty opened one eye and shot him a warning glare that would make a lion cower. Instead he practically dragged her to the couch, and shot Cathy and me a menacing glare.

"Scat." I grabbed my girlfriend's wrist and lead her to the door, not looking back.

"I think you better leave." Cathy nodded with concern.

"Will you be all right?"

"Don't worry about me. Just get home safe." I kissed the top of her head and pushed her out the door, quickly slamming it. I whirled around, and forced Soda into the kitchen.

"What the hell was that?!" I asked in an angry whisper. Soda looked down at me with sad eyes.

"You didn't think I would let her stay with the Shepards, did you?"

"She seemed more than happy to." Soda suddenly glared down at me, something he rarely did.

"Ponyboy, I love Dusty as if she where my own sister. If anything happened to her, I would kill the guy who hurt her. I honestly would." There was a hint of a threat in his voice, and I dropped my jaw.

"You can't be serious." I whispered. Soda stared at me with neutral eyes.

"I would do the same for you too, Ponyboy." Soda left the kitchen briskly, leaving me as confused as ever. I pushed the argument to the back of my mind and stepped out of the kitchen. Two-Bit was positioned in front of the T.V. with a beer. Steve was discarding his shirt on the floor as Dusty scowled down at the floor. Her face had more angles since the last time I saw her, and her midnight hair touched her obvious biceps.

"Good night." I said to no one in particular. But Dusty shot her eyes on me and held a fiery stare.

"Good night." The amount of venom that leaked from her words was indescribable. I flinched as if I where bit by a snake and hurried to my room. Before I went inside, I couldn't help but glance back. Dusty was laying down now, Steve's arms secured around her so she didn't fall off. I was almost touched by how delicate and innocent she looked in sleep. It almost made me want to walk back, and stroke a dark curl out of her face.

The innocence was lost, and I was staring into the eyes of the devil as Dusty popped hers open; glaring at my invading eyes. I stumbled into my room, shaking from head to foot.

For the first time in two years, I felt pure terror and hate rock me when I thought of those hostel blue eyes.


	2. RustyJames

I stood in the doorway, silently observing the two lumps that huddled close in the bed

I stood in the doorway, silently observing the two lumps that huddled close in the bed. Two things ran through my mind. One: I had to get away from the house right then if I didn't want Tim Shepard to kill me and to kill Soda and Steve. Two: What the hell was I doing still standing there?

I shook my head viciously, trying to clear it so I could think straight. I needed to get far away, as far away as possible from the Curtis house. No way would I run back to New York; Tim would just cruise up and snatch me back like he did two days ago. Really, Shepard's joint was the best place to lay low. A little part of me groaned inwardly at the thought of facing Tim. He would be furious that I never came home from the double. But then again, I could just remind him that I was seventeen; that I could do what ever the hell I wanted to do. I sighed and backed away from the room, snapping my eyes away from the scene and headed for the front door. It would have been a clean get away too, if one of the kidnappers weren't standing in my way with arms crossed around his chest.

"Where are you going?"

"Move it. Randle." I didn't try to duck under his arm; I knew that didn't work from last night. Instead I moved into a defensive stance and tensed.

"Dusty, you can't just take off…"

"I'm not going any where, Steve. Not unless I want my head hanging from Shepard's wall. And you can't tell me what to do. I'm seventeen." He calmed down a little bit, and got a thoughtful expression in his face.

"Shit, you are seventeen, aren't you?" I glared harder at him when I noticed his eyes trailing my up and down.

"Do I look like a freak show to you? Now get out of my way before Shepard bust my head in." Steve turned a red.

"I…I wasn't looking, I mean…" I stalked up to him and shoved him aside.

"Nice one." I couldn't help but snicker as I hopped down the steps and onto the dew-wet grass. I automatically broke into a sprint. Usually I would enjoy the crisp air against my cheeks, but a tug at my chest kept me from smiling. Suddenly, I got a strong urge to turn back, and to run back into the warm house where I knew I had friends. I heaved a painful sigh, and forced my feet to move. I fought the images of my old friends from my find, squinting and shaking them away. It wasn't until a face of Steve disappeared that I heard the purr of a car creeping up. I whirled around and reached for my old switchblade, a wild urge to slice creeping into my veins.

"Dusty Winston, I'll give you three seconds to get into this car!" I was partially relieved, but annoyed that Tim Shepard was leaning out his car window and glaring at me menacingly. Either way, I obeyed and slid into the back seat of the car. "Where the hell have you been?!"

"I got kidnapped Tim. For the second time in my life and in a month." My brother figure scowled and held his glare.

"Oh, really? And who where your kidnappers?"

"I'm not telling you! Do I look like an idiot?" Tim was fuming. I handed him a cigarette that would hopefully cool him down.

"Come on, Winston. Tell me who you where with." I didn't realize that Curly was in the car until he snickered next to me, his dark eyes smirking at me with an evil only he could accomplish.

"Take a whack at it, Tim." Curly said enthusiastically. My elbow slammed into his ribs as soon as the words came out of his mouth. He grabbed for my neck, but missed as I leaned back and used my knees to block his arms.

"Damn it, you two! If you don't stop your bickering..." Curly shot up and scooted back to his seat. I sat up more slowly, not knowing if a surprise attack was being planned. "Dusty, will you tell me if I guess?"

"Nope." I said simply, eying a red light up ahead. I casually moved my hand over to the door. The car lurched to the stop, and I was flinging the door open and running.

"Damn it, Dusty! Get your ass back here!" I ignored Tim's curses and turned he corner, not daring to look behind me. After five more turns, I thought my lungs where going to burst. Finally, my feet stopped, and I was heaving off the side of a building. After I caught my breath, I sat up and looked around. It was only then that I realized I had no idea where I was. The only building with a name on it was sitting across the street from me, and looked run down. It was called Benny's.

What the hell, I thought. Old and run down is my kind of joint. I went across the street and slammed the door open to the joint, quickly scanning the scene. The kids looked like they where in junior high, and where huddled around the pool table. They all looked at me with wide eyes, but started to smirk as I walked over to the bar. They started to get back to their game, but one held his gaze on mine. He had brown hair that looked like it was streaked with rust, and his intense eyes where a sharp grey that made me shift uneasily in my seat. I pretended not to notice when he sauntered over to me.

"Hey babe. Never seen a hot thing like you prowl in before." I snorted and looked at the kid. There was no way he was serious.

"Don't you have a game to get back to, kiddie?" I ordered a beer, and didn't get carded. I always wondered if it was because I looked old or if it was the wild look in my eyes.

"Not at all, babe." His eyes wondered down from my face, and a flame of anger lit in me. "Nice thighs you got there." The anger was a wild fire now, and it was ranging when I hopped off the stool and shoved the kid into the counter.

"You don't want to mess with me, kiddie." He smiled and laughed at his friends.

"Oh, feisty aren't we? What can you do to me babe?" I flicked my blade out in a smooth motion, and held it up to his eye.

"Lots of things. Lots of things that would be fun for me and very, very painful for you." His smile finally faded as his grey eyes fell on the blade.

"Jeez, just take it easy!" He held his hands up in defense, and I loosened my grip a little.

"I never take it easy on anyone. But since you're just a kid, I think I'll make an exception." I threw him onto the next stool and flicked my blade back into my pocket. The bartender had started to make his way over, but stopped when I put the knife away. He still watched me out of the corner of his eye, though.

"I'm not a kid. I'm fourteen." I snorted and glared at the fourteen year old.

"Then start acting like it. Get a grip." I chugged down the beer and whipped it from my lips. When I turned my head, the kid was still there. "What the hell do you want?"

"Nothing. You just… just look familiar." And with that, he turned back to his game.

"Another beer?" I nodded towards the bartender, but held my gaze at the boy.

"Who's the kid?"

"Ah, Rusty-James. Gonna get himself sliced up one day." I smiled crookedly.

"What's his story?" The bartender shrugged.

"Nothing, really. He has a brother that takes off a lot. In fact, he left two weeks ago. Now there's a one of a kind. He's legendary around here. The Motorcycle Boy, ever heard of him?" I dropped my beer bottle and gaped at the kid in shock. _This_ was the Motorcycle Boy's brother? The little punk that tried to pick me up was the charming motorcycle rider's_ brother_?

"What the hell do you want?" Rusty-James was staring at me dead on, using the words I used on him only a moment ago. His glare sliced into me, as if his steely eyes where actual knives.

"You…you kind of look like your brother." I managed to sputter out. With a snap, the kid lost his hostel stare and was containing a smile.

"Really? You really think so?" I slid off the barstool. All eyes where on me when I stood in front of me when I stood in front of Rusty-James and looked him up and down.

"A little. You have the same hair, and kind of the same eyes." He beamed and lifted his head proudly to his friends, who where eyeing my like a piece of candy that they couldn't have.

"So, how do you know the Motorcycle Boy?" A guy leaning on a pool stick with dark hair shot the question at me. I laughed and scratched the back of my head, remembering my first run-in with the guy I hadn't seen in two years.

"Friends, I guess. The first time I meet him was at a party, and boy was I screwed up." The kids automatically leaned in for story time. I smiled wickedly and made myself comfy on the pool table. "I just got out of a fight with a kid that wanted more than just popcorn and drinks." I actually shuddered at the memory of Curly pinning my against the wall, forcing his lips against mine. "And I just got onto my first fight with a friend, and was in one shitty mood. He offered me a drink at the party…"

"Yeah, I think we all know where it went from there." The dark headed kid mumbled. I shot him a death glare just as Rusty-James did.

"Cool it, Smokey."

"Watch your mouth, kid. I don't sleep around." He made a face, but kept his trap shut.

"Anyway, I didn't really talk to him the first time I saw him. Some…business got in the way." I image of Johnny and Ponyboy shivering in the rain slammed into my brain. "I didn't talk to him 'till about three nights later. Then, I actually tried to fight him." The kids laughed at that, and I started to chuckle along. "But he turned out to be an okay guy. Always showed up at the right time." He did. The Motorcycle Boy seemed to pop up when I needed him the most.

"Rusty-James!" We all turned when a short black kid walked up to the pool table. "Biff Woodcock's looking for you, Rusty-James."

"I ain't hidin'." He replied casually.

"He says he's going to kill you." I raised my eyebrows at Rusty-James, who only shrugged.

"Sayin' ain't doin'." I must admit, I was rather impressed.

"Something you said to Anita at school." I narrowed my eyes at Rusty-James. If there was one thing I couldn't stand, it was guys talking disgusting trash to girls.

"Shoot, I didn't say nothin' but the truth. I said she was a filthy whore for sleeping with the seniors, even if she did have big tits." I glowered at Rusty-James, then cuffed him outside the head.

"I hope this Biff guy does kill you." I growled. Smokey rose and snuck up behind me.

"It's the truth though." I shot him another glare, and made my way back over to the bar. Rusty-James followed and got chocolate milk.

"So what's he doing about it? Killin' me, I mean?" Rusty-James stood and moved over to a booth, and all the kids followed. I didn't make an effort to move. He looked slightly annoyed, as if he expected me to act like a dog too.

"I guess he's coming alone, huh?"

"I wouldn't count on it." The Smokey kid raised his hand, as if volunteering for the army.

"If he's bringing friends, then I' bringing friends." I suddenly jumped up and ran to the booth.

"A fight? There's going to be a fight?" Rusty-James waved his hand and smiled cockily.

"Don't worry babe, no one's going to get hurt."

"Fisrt of all, drop the name babe, it's Dusty. Second of all, I don't care who or what gets hurt, I just want to see a damn fight." The kid turned red, and turned away to hide his embarrassment.

"Yeah, but you know how that's gonna turn out. Everybody'll end up gettin' into it. You bring people, he brings people…" I studied the scrawny blond hid that was seated to the left of Rusty-James. He looked young, and a little limp to be hanging around with the badass hoods sitting around him.

"You think I'm going to the empty lot by myself, you're nuts."

"But…"

"Lookit, me an' Biff'll settle this thing ourselves. You guys'll just be an audience, huh? Ain't nothin' wrong with an audience."

"You know it ain't gonna end up like that." I smiled to myself as I marveled at the kid's level of paranoia. The thought of a gang war breaking out in this day and age almost made me laugh. "Dammit, Rusty-James, we haven't had any trouble like that for a long time now." I shook my head to contain my laughter, and looked at Rusty-James to see how he was taking it.

"You don't have to be there." He said coolly. I smiled wider at the exact words I would of used.

"You know I'm gonna be there." The blond kid shot back. "But you know what the motorcycle boy said about gang…"

"He ain't here. He ain't been here for two weeks. So don't go tellin' me about the Motorcycle Boy." My smile faded as Rusty-James spat the words out. I was surprised at how hostel he became. Another guy, sitting across from the angry kid, started whining about gangs being allies and shit. I snorted at this, and some eyes turned to me.

"Don't believe in allies." I explained simply, tracing my index finger across the white scar Curly Shepard gave to me three years back.

"How'd that happen?" The same guy asked. I shrugged and sighed.

"Long story."

"We got time." I was caught off guard at Smokey's voice. I shrugged again.

"All right. Ever heard of the Shepard gang?"

"Yeah, they jumped us two years back."

"No, those where the Tigers. The Shepards jumped us three years back. When Roy stole Kurk's gal?"

"No, it was because Roy cut up Wayne."

"Do you want to hear the damn story or not?!" The kids all shut up and stared at me with wide eyes.

"So the Shepard gang and my brother's gang where in kind of an alliance. I was going out with the leader's brother."

"Curly Shepard? You know Curly Shepard?" I smiled and tapped my scar.

"Yep. He gave me this cut. Wasn't to pleased when he found out he couldn't have all of me." I pulled my shirt a little lower to show more of the scar.

"Lordy, I've never seen something like that on a chick."

"Yeah, when the Motorcycle Buy get's back, he's not going to be happy…" A loud crack rang through out the joint as Rusty-James brought his fist down on the table. His crazed gray eyes darted from face to face.

"The Motorcycle Boy ain't back. I don't know when he's coming back, or if he's coming back. Si of you wanna wait around the rest of your life to see what he says, okay. But I'm gonna stomp Biff Woodcock's guts tonight, and I think I oughta have some friends there." I glanced at the kid, wondering if I should be worried.

"Man, don't get to eager to get your head banged in." I stood and went over to the bar, paying my tab.

"You're not leavin', are you?" Rusty-James looked at me with wide eyes.

"Maybe." He frowned, and almost glared at me.

"Will you come tonight?"

"Maybe." Now he was glaring. "I have to check with my parole officer." Again, the eye got big. "Meaning Shepard?"

"I thought you got rid of him?" I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Tim Shepard, not Curly. He fells the need to play big brother."

"And what happened to your brother?" I went stiff, and glared long an hard at Smokey. He twitched slightly, but still held his curious gaze.

"He was shot." God, how long has it been since I said those words? Not since the day of the funeral, when I told my old buddy Ken that Dally was dead. Now I was saying them again. I sprinted for the door, not caring if the kids where calling out to me. I couldn't think of Dally; I could never ever think of Dally. I had been haunted by him long enough to have my fair share of memories. In truth, I've haven't seen or heard him since that afternoon in the parking lot.

So now I was just running, running from the world, running from memories, and running from the truth. Just like him.


	3. The Truth About Boys

I ran all the way to the bus station, and was lightly painting as I walked in

I ran all the way to the bus station, and was lightly painting as I walked in. The clerk eyed me suspiciously, but went back to popping her gum and reading her magazine.

"Have a phone?" I demanded. The strawberry blond girl narrowed her eyes and set down her magazine.

"Yeah, It's in the back." I started to move towards the door behind the desk, but the broad wouldn't move.

"Can I use it?" I asked irritably. The clerk continued to glare at me, but opened the door. My hands grabbed the phone, and dialed the Shepard house.

"Hello?"

"Angela? It's Dusty." I heard the girl on the other line inhale sharply. I didn't blame her; the last time I really talked to her was when I beat the shit out of her.

"What do you want?" She snapped.

"Is Tim home?"

"No." I heard yelling in the background, and a deep male voice curse through the other line. There was a crinkling sound, then a voice very different from Angela's started jabbering.

"Winston, you have no idea how much shit you're in with me."

"Sorry, Tim. But you really pissed me off." He started cursing a mile a minute, but calmed down when I started cussing right back at him.

"All right, smart ass. Where the hell are you?" I looked at the sign hanging out side the station.

"Ugh, the Suburb bus station?"

"Fine. I'll come and get you." I hung up the phone, and walked out of the room. From the way the clerk was leaning a certain way, I would tell she had been ease dropping. I scowled and stepped outside, waiting for what felt like forever for Tim to show up. Finally, a rusty old Cadillac cruised up.

"Hope in." Tim opened the passenger door, which I slid easily into. "So did you enjoy your little tour of the suburbs?" I rolled my eyes and glared at the Shepard boy.

"I wouldn't have to, if you hadn't drove me here. What the hell where you doing on this side of town anyway?" He shrugged, and drove onto the highway.

"Just looking for an old enemy, making sure he hasn't come back." I shook my head and gazed at Tim with sad eyes.

"Shepard, the gangs are dead. You don't have to worry about the Motorcycle Boy." Tim turned his head sharply.

"Now what gave you the idea that I was after that punk?" I shrugged and leaned back in my seat.

"I hung out with his little brother today." He glared at me, but didn't say anything else on the matter. Instead, we drove in silence until Buck's place came into sight. Then, I stretched out like a cat, making a silent yawn.

"Don't stretch out. There isn't enough room." I grinned wickedly over at Tim, then stretched further.

"Sure there is." He growled, then pushed my stomach down with crushing force. I grimaced at the dull thud his fist left when he turned back to the wheel. "God, Tim! Why the hell did you do that?" I lifted my shirt to se if there were any bruises.

"You can give yourself a check up later. Right now I'm driving and don't want any distractions." I leaned up against my friend and rested my chin on his shoulder; just to piss him off.

"I'm a distraction?"

"Yes." He hissed, shrugging his shoulders to get my chin off. I laughed and sat back in my seat, chuckling silently to myself. We reached the Shepard house about two minutes later, and Tim ran inside. I quickly followed, and breathed in the wonderful sent of cigarette smoke and booze. Tim darted down the hallway and turned into a room, leaving my standing in the middle of a large open space; containing a couch and table. A large lump was slouched over the couch, and whisky bottle in it's hand. I smiled wickedly, and ran over to the sleeping Curly.

"Wake up, you son of a bitch!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Curly woke with a start, thrashing from the weight on top of him.

"Ow! Damn it, when the hell did you get here?!" I laughed and pinned his arms down, still sitting on his stomach.

"Miss me, baby Shepard?" Curly growled and slugged the air aimlessly.

"Sure as hell I do. I miss beating the tar out of you." I chuckled and pressed harder on his arms as Curly started to buck, trying to get me off.

"The last time you beat the tar out of me was three years ago. You must be aching." Curly glared at me, but grinned suggestively at the memory of him pinning me down in the dark ally of the movie house.

"You bet, baby." I scowled, and slightly panicked as I tried to wiggle away from Curly. I didn't remember him being as strong as he was. When that didn't work, I started bucking like he had done only moments before. The younger Shepard boy chuckled in my ear. "Eager, aren't we?" I hissed as his hands moved down to my hips.

"If you touch me, I swear you'll die."

"I'm touching you now, bitch."

"Go down an inch more, and I'll fucking scream my lungs out."

"Like this?" Curly's rough hand was on my zipper in a second, jerking it down. I immediately hurled a scream from my lungs, filling the room with a painful echo. Tim came running out of the bathroom, his dark eyes wild and dangerous.

"What the hell is going on?!" He glared down at Curly, who flinched just from the threat in his brother's eyes. I gritted my teeth, and pushed Curly off of me with all the strength I had.

"Oh nothing really. Just attempted rape!" My voice came out shaky, something that didn't happen very often. I stood up, and zipped my jeans back up. Without thinking twice, I kicked the lump on the floor, nice and hard in the ribs. Curly gasped, and curled into a tighter ball. I kicked him again. "You are in deep shit with me, Shepard! I promise your blood will be on my hands before tonight's over." Curly chuckled, but stopped and winched.

"Like Tim would let you get away with that." His words came out jagged, and in a harsh whisper.

"You bet hell I would. What the fuck is your problem, Curly? Do you know how many boys got her back?"

"I don't care." He replied harshly. I snorted and started walking towards the door.

"I bet you will when there's a knife to your throat."

"And where the hell are you going? You just got here." Tim moved swiftly to my side and leaned against the door frame.

"I'm going to a place where I don't have to worry about horny, idiotic boys." Tim laughed.

"All boys are horny, honey. Even the Curtis gang gets an urge." The idea hit me hard. The only Curtis member that seemed even remotely turned on by me was Ponyboy, and he had his little whore to satisfy himself with. The other members showed no feeling more than brotherly affection.

"I've never noticed it." I said hotly.

"You don't know how to look for the signs, babe. Watch them cross their legs." He laughed again as color crept into my cheeks. I glared at Tim and started to back up.

"Well, I don't give a shit if they want to screw me, as long as they don't. And when did you start calling me pet names?" Tim smirked and circled and arm around my waist.

"Since you became grown-up…and sexy." I gagged and pushed his arm away.

"Lordy, Tim! That's disgusting!"

"Why?" He growled, this time wrapping both arms around my torso. I sighed and tried to unlock Tim's fingers, which was hopeless.

"Would you say I was sexy if Dally was here?" Tim frowned.

"No, but Dally isn't here."

"How do you know?" Tim went rigid, and tightened his arms.

"Because he's dead, Dusty." I laughed without humor, and gently started to push Tim's biceps away.

"Yeah, he's dead. But he still can see you Tim; and hear you too. I don't think he's happy right now." I moved my hands to Tim's chest, and he raised his eyebrows. I gave him a warning glance and pushed on the black fabric. He sighed, and dropped his arms.

"Well, then I won't call you sexy. Go on to your horny friends." I felt slightly guilty as I heard venom slip through Tim's words. I stood on my toes and pecked his cheek.

"Don't be jealous." I took off before Tim could grab me again, taking off to the Curtis house. I started to worry good deal about giving Tim the peck, hopping it wasn't something a tease would do. I decided it wasn't; that a tease would just shove her tongue down the guy's throat.

The kiss was quickly forgotten as I swung the screen door at the back of the house open, looking left and right for any signs of life. I heard the TV, but nothing else. I started walking down the hall way slowly, soaking the sight of the house in me mind, It looked the same as it had last night, and three years ago. Nothing about that damn house would change.

"Soda, where are my jeans?" I heard a gruff voice holler from the door right in front of me.

"On Venus, you idiot. Where do you think they are?" I chuckled silently at Soda's rude remark. I would have to bring it up later. But right now, I had to get the hell away from the bathroom door. Just as I started to inch towards the kitchen, the bathroom door swung open.

"Damn it, boy! You better tell me where my pants are or I'll come after you butt naked!" Steve stepped from the bathroom, with only a flimsy towel clad around his waist. Soda came skidding around the corner, the familiar wild look in his eyes as he dangled the dark washed jeans like a bull fighter. But his smile almost dropped when his eyes wondered past Steve.

"Well, hello there Winston." Steve stiffened in front of me, then, painfully slow, turned. I smirked and gave two fingered wave.

"Hi there, Randle. Gotta say I love your outfit." The greaser become beet red, and stalked up to Soda, snatching his jeans. I didn't notice it until I walked past the ancient hall mirror, but my face was pretty flustered also. I mentally smacked myself. Since when did I blush over a gut wrapped in a towel? Dallas did it all the time.

_I was your brother. _

I almost shrieked, but managed to swallow it down and glared angrily in the mirror.

_No fucking way, Dallas. We're not doing this shit anymore!_

My dead, buried, rotting brother laughed in my head, sneering at my panic.

_Oh, we'll be doing this Dusty. For a long time too. Might as well welcome me back from me dead. _

_I hate you._

_Oh, sure you do Dusty. Sure you do._

I brought my fist up to shatter the mirror, but forced myself to turn away from it instead. I walked up the hallway and over to Soda, who was whispering frantically through the crack in his bedroom door.

"Randle, stop being such a wuss. I didn't see nothin'." I coaxed. Soda looked at me like I was nuts.

"Just leave me alone will 'ya?" I glared at the door, eyed Soda.

"What's his deal? P.M.S. or something?" Soda started to laugh, but tried to hold it back. I rolled my eyes, and turned back to the door. "Come on, Steve. When did you become so shy? Weren't you just checking me out this morning?" The door flew open, and a very angry Steve Randle stood in the door frame.

"I was not checking you out this morning!" I shoved Steve I in the chest.

"You so where. So stop getting all defensive about me seeing you in a towel. It's not like I saw your balls." I heard a loud, manic laugh coming from the front door. A half-drunk Two-Bit leaned against the door frame, beer bottle traditionally in hand.

"Now that would be a sight! Dallas' little sister eyeing Steve Randle's balls."

"Cut this shit!" Steve screamed hotly. I playfully punched him in the arm.

"Hey, cool it. We're just jerking you around." I turned back to the Rusty headed greaser. "So what's the story, Matthews?" Two-Bit pushed himself off the door frame and staggered over to me.

"Oh, there's a party at Buck's. Thought you guys might want to come."

"Hell yeah!" Both me and Soda replied. Steve grunted and scowled.

"Nah. I don't want a bunch of horny girls on top of me."

"Boy, you need horny girls all over you. It's been two months since you broke it off with Evie, and you haven't been laid since." I dropped my jaw and stared at Steve.

"What?! You broke up with Evie?" Steve grimaced.

"Yeah, cheated on me. I just don't want to run into her dateless." I snorted and wrapped my arms around Steve's waist.

"Hell, I'll be your date. So it's really been two months since you went out?" He pushed my arm away and scowled.

"Yeah, it has been. And you're not going to be my date, 'cause I'm not going!" I seized the dark greaser by his arm and pulled him to the door.

"No wonder you're so miserable. You've got to get out, man. And I'll drag you to Buck's if I have to." Steve snorted and glared at me.

"No way." I heaved a sigh, and lifted my eyes up.

"Okay, I really didn't want to do this…" In one swift motion, I kicked Steve in the chin. He went down with a moan, glaring at me the whole time. I automatically seized his legs and started to pull.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Dragging you to Buck's." I said simply. The two other boy's laughed, but Steve was not a happy camper.

"Fine then, you pushy bitch. I'll go the damn bar." I continued to chuckle as the four of us stumbled out of the house and into Two-Bit's car. We got to Buck's in record time, thanks to that extra can of booze the rusty haired greaser downed. I hopped out of the car, practically dragging Steve with me. I was all smiles.

"Winston!" I froze, and frowned as Tim Shepard waved. Curly was right behind him, smirking, along with the rest of the Shepard gang.

"Shit shit shit." I growled. This was going to be one long party.

**Okay, now we're getting some where! Jus to warn you, I'm going to be using he word fuck a lot more often. It's time to be dangerous ;)**


	4. Old Flames

Inside of Buck's, the lights where low, and the music was so loud that it pulsed through my feet

Inside of Buck's, the lights where low and the music was so loud that it pulsed through my feet. The four of us stood right in front of the door, scanning for some action. Tim had moved over to the makeshift bar, and was eyeing me like he expected me to join him.

"Shepard's looking at you." Steve grumbled. I shrugged and looked in the opposite direction.

"So?"

"So you should go and find out what the hell he wants." Two-Bit started to laugh manically.

"I think I have an idea!" He grabbed his crotch, and Soda started to laugh. I only scowled and took a step back.

"Go to hell. Shepard doesn't want that."

"Oh come on, Dusty. We where just kidding around." Soda punched my arm playfully. Two-Bit started to inch closer to the bar, and Steve leaned against the wall, pulling out a cigarette. I jerked him off the white plaster and pulled him towards the bar.

"Damn it, Winston! Why can't you just worry about yourself and leave me alone?" I threw Steve onto a stool and motioned to Buck.

"Because I'm to much of a good person. Beer or specialty?"

"Well well. What do we have here? The lost Randle with a pretty lady. Good combat, man. Evie will be shaking when she sees this chick."

"Two beers, Merrill. Be snappy about it." Buck squinted his eyes at my face.

"Do I know you?" I scowled and sat back on my stool.

"Did I really change that much, Buck?"

"Wait, no way! Holy shit, Winston! Where the hell have you been?!" He slopped two bottles in front of me, mouth dropped open. I shrugged and fought back a smile.

"Away. I got scared for a while, Buck. I thought you got new eyes." He shook his head.

"Not me, baby. As soon as I saw those eyes, I knew it was you." I grabbed my beer and chugged. When I put the half empty glass down, Steve was still staring at his full one with a scrunched up face, as if he was trying to make it explode.

"Beer's too warm for 'ya?" I asked, trying to start some sort of conversation. Steve looked over at me, eyes searching for some sort of trick or joke I was mocking him with.

"No. I'm just not thirsty." I stared at Steve, thinking that maybe if I thought long enough I could figure out what his problem was. I was so caught up in the Steve Randle mystery that I didn't notice Soda and Two-Bit sit next to me. It wasn't until I felt Soda's hot breath on my neck did I notice his presence.

"Look out, here comes trouble." Steve started to curse, and downed his beer in one gulp. I whirled around and glared at the direction of Soda's worried gaze. A petite brunette with chocolate colored eyes sneered at me, a small hand placed on her curvy waist.

"Well, look who's here. Stevie's new whore." I growled and leapt to me feet, barely containing myself from slamming the bitch into the concrete floor. I notice a small crowd gathering in the corner of my eye, but ignored it.

"Watch it, Evie. Wouldn't want to make a mess of your sluttly face."

"Is that a threat, Dusty? Because I don't like to be threatened." I glared at girl in front of me, wondering why she even came over.

"What the hell do you want anyway?" Evie ignored my question, and smirked.

"Are you and Steve going together?" The question hit me like a tone of bricks, and almost made me reel back onto the bar stool. Instead I kept my cool, and lifted my chin.

"What's it to you?" She laughed cruelly.

"I can't believe this. Steve, you're pathetic. Using your friend as a date to make me jealous? Wow, you must be desperate." I slapped her across the face, and grabbed her chin as her head swiveled back towards me.

"He's not using me. You don't talk to him like that, you hear?" Evie only kept her smirk on.

"Prove it, then." Now it was my turn to smile wickedly; the way Dally did. I turned my head towards Steve, who was watching the scene with wide eyes. I raised one eyebrow at him.

"Pucker up." I whispered. Before Steve could protest, I crushed my lips against his, grabbing a fist full of his hair so he couldn't escape. I slipped my tongue into his mouth, praying to god he wouldn't grit his teeth. I was shocked when he didn't. I pulled away, sucking in a lung full of air while enjoying the look of Evie's face.

"Believe us now?" She clenched her fist, and turned sharply on her heels. I threw my head aback and laughed victoriously.

"Little whore." Evie hissed. I gripped side of the bar, and used it to push my self off. I crushed my fingers into the girl's shoulders, and whirled her back my way.

'What did you just call me?" I said in a low voice. The red faced greasy girl took a step forward, making sure to get into my face.

"Little whore. What are you going to do about it, kiddie?" I shot my hand out to grab Evie's hair, and jerked it sharply to the right. "Agh!" I ignored her cry of pain, and with all the force I had, threw her to the left. She was knocked clear off her feet, and landed on top of a bar stool. Her head snapped back, and made a cracking sound as it made contact with the hard wood. I calmly sauntered over to Evie, a smirk tugging at me mouth.

"I'm not a kiddie. You're just an old hag." Evie only stared up at me in defeat. She new that she had lost the fight; that I now was above her in a greaser's mind. I leaned down farter to whisper into her ear. "If you give me anymore shit, I'll make sure you'll never open your mouth again." I leaned back up and gave the defeated girl one last smirk, and walked back over to my barstool.

"Nice, kid! Not one girl has beaten Evie in a chick fight!" Two-Bit slapped me on the back and offered me a sip of his beer, which I gulped down.

"You're the top girl now, Dusty!" Sodapop said eagerly, practically bouncing up and down. "I knew you where always a fighter, but that was amazing." I rolled my eyes and grabbed my own beer, taking a sip. I flipped my head towards Steve, waiting to hear his response. The boy only stared at me with a blank expression.

"Any one in there, Randle?"

"You kissed me. "He said dully. I shrugged and pushed his newly filled beer mug toward him.

"Friends don't let their friend's reputation be ruined over something as stupid as a kiss." Steve fidgeted in his seat.

"But now everybody thinks we're together."

"I don't care what people think. They can let their head run wild." Steve sighed and shook his head.

"Dusty…you don't understand. You're not supposed to go with me. You're supposed to go with the toughest guy; Shepard." I laughed at the suggestion and looked at Steve like he was crazy.

"What is this, a dog pack? I can date whoever the hell I want, and so can Tim." Steve was silent for a moment, and starred into space like he was in deep thought. He suddenly snapped his eyes towards mine.

"You're not scared of Shepard?"

"Hell no!" I scoffed.

"Well you should be. Don't pull a stupid move like that again." Steve leaned back and sipped at a beer hesitantly.

"There's a room open upstairs if you want it." Buck's loud voice called out. I snapped my eyes open and whirled around, anger starting to bubble in my stomach.

"Hush up! Do you want the whole party to know?!" Buck shrugged.

"Just thought I should tell you. Why are you being so jumpy? It's not like people don't know you're with him." Buck jerked his thumb towards Steve, who was a little red in the face.

"It's none of your business what we want, Merrill." He growled. I suddenly felt my cheeks warm and turned back to Steve.

"Cool it. Let's have fun, huh?" I slung an arm around Steve and took his right hand. "Come on, let's dance."

"You dance?" Steve said in surprise. I pulled him into the crowd of sweaty bodies and pressed against him.

"No, I just wanted to get away from that fight." Steve laughed and wrapped his arms around me.

"Dusty Winston's running away from a fight? That's something new."

"Well I wasn't going to be involved, so I decided to break it up." The upbeat song switched off, and was replaced with a slow tune. I felt my legs twitch, and had a sudden urge to run. "Well, the tension's down now. Let's go." I pulled away from Steve and swerved in and out of the crowd, not bothering to look behind me. I started walking faster when I saw and exit sign. Just as I was about to turn the knob, the door swung open.

"Come on, Ponyboy. It's not like it's a lion's den or anything." I stiffened as Ponyboy stepped inside, the same big chested brunette from the night before dangling off his arm. They must have been going out. Ponyboy tensed when he saw me, and clenched his fist. Like I would ever fight him.

"Curtis." I said pleasantly enough. He relaxed his shoulders, but still kept his fist in balls.

"Winston." I nodded and turned the girl he was with, curiosity getting the best of me.

"Hi there. Sorry we weren't introduced the other night. Don't really like being dragged from a good time." I held out a hand. "Dusty Winston." She looked at my hand, a glint of fear showing in her eyes. I wondered how much Ponyboy told her about me. But she took it, and I pumped it once and let it fall.

"I'm Cathy. Ponyboy's girl." The boy standing next to her stiffened for the third time in two minutes. I rolled my eyes.

"Curtis, stop acting like I'm going to jump you every five seconds, 'cause I'm not. I'm not going after Cathy either." I smirked and slapped him across the shoulder. "Loosen up. Get a beer or something. Make sure he gets some alcohol in him, 'kay Cathy?" Now the brunette was smirking, and I guessed she already knew about Ponyboy's morals.

"Been trying for two months." I laughed. Typical Ponyboy.

"There you are Dusty! God, I've been looking all over for you." Steve came up from behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Oh, hi Curtis." Steve's voice fell as he saw me and Ponyboy standing together. I laughed and held up my hand, gesturing towards the thick ring on my thumb.

"Cathy, you know Steve." I wrapped my arms around Steve's. Cathy dropped her jaw, eyeing the ring I had held up just moments before. I self-consciously used my pointing finger to push it back up. The girl turned to Ponyboy, looking slightly annoyed.

"Ponyboy Curtis, there's a snowball's chance in hell that you're going to walk away from this unscratched." I laughed again and slapped Ponyboy across the shoulder again. This time he flinched.

"Way to pick them, Curtis. She's a keeper." I tugged on Steve's arm. 'Come on, Randle. Let's blow this joint."

"Hold up! I'm coming too!" Sodapop stumbled out of the house and right on top of me.

"Ow! Damn it, get off!" I shoved him away and glared. "Watch it Curtis." Soda grinned like a maniac and slung an arm around m shoulder.

"Oh, lighten up Dusty. Stop being Ms. Gloom and doom." Soda turned and nodded to Ponyboy and Cathy. "Hey there. Don't go too crazy, okay Ponyboy?" The three of us chuckled again as Ponyboy's face turned red.

"Now look here, I do know how to have good time! So stop bugging the hell out of me!" The boy's face was a flustered crimson as he marched into the house, not caring if his girlfriend followed him or not.

'What the hell is his problem?" I grumbled. Soda shrugged.

"He did a lot of growing up while you where gone. Changed a lot." I let go of Steve's arm and started to go back up the steps.

"Well I'm not just gonnna let him get away like that." Steve grabbed my arm, and glared at me with dark eyes.

"Dusty, don't go and start trouble." I looked at Steve like he was nuts and jerked my arm back.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to, Randle?" Steve still bounded in front of me.

"If you go after him…" I slacked my jaw, but quickly tightened it as the venom from Steve's words sank into my blood stream.

"You better mean that I'm looking for a fight, Steve." He leaned forward, his nose lightly touching mine.

"Or what?" I screamed in anger and pushed him hard on the chest. I didn't even bother to yell at him when I shoved past him, my heart racing so fast I could feel the pulse in my eyes. I could barely make out the sound of Steve scramble behind me as I pushed through the drunk crowd. Finally, I spotted the russet haired boy leaning against a wall, cigarette in hand. I took a giant step forward and purposely shoved into him.

"What hell was that?!" Ponyboy glared at me and lit out his cigarette.

"I think I should be asking that." I crossed my arms oer my chest and squared my shoulders.

"Don't get smart with me, Curtis. Why do you always have to be such a little bitch?" Ponyboy's mouth twitched at the corners. Before I could blink, he pushed himself off the wall and shoved me with a force that made me stumble.

"You're the bitch, Dusty! Stop acting like a saint, 'cause you're not!" I lunged at Pony and grabbed his shoulders, slamming him into the wall.

"I never said I was a saint, you bastard! And you're not a perfect angel either." What happened next was something I wasn't counting on. The first thing I knew my hands where forced from the boy's shoulder, the next I was on the floor, my cheek sharply throbbing. Not a soul dared to talk as I slowly rose, never letting my eyes trail from the grey-green ones in front of me. "Do you really want to fuck with me, Curtis?" I said in a low whisper. "Do you really want to start a fight?" Ponyboy smirked, a thing I never saw him do.

"You act like you would win. How are you so sure?" That did it. I snapped my wrist back, and slammed it into his nose with all the energy I had. His head jerked back, making a sickening cracking sound. The blood lust pumping through my veins commanded me to attack, to tear the bastard's fucking throat out. And I would of. By, God, would of killed Ponyboy right then and there. But a firm and strong hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me back from my spring. I cried out at the sheer force and twisted around, desperate to get a glimpse of my captor. I only caught a glint of coppery hair.

"Now Dusty, we wouldn't want to make a mess out of things." A soothing voice entered my ear, causing my muscles to relax and the blood lust to disappear. I twisted a little bit more to see the owner of the soothing voice. At first I was confused; and thought I'd never met him before. But then I stared deeper into the misty grey eyes…eyes that I met three years ago and still remembered now.

"You." I said hoarsely. "Let go of me." He only tightened his grip while Ponyboy moaned, and leaned up.

"No. Not until he leaves." The Motorcycle Boy jerked his head towards Curtis, who was now standing.

"Turn her loose. I can fight her." He only raised an eyebrow and stared at the blood flowing out of his nose.

"Your nose is broken."

"So?"

"So stop playing tough guy. Go home."

"Let us finish this." I growled. The Motorcycle Boy shook his head.

"I'm not going to let you tear up your friend."

"He/she is not my friend!" Me and Ponyboy spat at the same time, venom dripping from each word that left our mouths. This time, the Motorcycle Boy didn't respond. He only stared at the white walls wit ha black expression, as if he was in another dimension. After a moment, Ponyboy finally stood up.

"This isn't over." Ponyboy growled at me.

"Ponyboy, this will never be over." He only blinked once. Then bolted towards the door.

It would never end. The passion we shared for each other. Passionate love, passionate hate. What's really the difference?


	5. Shepard's Bedmate Requirements

I didn't even bother to slam the door, I was so fired up

I didn't even bother to slam the door, I was so fired up. It seemed that there was only one sentence pounding in my head.

_How did it get like this? How in the world did it get to be this bad?_

I'm not a violent person, never was. Sure, people get me angry, and every now and then I get pissed off. But never, never had I felt hate. I've never felt the steely fist squeezed my heart to nothing as I glared into the eyes of another. As I glared into the eyes of Dusty. And I never got into fights. Never go the urge to bang a bottle in on someone's head. But tonight I did. I came to a halt and leaned in on my knees, trying desperately to catch my breath. The lack of air and the steel grip on my heart was too much. I leaned up and threw back my head, letting out a cry of pain. Damn, why did hate have to hurt so much?

_Idiot. _

I snapped my head back and spun around. It couldn't be…

_In the lot. Now._

I was going crazy. That was the only explanation. Because there was no way in hell that the voice belonged to a person I knew, to a person that was dead. But my feet started moving towards the empty field, my mind claiming that is was completely stupid and pointless to even consider that the voice belonged to Johnny Cade.

"Hello, Ponyboy." I nearly jumped out of skin as I spun around, coming face to face with a shimmering form of Jonathan Stephen Cade. "No time no see."

"Christ!" I shouted shakily, my legs slowly starting to turn into rubber beneath me. "Johnny! But, your suppose to be…"

"Dead?" He finished for me. "I am. Just got some unfinished business to take care of. Like you." I gulped and tried not to panic.

"Me? What did I ever do?" Johnny sighed like I was a four year old asking too many questions.

'You stopped loving her. No, you deny loving her."

'Who?" I said shakily. Johnny clinched his fist and shook his head.

"Dusty, you idiot! For three whole years she's been all you can think about!"

'That's not true! I stopped loving her the day she stole from me!" Johnny was silent, a round o formed on his face as his eyes grew wide. I continued to glare at him, but stopped when I realized that something was terribly wrong.

"Stole? I didn't steal anything from you!" I held my breath and turned around slowly, doing my best to look tough as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"You sure? Because it seemed like you did a hell of a lot in the backseat of that car." Dusty's chest heaved, her cold blue eyes narrowed, and her mouth contorted as raspy breaths escaped her lips.

"I didn't do anything you didn't want me to do! If you didn't want to do it, then why the hell didn't you say so?" I jerked back in surprise at Dusty's attack. She got control of her breath and relaxed her face muscles, and no longer narrowed her eyes. Instead she grabbed my shirt by the collar, and started to push me up against a tree. "That's what I thought. So next time you accuse me of rape, think about what you wanted." She let go of my shirt with a jerk, and started to walk away. Suddenly she stopped, and turned half way around. "Things can never go back to the way they were. We can never be friends now."

_Or more._ I thought. I only nodded my head and met her ice blue eyes, for once not lowering my own to the intimidating coolness.

"Cathy's looking for you." Dusty mumbled before sprinting out into the night, her black hair slowly blending in with the darkness until it swallowed her whole.

XXX

I stopped in front of the beat up shack, painting and pushing the image of Ponyboy's shocked expression from my mind. He was gone. Dead to my heart. And this time I was positive it was true. My left arm began to twitch. I waned to hit something. I wanted to hit it hard. I couldn't tell if the pulsing nerve was my anger or my pain calling out to me. Soon the throbbing spread into my legs. One of my knees had given out. I had to sit down. I don't know why, but for some reason I thought that Pony would come after me. Who was I kidding. As my face was push against the cold rough wood, and my mind about to burst, I felt a sudden vibration coming from the side bedroom.

_Maybe I should just go home. _I thought.

But I didn't. I began to climb up the side the house toward the small window in the left hand corner of Tim's bedroom.

_One leg at a time_. I thought. I lifted myself onto the window seal, smooshing my face against the glass to look inside the dim room. A body that I figured to be Curly's was slumped over a bed pushed into a corner, long gone. I wrinkled my nose and turned back to the other side of the room, looking for the one guy I knew I could always come to.

Tim Shepard was lying on his bead, stripped down to only his underwear with an arm thrown over his head. I grunted and lifted the window, falling into the room with a thud.

"Christ! Winston!" Tim scrabbled with his sheets, jerking them over his legs and above his waist. "What the hell are you doing here?!" I stood and grunted, stumbling over to the older boy's bed as crashing side-down.

"I just decided to drop in. Isn't it a little early to be hitting the sack?"

"I'm just taking a nap, so you can turn tail and go on home to the Curtis'." I laughed bitterly and pressed my face into the sheets that smelled of whisky.

"Guess you missed the grand show tonight?"

"No. I saw it. Nice performance, too." I lifted my head and scooted up a little, just to where my face was next to his well formed chest. I noticed a white scar that ran from the top of his right peck to his left nipple, and instantly thought of my own scar.

"Can I please stay here, Tim?" He looked down at me with a quizzical expression in his face, probably wondering why I would want to hang with him instead of the Curtis gang. "You've always come through with me before."

'Yeah, well that was when you were in trouble. This is different. So get out." I ignored his command and pressed closer to him, barely rubbing my nose against his chest as I shook my head.

"Too late. I'm all ready here. Might as well change your mind."

"Dusty, I said…"

"And I'm saying no!" I grabbed his back with my free hand and pulled closer to him, grazing my lips lightly against his ear as my voice buzzed. "I don't want to go to the Curtis house. It's too weird. At least here someone feels okay around me." Tim pulled back and raised his eyebrows.

"Who's that?"

"You. Now can I please stay?" Tim looked down at me for a long moment, a look that was sad as he shook his head.

"I only let the girls I fuck sleep with me. But you're more than welcome to use the floor." I gripped his back harder, pressing closer to his until I wrapped my right leg around his.

"You're gonna have to push me off first, and you'll just go down with me." Tim chuckled and smoothed the hair out of my face.

"Selfish little bitch, didn't your brother ever teach you to fight fair?"

"Did you forget who my brother was?" Tim chuckled again and leaned down closer to my face, until his breath tickled my nose. I kept my eyes set on his dark blue ones, that seemed to crash against me like dark ocean waves.

"No." He breathed, then kissed me. Hard. On the lips. At first my eyes grew wide in panic, unsure of what the older boy was doing. I tried To move from under the weight of his hand against my wrist, but it only made him push harder. Suddenly he stopped, and pulled away with out warning. "That's why you can't sleep in my bed. Can't even take a kiss from a man." I felt anger flicker inside of me as I leaned up and glared at Tim.

"I can to!" I reached up and grabbed a fistful of dark brown wakes, bringing them down to reach my lips; my surprisingly eager lips.

_How the fuck is this happening? _I thought to myself. _How was I able to kiss the guy who's played the roll of big brother all my life?_ I didn't know the answer, and didn't bother to think of one anytime soon. All I wanted to focus on was the way Tim was forcing his lips onto my lower one, holding nothing back, taking charge. He pulled away a second time, this time gasping and staring at me with wide unbelieving eyes.

"Wow, Winston. Guess I underestimated you." He collapsed next to me, staring up at the ceiling with what seemed to be dancing eyes. "You can stay in my bed."

"Good." I grumbled, turning the other way. "I was going to kick your ass if you didn't let me." Tim laughed again, and turned me over to face him.

"That would be a sight." I sighed and stretched, exhaustion suddenly creeping in on my head.

"Mmhmm."

"Tired?"

"Mmm." He didn't say anything past that, only held me by the back so I couldn't roll back over. I made the most of his body head and buried my face into his chest, the dark fuzz brushing against my cheek. "Thanks, Tim."

"You're welcome Winston."


	6. Not All that Bad

I felt weight on top of me; heavy weight that I doubt I could move on my own

I felt weight on top of me; heavy weight that I doubt I could move on my own. I furrowed my close eyes in confusion and something wet and soft pressed against my lips, and slowly moved down to my neck. I snapped my eyes open at the sensation.

"Well, look who's up." The last person that I expected to see smiled, laying his chin on my chest.

"What the fuck, Shepard?!" I yelled, doing my best to push the older boy off of me. Tim only smiled and grabbed my wrist, pinning them over my head.

"This is odd behavior. Last night you practically threw yourself at me." I groaned as I remembered the night before.

"Oh, that. That was nothing." Tim smirked again, brushing his lips up my neck. I instantly tensed and bit my lip, holding back the rising sound in my throat.

"Oh, but that's not what your groans tell me. Admit it, you're trying to fight one back now." I glared at Tim, wanting nothing more in the world but to hate him for making his statement true. I swallowed back the groan and opened my mouth to talk.

"Don't flatter yourself. I have no…agh!" I couldn't help but make a sound as Tim attacked my neck again. "Why are you doing this?" Tim pulled back, sitting on my legs so he could stare into my eyes. Suddenly his weight was gone as he moved off the bed, making his way for the door.

"I have to take a shower." He mumbled, racing out the door. I sighed in relief, covering my face with my hands as Tim's face continued to haunt me. _What the fuck, what the fuck?!_

I had to do something. Just leaving the Shepard house would brand me as a coward. But how could I face Tim? After I asked him why he wanted to kiss me…oh God. Tim Shepard didn't stop kissing me. Could he possibly…no! It wasn't possible!

_But it is._

_Shut up! Just shut up, you're not suppose to know how I feel!_

_But aren't big brother's suppose to know?_

_No! Just leave me the fuck alone!_

_You love him, Dusty. He loves you. Perfect match. _

I gasped when a cold realization came over me. No matter who I was with, Dallas always screamed at me to stay away. Well, everyone except _him_. So why was he being different now?

_What…what about Ponyboy?_

_What about him? I'm done telling you what to do, Dusty. You're old enough to decide who you love. Christ, I can't stand this any longer. _

_Dallas?_

But there was no Dallas. Dally was gone; gone from my mind and no longer haunting my thoughts. I new because I felt it, I felt the never dying flame of Dallas Winston burn out inside of me. So my brother had given up on me, for the second time in my life.

I knew what I was going to do. Take the last advice my brother gave me. I knew it was true, not because Dal told me, but because I felt it in my chest and gut. My hands reached for my shoes, which were pulled off sometime last night. My jacket was off too, and draped on a lamp positioned in the corner. I swung it over my shoulder and walked out into the hallway, following the sounds of running water until I found a door with steam escaping it. I dug in my pocket and produced a cigarette, lighting it while leaning against the decaying wall. I was half way through the smoke when the door flew open, and Tim stepped out of the door, wrapped only in a towel.

"Fuck, Winston! I thought you would be gone!" Tim cursed and grabbed the knot that held the cloth around his waist up.

"Usually I would." I stated, moving off the wood and taking a step towards Tim. "But in your case I decided to make an exception." I was now dangerously close to Tim, my breath danced over his slick chest as he gulped.

"What do you want, Dusty? Honestly? Why the hell are you still here?" I licked my lips while desperately trying to produce an answer, but nothing smart popped into my head. So I only stared up at the older man with wide eyes. "You know, if you don't leave I'll probably jump you again." I finally caught my breath and found my words.

"I wouldn't mind." I breathed, leaning up on my toes to get my lips closer to Tim's. Before I could reach any father, I was slammed into the wall, pinned as Tim Shepard loomed over me with an animalistic glint in his eye.

"That's not what you said in the bedroom." I lifted my chin and met Tim's gaze with a hard, cool one.

"I changed my mind." Tim laughed, as in bellowed when he looked down at me.

"Christ, you try to look like your brother. I bet half the time you don't even try though." Tim leaned down farther, breathing into my gaped mouth. "You don't look like your brother now, though. You look like yourself. The true, honest to god Dusty Winston." I made a small noise as Tim crashed his lips to mine. He pressed hard against my mouth, moving his hands to rest on my hips as he flicked his tongue across my lips.

"Tim…" I pulled away and gasped for air, staring up innocently into the deep blue eyes. "I have to go." He pulled away and grabbed the cigarette dangling in my hand and put it into his mouth.

"Sure, get out of here." I rolled my eyes and wrapped and arm around his waist.

"Drive me there?" He looked down at me with squinted eyes, but smiled when I pressed noticeably closer into his chest.

"I guess, got nothing better to do."

We were cruising down the road a moment later, Tim had one hand on the steering wheel while the other got suspiciously closer to my thigh by the second. "So where are you off to?"

"The DX." I stated without hesitation. I noticed that Tim's eyes got darker at the mention of the gas station.

"You really need to find a new group of friends." I glared over at Tim.

'What if I told you to get a new gang?" Tim shook his head.

"That's different…"

"No it's not. Stop acting all jealous, will 'ya? It's making me lose my faith in the Shepard clan." Tim snorted.

"I'm never jealous." I continued to glare over at him.

"So if I walked right to, oh, let's say Sodapop and made out with him, you wouldn't mind?" Tim turned to glare at me.

"Don't you even think about it. You're mine now." I mentally cringed. I had never belonged to anyone, they belonged to me. Never had I dated a person that was not willing to let me take charge.

"No I'm not. Where's the proof?" Tim started twisting a gold sphere around his finger, and pulled it off slowly.

_No way. No possible fucking way was Tim Shepard going to give me…_

"Here's your proof." I gawked at the ring that was pushed into my hands. It hit me then that Tim wasn't fooling around. He was seriously attracted to me. And no girl wouldn't be attracted to the dark haired hood, with defined muscles and deep blue eyes that where so enchanting you can be lot in them forever.

I slipped the ring silently onto my thumb, and even there it was loose. It didn't matter though. I shifted slightly in my seat, placing my hand next to Tim's thigh. When the car jerked to a stop, I twisted my body so it pressed against the older man's, pushing my lips eagerly against his.

"Dusty…" Tim breathed, grabbing my waist while pushing me back into my seat. It was a struggle, since I still tried to hold my ground, but he pinned me to the seat eventually. "I have to drive, remember?" I huffed and crossed my arms, starring ahead with impatience.

"Yeah, yeah." Tim started to drive again, this time placing one hand on my knee. He swung into the gas station, parking behind the pump that was farthest away from the building. "Thanks." I mumbled, opening the door and stepping out.

"Where are you going?" I turned and smirked at Tim, who was lounged in his seat.

"Inside, dumbass." Tim growled and grabbed my wrist, yanking me down on top of him.

"Not after you tried to jump me, you don't." I pulled away from Tim's arms and leaned back.

'Watch me." Tim furrowed his eyebrows as I stepped out, leaving him in the car.

"You're not making any sense, Winston. First you try to make out with me, and now you don't!" I smirked again.

"I do, Shepard. But I'm not going to waist my time waiting for you." With that said I jumped out of the car and slammed the door, running to the building without looking a second time at Tim.

"Hey! Where did you take off to last night?" Sodapop leaned over the counter and waved, pushing the crowd of girls that had gathered aside as he ran to greet me.

"Long story." I grumbled, walking over to the stools in front of the counter. "Got anything with alcohol?" Soda laughed.

"It's only ten in the morning. Take a coke instead." I scowled at Soda, but took the coke that was pushed towards me.

"Who are you, my brother?" Some blond chick cleared her throat irritably, looking me up and down with cold eyes.

"Nice ring you got there." She said, with and edge to her voice. Soda stared wide eyed at me, looking down at my hands.

"Ring? What ring?" He grabbed my hand and jerked it under his nose, gorging his chocolate eyes on the gold. "Glory, Dusty! When did this happen? Who's the guy?" I groaned and jerked my hand back, giving the blond a bitchy look before turning to Soda.

"This morning, actually. He gave it to me in his car." I pulled out a light and lit it, taking a long drag.

"Who's he?" I glared at Soda, but ripped my eyes away when the door to the building flew open. Tim stalked over to me on the stool, a determined look planted in his eyes as He pushed me against the counter.

"No one walks away from Tim Shepard after a ride like _that_." I raised my chin and tried to push him away.

"I just did."

"Well you're not going to get away with it."

"Are you going to do something about it?" He pressed harder, grabbing the back of my head.

"Yeah." He crushed his lips on top of mine, not bothering to ease up as I squirmed under him. A moment later Tim pulled away for air. I gasped and rested my head against his chest, fighting to get air like him.

"Shepard?! Tim Shepard?! Dear lord, Dusty have you gone loony?" Soda shouted as I turned around, starring threateningly at his perfect face.

"Shut up, Soda. It's none of your damn business." The boy went stiff behind the counter, then turned away grumbling.

"Your right. Nothing's my damn business anymore." I didn't say anything, only fished through my pockets until I found a nickel. When I slammed it down on the counter, Soda turned back to me with a sad look in his eyes, which was near impossible. "You know, when I found out you were back, I thought I would actually spend time with you, and we could be friends again."

"Sodapop, we are friends!" I exclaimed, shoving Tim's weight away while jumping across the counter. "We do spend time together." Soda whirled around and shook his head.

"Not anymore. You're going to run off with him every night and forget all about us!" I barreled into Soda, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing hard.

'I'll never forget you! Stop saying stuff like that! I'm not going to make the same mistake I made last time. I'm not going to forget the gang." Soda slid his arms around my shoulders and held me close until Tim coughed.

"Dusty, we better go." He said in a low voice. I pulled away from Sodapop and glared at Tim.

"Take a hike, Shepard. Today I'm going to hang with my buddies." I could almost see Soda smile. Tim glared at me and crossed his arms.

"And what am I suppose to do, huh? Twiddle my thumbs and wait for you?" I smirked as I leaned across the counter and grabbed Tim by the back of his head, kissing him slowly while tickling the back of his neck. He shivered and pulled away, no longer glaring but still frowning.

"Don't look so pissed. I promise I'll sneak into your house my eleven." I laughed and pecked his lips. "Now get going, get drunk before noon for me." Tim pulled away, shaking his head but containing a smile.

"Fine. See you at eleven." I was shocked at how easy that was. I guess the offer of booze was too much to resist.

"Well that took care of him." I pushed Soda and jumped to the other side of the counter.

"Don't be so mean. He's not all bad you know." Soda rolled his eyes as he rang up a red head's gas bill.

"Sure. And I'm Paul Newman."


	7. The New Ponyboy Curtis

Soda continued on his merry way, obviously pleased that I had chosen hanging with him then Shepard

Soda continued on his merry way, obviously pleased that I had chosen hanging with him then Shepard. Steve grunted a greeting when he came in for his break, looking slightly uncomfortable as he sat next to me. I ignored the weird vibe coming off of him and continued to chat with Sodapop; mostly about drag races and rumbled from the "good old days". Just thinking the phrase made me feel old. Everything was just dandy until he came in, hands shoved into his pockets as he warm green grey eyes danced towards Soda.

"Hey, Sodapop! What's the new gossip?" Ponyboy grinned as his brother. Soda smiled back and jerked his thumb towards me.

"I heard from a reliable source that out little Dusty Winston is going steady with a certain hood…"

"He is not a hood!" I spat. Soda laughed and slung an arm over my shoulder.

"Darling, he leads his own gang. He's a hood." I scowled.

"Shut up. Beside's I'm used to being around hoods. Even if it is Tim Shepeard…"

"_What_?" I shifted my gaze to Ponyboy, who was starring at me with an open mouth and wide eyes.

"I said even if it's Tim."

"You're, going out with Tim?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah, what's the problem?" He stared at me for a minute, disbelief and possibly regret…no, it couldn't be regret, plastered on his face. He shook his head and walked around to the counter.

"Nothing. Soda, I need a beer." I choked on my coke and stared at the teen with disbelief.

"You? A beer? What the fuck have you done with Ponyboy Curtis?"

"The Ponyboy Curtis you knew is long gone, Dusty." I would of laughed, except the expression on Pony's face was dead serious. It didn't let up, either. He just kept those intense misty green eyes fixed on me. Steve caughed and Soda shifted, moving towards the garage.

"Uh, I forgot to oil this car. Help me, will 'ya Steve?" The two men hustled out of the store, nearly stumbling over each other in desperation. I sipped at the coke at my right, feeling my mind squirm under Ponyboy's stare.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" I exclaimed, slamming my coke down on the counter. "Stop starring at me like that!" Ponyboy stood slowly, ignoring my snarl. "What are you doing?" Slowly, he took a step towards me, then another. "Curtis, what the hell…" I lost my breath as Ponyboy placed both hands on my sides, holding the same stare he had since he confirmed he wasn't the same Ponyboy Curtis. Then he struck like a snake, forcing his lips against mine in an aggressive manner; but as he grabbed a handful of my hair to prevent escape I realized it was needy. That's when I got scared. I became terrified when he started moaning my name, still ghosting his lips over mine. I quickly pulled myself out of shock and shoved the boy away with all my might.

"What was that, you fucker?!" He blinked once, as if he couldn't even remember his name. then he stumbled back to me.

"I left her, Dusty. I got rid of her to be with you. You're the one I want. I wasn't to sure before, but now I know it. I love you." I snorted, and fought back the urge to laugh cruelly.

"So?" I said, crossing my arms while raising an eyebrow. Ponyboy gapped at me and showed no sign of composing himself. I let my uncontrollable laughter loose and shook me head. "Did you honestly think that I would be sitting here, waiting like last night's chocolate cake?" He reacted to this words by shutting his mouth and widening his pleading gaze. Honestly, a week ago it would of worked. I would of jumped into his arms; no question.

But that was then, this is now. "Well I got news for you, buddy. Someone's already eaten the cake." I deliberately shoved into his shoulder, causing him to stumble back. He looked down at me, his pleading eyes suddenly became determined.

"Fine then, go off and have your fucking good time with Shepard. But when he breaks your heart. You know where to find me." I glared at the new Ponyboy, hating the new confidence that could be taken for cockiness that laid behind his words.

"A word of advice, Curtis. Never wait for someone. 'Cause they'll break you, not giving a fuck about what you feel. Trust me, I should know." I slammed the door open and let it fall shut, ignoring the protest calls of Sodapop coming from the garage. Let Pony tell him why I left. I sighed as Ponyboy's determined eyes filled my mind.

_When he breaks your heart…_

"You damn idiot." I whispered. "You already did that long ago."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Ponyboy, oh Ponyboy. What the hell are we going to do with that kid? Sorry this chapter is short, but make it any longer and it kills the mood. Reviews always appreciated. **


	8. The Shitty Now

I tipped my head back and drained the bottle, wiping the excess liquid from my mouth

I tipped my head back and drained the bottle, wiping the excess liquid from my mouth.

"Damn, Winston. Take it easy with the booze." I glared at Buck and jerked the bottle out of his hands.

"Who are you, my mother? Besides, I need to get good and drunk." Maybe then I could ge the pathetic greaser out of my head. Ponyboy's kiss kept on haunting my memory, and not in the desperate, longingly way it was before. It was truly haunting, creeping me out.

"You look like a ray of sunshine." I growled as The Motorcycle Boy slid into the stool behind me, getting a beer.

"Fuck off." He chuckled and continued to stare at me with those misty grey eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Didn't I tell you to fuck off?" He sighed and took a sip of his beer, gazing off into the distance.

"Not the one to open up. Never was." He murmured. I shook my head at him and groaned, noticing the beer wasn't making the creepy feeling of Ponyboy's lips go away. I suddenly found my self missing Tim; his kiss would wipe away all trace of Ponyboy. I desperately needed Tim.

"Well, I gotta go." Buck looked at me with an expression of shock.

"But it's only ten thirty!" I took a quick sip of beer and turned around, heading for the door.

"Exactly. I got an eleven o' clock curfew." Buck rolled his eyes and waved his hands in a drunken manner.

"Really Dusty! You're going to let those Curtis pansies boss you around?" I ignored Buck's comment and ran out the door, away from the bar, and in the direction of the Shepard house. It was only about a ten minute drive, but since I was jogging it was going to be twenty.

At ten fifty I came around the side of the house, peering in to see if anyone was watching. Then I lifted the window and squeezed in. I landed with a thud on top of a pair of jeans that looked like Curly's judging be the size. I rose quickly and brushed off, hopping none of Curly's disgusting germs got on to me. Then I made my way over to the bed, taking off my shoes, socks, and jacket. I heard water running down the hall, and guessed it was Tim. I sighed and flopped on my back, throwing and arm over my head to block out the dim light. Suddenly the water stopped running, and a moment later I heard foot steps down the hall.

"Christ!" I moved my arm slightly to smirk at Tim, wrapped in a towel. "Why do you always catch me in towel?" I laughed and turned my face into the pillow, mumbling that I wasn't looking. He snorted and started bustling around, getting dress. I breathed in the pillow, smiling against the familiar smell that I could only distinguish as Tim. Suddenly I felt a weight wrapped around my body, pulling me away from the pillow.

"What did you do today?" I mumbled as Tim moved his lips inches from my lips.

"Different shit." I suddenly remember the need to feel Tim's lips, and moved my head a fraction of an inch, pushing my lips against his. My mind instantly shot into different directions, scattering across the universe as stars exploded behind my closed eyes. Tim suddenly pulled away, and I reluctantly opened my eyes. Tim was kneeling over me and smirking. "You look like your high."

"I don't shoot up." I said, sitting up. I crashed back down when Tim pushed me. "Hey, what was that for?" He crashed down on top of me, burying me alive under his muscles. "Tim! Can't breath!" He only laughed and pressed harder.

"Holler Uncle!" I squirmed under him and tried to punch his chest, but that didn't help.

"You son of a bitch." I growled. Oh well, I guess I was going to have to do this the hard way. I brought my hands from under Tim and to his back, racing my fingers to the top of his back. Before he could ask what the hell I was doing, I raked my nails down in one fluid motion. I expected cussing, I expected a good smack on a head, but anything than what I got. Tim threw back his head and moaned, and something below his belt line pressed into my stomach.

"That's definitely not going to get me off of you." I felt a whimper rise to my throat, but quickly swallowed it and stood absolutely still.

"Shit." My voice came out as a squeak, which made Tim laugh. He rolled off of me and to my left, propping his head on an elbow.

'You look scared shitless. Did my roar scare you?" Not so much his roar as much as his tail. I shook my head and told myself I wasn't scared of anything, nothing, not boys, not love, and not Tim's little friend.

When all in all Tim was right. I was scared shitless. "No." I lied through my teeth, scooting closer to his chest and tracing my lips against his.

"You're a really bad liar Dusty." He pulled away and stared at me with intense blue eyes.

"I'm not lying!" I proved it by moving my lips against his, tickling the back of his neck like I did that morning. He hissed, and again I felt something from in between his legs press into my thigh. I resisted the urge to yelp, but pulled away.

"God, Dusty." He breathed, crashing his head into the pillow. "How do you know how to drive me crazy?" I smirked and pressed my lips against his jaw.

"You look tired."

"Mmm." He closed his eyes and made a noise that sounded like a purr as I laid my head on his chest. He lazily wrapped an arm around my shoulders and parted his lips slightly. "I'm only taking a nap. When I wake up, you better holler uncle." I smirked and adjusted comfortably in his arms.

"Don't count on it." He was out before he could make a remark. I relaxed finally, my fear from before slowly slipping away. I started to feel my own eyes droop, and almost gave into sleep until I heard my name whispered.

"Dusty…" Tim growled low, followed by a moan that I had just heard moments before. "Oh Dusty…" I slapped my hand over my mouth to keep from yelping as Tim's friend popped back up in his boxers. That did it. I slipped out of Tim's grasp as quietly as I could and threw on my shoes and jacket. I jumped out the window with out a second thought and ran like hell.

I hopped up the Curtis' porch and swung the door open, panting and gasping as fear still shook me to the core. I could tell I had made it just in time to catch they boys, since Steve was already lounged out on the couch and Soda was propped up against the coffee table with drooping eyes. But those eyes shot wide open as I stumbled in and fell next to him, shaking all over.

"Glory, Dusty! You look like you've just seen death!" I tried desperately to try to stop my shaking, but it was useless.

"Got a light?" Steve had jumped off the couch and handed me a cigarette.

"What the hell happened?" I gulped and in haled the smoke, hopping it would calm me down. I took another drag and another, until Steve grew impatient. "I asked what the hell happened to you?!" I glared at the older boy and blew a puff of smoke in his face.

"Fuck you!"

"Dusty, don't act like that." Soda placed a gentle hand on my shoulder as I leaned my head back on the couch. "We just want to know, and we have the right to. After you came barging in looking like a murderer…" His voice trailed off, a look of horror passing over his face. "You didn't commit murder, did you?" I burst out laughing and threw my head back, glad to let most of the tension in my body go.

"No, I didn't commit murder."

"Then tell us!" I shrunk against the rough material of the couch and blushed against my will as I remembered the way Tim called my name.

"I can't." I mumbled.

"Why 'It's too…God, it's too personal and embarrassing! I don't even know why I came here." I stood to leave, but both boys grabbed my hands and yanked me down.

"It can't be that bad." Soda urged. "Come on, Dusty. Let it out." I sighed when I realized I wasn't going to get out of this, not even if I ran before they could get me. They would just turn Ponyboy loose like a hunting dog to bring me back. I buried my face into the cushion of the couch to hide the extra shot of red shot to my face.

"I was…I was wrestling with Tim when he pinned me, and told me to holler uncle." I moved my head away from the scratchy material and stared into Sodapop's eyes. "Well you know I don't like to give up with out a fight, so I started punching him, but that didn't work. Then…and then…" I turned my head back into the couch as another wave of embarrassment washed over me. "And then I scratched is back. And I mean, really scratched."

"Oh God."

"I had no idea…I thought he was going to cuss me out or something, but instead he…he…"

"He became hard." Steve said bluntly. I pressed my head against my knees and moaned.

"That's not even the worst." Soda was on his feet instantly, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Glory, you slept with him?!"

"No!" I stood and ran a hand through my hair in exasperation. "He feel asleep. And while he was asleep…" I caught my breath and heaved my chest, more embarrassment if possible flooding over me.

'Great, did he have a sex dream about you too?" I hit the floor with a thud and refused to look up at Steve. "Christ!" I stood back up quickly and glared at the two frazzled boys.

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. You're acting like I just told you the end of the world is near." I moved for the door, but two arms encircled my waist before I could turn the knob.

"You're not going anywhere!"

"Steve, you got ten seconds to let me go."

"Come on, Steve. Dusty can take car of herself." Steve ignored Soda's plee and squeezed my waist harder.

"I'm not sending her off to Shepard."

"Let go of me, you son of a bitch! Why do you give a shit anyway?"

"Because I care about you! Is that so hard to believe?" I whirled around as best as I could against Steve's crushing arms, still pushing against his chest.

"If you care about me you'll let me go. Damn it, Steve! I'm not a little girl any more!"

"Steve, let her go." Soda pulled on his buddy's arm, and Steve sighed.

"How is letting you go caring about you? I'm protecting you." I glared up at the older boy, hopping to burn a hole through his curly locks.

"You're really starting to scare me, Steve. You never once gave a shit about me and now what? You want to protect me? Well I got news for you. I've been getting along fine for the past three years. Hell, even when Dally was alive I was protecting myself. So don't try to be this knight in shiny armor, 'cause I save myself."

His arms dropped to his sides, and I took a swift step back. The man turned sharply away from me, and moved towards the couch where he crashed face down. I turned to Soda, who had a thoughtful look in his usually care-free eyes. "Dusty, I know you don't want to, but can you please stay the night? I'd feel a whole lot better." I gave him a crooked smile and took a step back where I was.

"Yeah, I guess I can. It's not like I told Tim I would sleep over at his joint." I stretched my arms over my head, smirking at the memories of being sprawled passed-out drunk on the floor of the Curtis living room from when I usually crashed at their place. "So where do you want to crash me, the floor?" Soda shrugged and started to move towards his and Ponyboy's room.

"Sure. Come in with me for a minute, though. If we talk out there we'll wake up Steve." I snorted at this, since it was obvious Steve wasn't asleep by the way his shoulder blades were tense. I followed Sodapop into the room, which was decorated with t-shirts and jeans. I even saw a pair of boxers hanging off the lamp.

"You're quite the decorator, Sodapop." I picked up the boxers and threw them at his face.

"Hey!" Soda rushed over and hung the checked under shorts from the lamp again. "These are one of a kind!" I laughed and shoved Soda, making him crash on the bed.

"That's sick."

'That's art!" We talked and joked for the rest of the night. It felt like I had not a care in the world. It felt like a time back when I was fourteen and young, where the only thing I worried about were the socs. It felt like the good old days.

But in my mind I knew the shitty now days were right behind the door, and I was going to have to face them with all I had.


	9. Concrete Shepard

**Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart, no matter how strong you are.**

**-anonymous**

**...**

My sneakers slapped against the pavement, echoing out into the deserted street as I clenched and unclenched my fist. She was gone in the morning; God knows where she was now. And, as every person in Tulsa eventually learns, Tim Shepard is the equivalent of God on the streets. So I had a pretty damn good guess where Dusty Winston was.

When I woke up this morning and didn't feel the small body next to me, I was nervous. I was nervous because I recalled every moment of my wild fantasy dream, and I did remember calling out her name. My first thought as I skimmed my hand over the cold spot next to me was, _"Oh God, she heard me."_ For some reason I didn't want to scare her away. Every other girl I had been with had been just a fuck, a tissue to use then throw away. But for some odd, and slightly frightening reason I didn't want to hurt the little Winston.

At first I blamed it on my fear of Dallas, but that excuse was quickly discarded when the tough hood took his last breath. When she left the first time I was more confused than I had been in my whole life, trying to put together why she packed her bags and left. Sure, she looked pathetic curled up in Curly's bed, but she was tough. She would of gotten through it.

Then she came back, and chose my door to knock on. I expected her to run to the Curtis house if she ever came back, and was even more confused then than when she left. But I let her stay, how could I tell her no? God, and when she left again. It was like going back to that night when Dal died. I could never face the fact she was gone after that. I cursed myself constantly for thinking about the black haired chick every day; for being haunted by her laugh, her smile, even her bitter cussing. One day I snapped, and jumped in a wired car to New York. Man, was she pissed when I threw her in the car. She cussed up a storm, slapping me and throwing an occasional punch. But I didn't unlock the doors and let her go. Because I couldn't stand the thought of losing her. Again.

Now I have no excuse, no reason why I wanted to be with Dusty. But I didn't need one, not at this point. I was a legend, I was a God, I was Tim Shepard. And I wanted Dusty Winston to be my Goddess. And God always got what he wanted.

I knocked once on the door, peering inside to see three figures sitting on the cough and one slumped over in the chair. Another figure ran out of the kitchen and swung open the door, startled to see a gang leader on his door mat.

"Tim! What are you doing here?" The Curtis brother stared up at me with a startled expression.

"Is she here?" I think his name was Horseboy, or some crazy shit like that.

"Who?" I pushed past the boy and stepped inside, taking in the faces that crowded in the living area. Matthews was the one slumped over in the chair, beer bottle dangling from his hand. Randle was positioned on the right side of the couch, supporting his head on his hand. One of the other Curtis', the really good looking one, was on the left side, pressing a mess of black hair into his chest with his eyes closed. A flame sparked into me, and I clenched my fist again.

"Curtis, what are you doing with your arm around me girl?" The boy jumped, and Dusty jerked away , staring up at me with dazed and confused eyes.

"Chill man." He held up his hands and smiled. "It's not like that." Dusty stretched out and smiled.

"Yeah, he's _my_ whore." The boy boxed her on her ears, and she pounced.

"Take that back!" He gasped under her weight.

"I don't think you're in the position to tell me what to do." He flipped her on her back wit ease, pinning her arms and making her thrash in anger. He laughed and leaned up to sit on her stomach.

"Say uncle!"

"You son if a bitch! Let me go!"

"Not until you say uncle."

"Fuck off!"

"Such language from a lady." She snarled at him but stopped thrashing.

"Fine. Uncle." He stood and walked into the kitchen, turning his head as he went to call back to me.

"Do you want some coffee, Tim?"

"Yeah, coffee's fine." I never let my gaze travel from the sullen Dusty. She truly did look adorable when she pouted. I quickly slapped myself (mentally). Tim Shepard does not use the word adorable. Sexy yes, hot yes, but never adorable.

"You look mad." She said, standing. I crossed my hands over my chest and glared down at the chick.

"Where were you this morning?"

"Here."

"Why?" She shrugged and moved closer to me, brushing against the hairs on my arm until it drove me insane.

"I don't know." I sat on the couch to escape the light touch, alarmed by the sudden swelling in my chest and the hot sting behind my eyes that it caused. Dusty sighed and started to move towards the kitchen. My hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, yanking her down into my lap. She made a small noise as she crashed against the rough material of my jeans. I smiled and kissed her jaw, sucking in the Winston sent that I grew to recognize. She wrapped her arms around my neck hesitantly, staring at me with testing blue eyes. I smirked and wrapped my own arms around Dusty's waist, pulling her closer. She seemed reassured by that, and nestled down. The smaller Curtis cast a glare over at us, his knuckles turning white from gripping the chair. That's when I remembered. Horseboy was the guy Dusty fucked the day she left.

I suddenly gripped Dusty harder, returning the glare the macho man shot at us.

"_Watch it, man." _I thought, then noticed the size of his arms. _"Watch it boy."_ I looked up at Dusty to see if she noticed, but her eyes were too entranced in my dark curls to notice the Horseboy. I moved my head up to catch her mouth, grasping onto her bottom lip. She easily sunk in my grasp, slowly moving down so she could grip my hair more easily. I hated it when broads yanked a my hair, their long nails scrapping against my scalp as they forced their lips on mine. When Dusty tugged desperately on my head; I loved it. Someone cleared his throat, and Dusty shoved against my chest with such force that I almost feel off the couch.

"Here's you coffee, Tim." The Middle Curtis brother thrust a cup of bubbling black liquid under my nose. I take it and gulp it down, slowly trailing my eyes back to Dusty's tomato red face. I laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"So, you boys had a god night?"

"Yeah." Randle huffed next to me. "Until someone cried wolf." I heard the middle Curtis snicker uncontrollably, and suddenly Dusty lunged over me, crashing into the startled Randle.

"Shut up." She growled. Randle laughed and pushed her away and onto the floor, a satisfy smirk on his face.

"Sure. What ever you say, Ms. Chastity." I stood and wrapped an arm around her chest, pulling her slightly back from the smirking boy.

"Don't go off and be a hypocrite, Steve. We all know you ain't no saint." Dusty turned to glare at Horseboy.

"I can defend myself, Ponyboy." Oh, woops.

"Yeah, with your fist. Ever tried using words?"

"Well excuse me, but not all of us can have the brilliant mind of Ponyboy Curtis." Ponyboy flinched as Dusty turned away, running to the door. I lunged after her, but stopped when I heard steady breathing behind me.

"You can go fuck yourself, 'cause she's not going to do it for you." I growled at the youngest Curtis, sending him reeling back and blinking. I turned back and continued to run after her. She suddenly stopped under a street lamp, her left hand covering her eyes as she drooped her head. "Hey," I pulled her chin up towards my face, expecting to wipe away tears with my thumb. But there where no tears. Only angry, ice blue eyes.

"I can't stand the way he's been acting." She mumbled, pressing her body against mine. "I shouldn't of taken off last night."

"Hmm." I hummed, tracing my thumb over her soft, angelic lips. Angelic…God, what's happening to me? She beat me to it, standing on her toes to press her lips against mine, taking my other hand and intertwining them in mine. I had to back up against the pole, feeling my knees shake as Dusty traced her small tongue across my top lip. I wrapped my arms around her form, pulling her closer to attack her own lips. I didn't notice much, but I thought I saw a flash of rusty brown hair and greenish grey eyes across the street, staring in disbelief. I didn't notice 'cause I didn't care; I didn't care 'cause I had her in my arms. The being that sent cracks through me, slowly causing my chest to slowly fall open as her lips warmed mine.

I guess it was happening. I guess that the street God Tim Shepard was falling apart.

...

**I think someone's falling in l-o-v-e!**

**Okay, so I told myself I would lay off this fic and focus on my others, but in truth I'm addicted to it. Sunlight on a Shadow is exactly my brand of heroin. So I'll try to stop myself after this, but will most likely fail. Oh well, I'll try to produce something for "Falling for Joni Matthews" (does anyone actually read that?), my escape from the frantic life of Dusty. Anyway, reviews are always apreciated. Keep on reading!**


	10. Once a Shadow, Always a Shadow

I pulled away from Tim after a while, licking my lips as he leaned off the pole

I pulled away from Tim after a while, licking my lips as he leaned off the pole. His dark blue eyes stayed locked with my own, never once trailing off as I slowly turned and started to walk. He soon fell into step next to me, hovering to the point were I could feel his hot breath on my sticky neck.

"And where do you think you're going?" He growled, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me roughly towards his chest.

"I don't know. I'll think of something though."

"You can stay with me." I laughed and slid his hands away from me.

"Don't you have gang shit or something to take care of?" Tim shrugged and started walking again.

"Yeah, but I can skip out if I want to. I am the leader." I rolled my eyes at the cocky town in his voice and flipped my hair behind my shoulders.

"Oh, big man." I bumped my hips against his playfully and smirked. "Should I be scared of you?"

"Terrified." Her growled and lunged towards me, causing me to shriek as he squeezed my breath out.

"Tim! Ow! Damn it, Shepard, let me go!" He only laughed against my ear.

"Not until you say you're scared." I howled in protest and thrashed around, trying to get away from Tim's steel bound arms. A sudden roar of a motorcycle made me pause, and I looked up to see a familiar figure stalk over.

"Is there a problem here, Dusty?" I looked up at Tim, whose expression was unreadable. Then I turned back to the Motorcycle Boy.

"Na. We're just playing around." I tried to move away again, but Tim held me close and refused to budge. I glared up at him and stood on my toes to whisper in his ear. "You asshole! Let me go before he pumbles you!" Tim only smiled dangerously and pressed his lips against my ear.

"Now that would be a sight. Have you ever heard of Tim Shepard losing a fight?" I squirmed and whispered back.

"Yeah, well he's not exactly loser of the year."

"Shepard, let her go."

"She wants to stay." He said simply, kissing the corners of my mouth to prove his point. The Motorcycle Boy stiffened for a moment, then clenched his fist and lifted his chin.

"Really? Looks like she's trying to get away." I huffed with irritation and dug my nails into Tim's skin.

"_She's _right here! Why don't you ask?" Tim sighed and slipped his arms down, examining the marks I made in his arm.

"Damn, Winston. You're going to tear me up." I shrugged and looked at the red marks, feeling slightly guilty.

"You weren't letting up. I had to do something." Tim smiled and shook his head, wrapping and arm around my shoulder.

"Uh huh. So about today…"

"She's coming with me." Both me and Tim shot our eyes in the direction of the Rusty-headed gang leader, shocked by the words that tumbled out of his mouth.

"What?"

"You heard me. Dusty's staying with me for the day."

"That's for me to say, not yours." I growled, pushing Tim's arm away and walking up to the Motorcycle Boy. "Who do you think you are, anyway?" He started smiling that crazy smile I couldn't stand.

"I'm the Motorcycle Boy." He said simply. "That's who I am. But who are you, Dusty?" I froze at his words, and felt my eye twitch. "Are you the girl friend, the tomboy that every guy wants to hang with?" He started to circle me, and I clenched me fist. "Or are you the local sex toy, that every guy wants to fuck?" I growled at this, but couldn't bring myself to glare into the boy's eyes. But suddenly a strong force jerked my chin up, forcing me to stare into two all seeing grey saucers. "Or are you still trying to be your brother? Are you still Dallas Winston's shadow, Dusty? 'Cause I think you are."

"Stop it." I whispered. I didn't know weather to cry or punch the Motorcycle Boy, so I just stared down."

"That's what you always were, and what you will always be. Just a shadow." I yelped and lunged for the boy, knocking him down with the force of my weight.

"I am not Dallas' shadow! I'm not Dally!"

"Then stop trying to be!" I shot my fist out and caught him in the jaw, trembling with anger and fear. He looked at me with a shocked expression, and lifted his fingers to trail over the red splotch that was starting to form beside his lips. He brought his long arm back and backhanded me right over my nose, causing squirts of red to fly beside the milky white of his skin.

"I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch!" I held my hand up sharply towards Tim, who was stalking up towards The Motorcycle Boy with a crazed look in his eyes.

"No! This is my fight." I told him in a harsh whisper. I felt something warm slide down my nose and over my mouth as I walked to stand between the two men. "Stand down." Tim looked at me for a moment, then glared back at The Motorcycle Boy.

"What ever she leaves, I'll finish it off." I shoved him away and faced the man in front of me, clenching my fist as he pulled a light out of his pocket.

"Take all that back." I snarled. He only shrugged and looked over my shoulder.

"Why would I do that? It's the truth." I knocked the cigarette out of his hand and shoved him backward.

"Take it back our I'll kick your ass!" He laughed a cold laugh, shoving me back and stomping out the light I had thrown out of his hands a moment before.

"Kick my ass? I'll just kick yours before you can lift your foot. Besides, I don't want to fight you. Go on to your boyfriend; and forget."

"I'll never forget!" I screamed.

"Yeah," He said softly. "I got that." He lifted his hand and actually dared to stroke my cheek with the same hand that had ripped across my face. "I got that as soon as I saw that look in your brother's eyes."

"What…" I was about to call him out, but choked on my words as he pressed one finger against my lips.

"You'll never forget, Dusty. 'Cause you'll never let go of him." He turned on his heel; hopped on his bike; and drove down the road until his glorious red hair blended with the blazing sun.

"Dusty…" I wiped the blood away with the back of my arm and walked towards Tim, suddenly longing for those muscular arms to surround me.

"I'm fine." I whispered, telling my legs to walk past the hood. They didn't comply, and stopped right In front of Tim. "I'm…" I choked on my words again as a shudder erupted through my body, shaking me until I had to lean against the light pole.

"Not fine." Tim finished for me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Do you want me to walk you back to the Curtis'?" I shook my head and leaned into Tim, suddenly not caring who or what saw me getting soft.

"No." I felt Tim's chest stiffen under my head, but he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I sighed with relief, wrapping m own arms around his waist.

"All right, I'll take you home."

xXx

It was only one in the afternoon, but I still felt my eyelids grow heavy as I buried my face into the white pillow. Tim was laying next to me, supporting himself on one arm while staring at me with those dark blue eyes.

"You don't have to stay here." He Shrugged and moved his hand, making his head plop down next to mine.

"Na, I have to sleep anyway." I had a sneaking suspicion that that wasn't why he wanted to stay, but I didn't say anything. Instead I closed my eyes and welcomed the inclosing blackness; glad to make up for the hours of sleep I had lost talking to Sodapop. "Dusty?" I didn't answer. Suddenly I felt a warm chest against mine, and hot wet lips on my cheek. I shot my eyes open, and stared up with surprise into Tim's shocked eyes. He jerked away and turned his back to me. "I thought you were asleep." He grumbled. I laid there for a minute, thinking about the affectionate jester that Tim gave me. I bit my lip as a realization came over me.

I wasn't just a fuck. I wasn't just a dumb broad to Tim; I was something much more, something much deeper. Surprisingly, relief hit me like a fret train. Because Tim was more than just a toy to me; he was…

My Tim Shepard.

I shook my head. I thought I had learned this lesson, but obviously not. I was so stupid; to go fall in love again. And if anyone was capable of breaking me to shards; it was the hard gang leader next to me. But I wanted him. More than I wanted Curly, more than I wanted Mark, more than I wanted the Motorcycle Boy, and even more than I wanted Ponyboy. And I put my faith in that one little kiss as I molded my body into Tim's back, pressing my lips against the back of his neck.

"What…" Tim turned to face me with a confused expression on his face, and for one second I was scared that I had made the wrong move. I shrugged and smiled awkwardly.

"I thought you were asleep." Tim paused for a second; but then barked a laugh that made my smile natural.

"Yeah." He ran a hand through my tangled hair, then leaned down and kissed me. "You look like shit. Sleep."

"You're not my brother." I mumbled, recalling a flash of bleach blond hair and blue eyes for the second time that day.

"I'm not trying to be. Look, I'm sorry about today, about what he said…"

"Not your fault." I mumbled again, suddenly becoming stiff at the harsh memory of The Motorcycle Boy's words.

"It's just, Christ, you look a whole lot like him when you stare at people, and sometimes it seems like you don't even try. But others…well, sometimes you try an awful lot." He paused and tensed; probably expecting me to start screaming or to start hitting him. I only took a quavering breath and shut my eyes, remembering all the times I tried to be like Dally; tried to walk like him; tried to talk like him; tried to love like him. I succeeded in two of the things, and all ways have. But there was no way I could will myself to be cold. I tried; God, every damn person knows I tried. But the fact is, I suck at not caring.

"I know."

"I understand." I shook my head.

"You'll never understand. You're the older one. Curly understands, Rusty-James understands, hell, I think even Ponyboy understands."

"Who the hell is Rusty-James?"

"The Motorcycle Boy's brother! The point is, no older brother can ever understand why we try to look up to you; to stick up for you when you're being an asshole to the whole world, but no one ever listens to you." I took another shuddering breath and looked Tim right in the eyes. "You'll never know what it's like to be a shadow." He didn't say anything; only wrapped his arms around me as I closed my eyes and gave into much needed sleep. But not before I brought the Motorcycle Boy's horrible question forward in my mind.

"_Are you still Dallas Winston's shadow, Dusty?" _

The answer almost brought tears to my eyes.


	11. What Can Happen Over a Shower and Cake

I was up, walking away from the warm bed and to the bathroom down the hall

I was up, walking away from the warm bed and to the bathroom down the hall. Tim was still sleeping, passed out cold while tangled in the dirty white sheets. It's funny how innocent someone as dangerous as Tim Shepard can look in their sleep. I remembered watching Dally sleep; I remembered thinking he was innocent too. Funny how sleep can mask what a person really is.

In the bathroom I stared into the grime covered mirror, examining my reflection. It's also funny how time ages you. I remembered three years ago when my face used to be round and child-like, filled with innocence that didn't exist even in the shadow that fell under my eyes. But there was no roundness; no innocence. The sharp planes slashing across my face proved that I had grown up. They also proved that I was a Winston. I didn't know if I should frown or smile at my high, elfish cheekbones that reminded me of my brother. Instead of making up my mind I turned away from the mirror, and switched on the water facet in the bath. I really needed a shower.

As the hot water sprayed across my face, I heard the door swing open and scowled. "Someone's already in the bathroom, asshole."

"I gotta piss, and you're taking forever." I rolled my eyes at Tim, even though he couldn't see me.

"Then use a bush."

"Shut up, I can't concentrate while you're going at me." I pressed my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.

"You need to concentrate to piss?"

"Damn it, woman! I said shut up!" I stayed quiet as he did his business, focusing instead on rubbing myself down with the slick old bar of soap. When I heard the toilet flush, I decided to go at it again.

"You know, after our first little sleepover I always took you as a morning person." The sink started to run as Tim washed his hands.

"Yeah, but then I had a very surprised and sexy girl in my bed. Today I woke up with no one." I snorted and moved the shower curtain back just enough to stick my head out.

"I didn't know you were lonely Shepard." Tim flicked his head in my direction, a slightly irritated look on his face. I took in the sight of him; no shirt; jeans still unbuttoned from his relief; hair all rumpled from sleep.

"Don't waste all the water, or I'll just have to join you while it's still hot." I threw the curtain back into its place.

"Ha! That would be the day."

"What are you saying?" I smirked at the growl that came on the other side of the curtain, thinking of how pissed off Tim was looking right now.

"I'm saying that you don't have the balls to come in here." I smiled in satisfaction at the silence, closing my eyes and lifting my head to the warm blast. It was wonderful, basking in triumph and warmth and… "Fuck!" And the intruding eyes of Tim Shepard as he yanked back the shower curtain, stepping inside while I was still pressed against the cool tile, frozen in a mix of shock and terror.

"Fuck indeed." Tim's dark blue eyes ran up and down my body, not a hint of modestly camping out in the corners of his dark irises. I suddenly snapped out of my frozen state, jumping off the wall and to the refuge of the curtain in one fluid motion. Before I could yank it back though, two strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back under the spray. "Whoa, there. Relax; I'm not going to do anything."

"Yeah, you already scared me shitless, what else can you do?" He chucked against my ear as he pulled me to his chest, keeping his hands on my stomach. I was almost surprised that his hands didn't venture north or south, but stayed on the neutral ground of my belly button.

"Sorry, but you shouldn't put down bets when you can't pay the debt."

"I'm paying the debt now, aren't I?" Tim sighed and grabbed the bar of soap out of my hands, and let go of my waist.

"You don't like this?" I turned around and looked up into his dark blue irises, and became lost like I always do.

"Shit, I don't know." I grumbled and traced my hand down his chest, scowling at the scars. Tim snorted and pushed my hand away.

"If I don't get to touch, then you don't either. It's not like you're a virgin." I ignored the slap on my hand and brought it back to his chest.

"Make me, tough guy. And you're not exactly the pope either." Tim grabbed both of my arms and forced them to my sides, then drove me into the shower wall.

"Well I'm not the one who's all jumpy about taking a fucking shower! And damn it, stop touching me!" I glared up at him and wrenched away.

"Bastard." I said under my breath, stepping out of the shower while grabbing the nearest towel. "Fucking bastard. Selfish fucking bastard." I heard the water turn off, and the curtain was ripped open. Tim stepped out and towered above, me, splashing tiny droplets of water on me face.

"Are you going to keep mumbling, are you going to cuss me out to my face?"

"STUPID SELFISH MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD!!" I screamed right to his face, trembling with anger as Tim held his ground. I shoved him away, gripping angrily at the door and yanking it open while tearing down the hall way. I heard Tim follow, and started at it again. "It's always been fuck and then date for you, hasn't it? I should of known you wanted to get into my pants."

"For Christ's sake!" Tim growled behind me. "You're acting like a prude." I whirled around and stumbled into Tim, who had been following me in hot pursuit. I took a step back, not wanting to make any physical contact with him.

"Well, I'm not going to be a slut. I'm not going to me your little fuck toy until you grow tired of me and move on to the next. I'm not going to disgrace my brother's name." I turned into a room opposite of Tim's, and guessed it was Angela's.

"What the fuck are you doing now?" I frowned at the mix of clothes laid out on the floor, then went for a pair of red underwear.

"Borrowing clothes, dumbass." I flicked a glance across Angela's room, looking for a bra. I determined that the slut didn't wear one, and just grabbed a light blue blouse off her bed.

"Angel's going to kill you."

"I can kill her before she can whip out her claws, thanks for your concern."

"If you hurt her…" I threw down my towel and jerked down the shirt in irritation, and whirled around to glare at Tim.

"Yeah, I know. You'll probably get Curly and jump me. At least that's what you did the last time." I turned back to the business at hand, looking for a pair of decent bottoms. I had to live with a pair of tight black pants, and put them on before slipping into a pair of low-heeled red pumps.

"Your outfit doesn't really go with your vow not to be a slut." I glared up at Tim.

"Well, your sister's wardrobe doesn't leave a lot of options." I sneered and bumped my way past him; over to the door.

"Fine then, walk away bitch!" I whirled around to stare at Tim; I couldn't glare.

"Bye, Shepard." I ran out of the house; away from the startled look on Tim's face, away from the pain of the argument that still surged through my veins. I ran until my thighs quivered and Angela's blouse was ruined with my sweat. I keeled over the fence, fighting for breath that didn't seem to exist. When I was finally breathing, I recognized the pavement under me; the pavement that I had walked across a thousand times to escape to the refuge of friends. I looked up to the shutters of the Curtis house. What the hell, might as well get some chocolate therapy.

"Anybody home?" I closed the door and made my way through the house, searching for any signs of life.

"In the kitchen!" I froze when I recognized Ponyboy's voice. I finally decided that nothing else can fuck up my life past what it was, and continued into the kitchen.

"Surprise, bastard." I sulked in and scowled at Ponyboy's shocked expression. "Got any cake?" He gave me a little half smile and shoved plate towards me.

"One slice, we can share."

"More like I can gorge and you can starve." Ponyboy sighed and stabbed at the moist chocolate before shoving it into his mouth. I rolled my eyes and just tore a piece off.

"Dusty! Now you got your germs all over it."

"So sue me."

'What's wrong with you?" I slammed a hand on the counter and whipped around, giving Ponyboy a death stare that would of made him flinch three years ago. But the boy held his ground, and quickly mimicked my motion. "Fine! If that's the way you want to play, then let's play! What the fuck is your problem?!" I reeled back in shock, feeling like I had just been punched in the gut. I quickly recovered and shifted forward, meeting his cold grayish green eyes.

"Tim Shepard. Tim Shepard is my fucking problem. And you, and the Motorcycle Boy, hell, even Dally and he's dead!"

"Dusty…"

"You all expect me to be something I can't be. Tim wants me to be his little slut, you want me to be your future house wife, the Motorcycle Boy wants me to be a link to our side of the tracks, and Dallas wanted me to be a rotting corpse buried in the ground!"

"Dusty!" Suddenly I was crushed against Ponyboy's chest, his surprisingly strong arms holding me close. I would of struggled, but the warmth radiating from his chest felt nice, and felt really, really shitty. It was only when I turned me head and felt Ponyboy's wet shirt rub my cheek that I realized I was crying. "I can't speak for Tim, nor do I want to, but I don't want you to be my house, because you would do one hell of a shitty job. The Motorcycle Boy, can't really speak for him either. And Dally didn't want you dead, so you just shut your mouth!" I can't really say I was shocked by the passion in Ponyboy's voice; he was always like that. It disturbed me though.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered.

"Because I love you." He stated simply. "And I want you to be with me, always." I closed my eyes and drew a quivering breath.

"I remember when I wished you would say that to me."

"And now I am." I opened my eyes slowly, finding Ponyboy's lips dangerously close to my own. I didn't pull away, though. The warmth was too nice, the passion in his loving eyes to tempting. His hot breath tickled my lips as he lowered his head, then slowly pressed his lips against mine.

Only one word; and one word only rang through my head as our lips molded together.

"No." I pushed the former greaser away, breathing hard as the image of the bastard who held my heart flashed across my brain. "Tim." Ponyboy scowled.

"He hurt you, Dusty! God knows how, but it was enough to bring you here!"

"And you hurt me!" I screamed. "When I came back two years ago it was all for you. For you, Pony! And your turned on my as if I were last night's fuck for some pretty face."

"But I want you now." He said, no longer shouting. "I want you now more than anything." I shook my head and turned away from Ponyboy.

"It's been too long. I found someone else." Strong arms turned me back around and kissed me; hard. I always believed that I could put up a fight against the smallest Curtis, but I was quickly proven wrong as Ponyboy pinned me against the ice box, pressing his lips hungrily against mine.

"Any form of life present!" I nearly sighed in relief at the sound of Two-Bit's voice, an sucked in desperately for air as Ponyboy pulled reluctantly away from me.

"Do that again, and I'll tear your balls off!" I whispered harshly to Ponyboy as he shifted away. He only smirked.

"You wanted me to." I growled at him as Two-Bit staggered in, a beer clutched firmly in his hand. I rubbed my eyes at the sight and shook my head.

"Damn it, Two-Bit. It's not even twelve yet."

"Who are you, my mother?" He took a swig of the bottle and passed it to me. "You look like you can use a drink too. Is ol' Shepard's squeaky bed keeping you up at night?" I stared in horror and the cackling drunk and shoved him against the wall.

"Who the fuck told you?" Two-Bit rolled his eyes and took another sip.

"Girl, how the hell am I suppose to remember? When you're screwing a former gang leader everybody knows about it."

"I didn't screw him!" I screeched.

"Screw who?" I turned around and glared at the new voice. "Glory, Dusty! I didn't do nothing to piss you off." I tried to gain control over myself as I stared into the playful eyes of Sodapop; pushing aside all the anger that was ranging through me.

"Tim Shepard." Ponyboy spat bitterly. I worked hard not to get worked up by the comment. "She's screwing Tim Shepard."

"I. Am. Not. Fucking. Tim. Shepard." I said calmly, making sure each word was heard. Two-Bit held up his hands in surrender as Soda turned to give Ponyboy a stare that would be worse than a glare. Pony only scowled at the chocolate cake, refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"I feel like I'm at a funeral." Two-Bit exclaimed. "Hey, there's a party at Buck's tonight. Third one in four days. I think the bastard broke his record." I released my breath and leaned up against the counter. "Who will keep an old drunk company?" I raised my hand to volunteer and crashed it down onto Two-Bit's shoulder.

"The crazy bitch will."

"You don't count, since you were going to be there anyway. It's also Fred Corrgan's twentieth birthday. He's been in the Shepard gang since day one, so Tim's going to be there, and he will want his broad to show off."

"Fuck you too." I muttered.

"I'll go, and Steve will come even if I have to drag him." Soda offered at gave me an apologetic look.

"I'm coming, too." We all turned and raised our eyebrows at Ponyboy's sudden outburst.

"Don't think so, Kid." Soda said softly.

'Dusty gets to go." I glared at the whining boy for bringing me into his little rebellion.

"Dusty isn't my kid brother who has school in the morning."

"Oh, come off it Soda. The guy needs to get laid."

_So he can stop coming onto me._

Soda gave me the same stare he gave Ponyboy before; but threw up his hands in surrender. "What the hell, I can't stop him." I stared at Ponyboy, who instantly caught my gaze and held it tight. They hadn't changed since the kiss; still loving; still passionate. Enough to draw me over to his side like a magnet.

It only made me want Tim more.


	12. Is it over?

Inside Buck's, I started looking for Tim, even though I didn't want to

Inside Buck's, I started looking for Tim, even though I didn't want to. It was like my body had control over my brain. But I only saw the sweaty bodies of at least forty other persons; pushing and grinding up against hips and secluded body parts.

"I got a bet!" Two-Bit waved his hand and stumbled into Sodapop, who playfully shoved him back. "Who ever fucks the most chicks gets to…oh hell, boss the rest of us around 'till we drop dead!"

"We all know who would win that one." Steve snarled under his breath while staring with envy at his golden friend.

"Oh, don't be bitter Stevo. Good looks ain't all of it. You also gotta be charming." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, his stupid drunk grin getting close to my face. "Hey, honey. It sure is hot in here, ain't it? Wanna cool off upstairs?" I glared and shoved him into Steve.

"Shit, you're as drunk as a skunk!" Two-Bit made a low bow.

"And that's how it's done, gentlemen. Give a round of applause for my lovely assistant!" I lifted my eyes up to the supposed God, asking him why the fuck he made me come here.

"All right, we're all on." Soda spoke for the group of guys, then snaked away from the crowd towards a red head who was eyeballing his whole body. I turned away in disgust and walked away from the three other boys, who were all ready glancing around frantically (well, except for Ponyboy, who seemed over all uncomfortable about the situation). I pressed myself against a dark wall, away from all the madness. A twist formed in my gut as I saw all the couples sneak off into corners and up stairs, exchanging sloppy kisses. It made me think of Tim.

"Damn it." I hissed and closed my eyes, leaning my head up against the wall. I growled mentally at my weakness. It bothered me a good deal how I was taking the fight. Instead if throwing myself into the cold night and run until I cried, like I had done so many times before, I just felt empty.

It felt like I had nothing left of me whenever I thought of breaking things off with Tim. I'll be the first to admit it was pathetic. So I just stood there, my eyes closed, trying to picture Tim Shepard behind my dark eyelids.

Then two strong arms grabbed me around my waist, causing my eyes to snap open. I thrashed against the hairy cage, cursing and threatening as they pulled me further away from the crowd and deeper into darkness, until they threw me into a small space that I thought was a closet.

"Bastard!" I screamed and tried to get away again, but the arms pressed me up against the wall as I struggled.

"Calm down, Dusty. It's me." The single light bulb flicked on, and I came face to face with Tim. I shoved him hard against the chest, making him stumble back into a rack of coats.

"Jesus, Tim! You scared me half to death!" the gang leader quickly regained himself and stood tall, making sure to tower over me.

"I have to talk to you." I crossed my hands over my chest and nodded, waiting for him to continue. He sucked in a quick breath, and bowed his head, turning his eyes away from mine. "Are we….done?" Done. Over. Completely isolated from him forever. The thought felt worse than the memory of curly plunging the knife into my chest. I Inhaled and shuffled forward, wetting my dry lips as I opened them to speak.

"I don't want to be." His dark blue eyes flashed to mine, bearing into me until the intensity was too much to bear. I can't say who went to who; or if we charged each other at the same time. Our lips met in a hard kiss; each of us pressing against the other to gain dominance. Tim finally won when he slammed me against the door and pinned my arms above my head.

"You're still mine." He growled, licking my lips until I shivered. "All mine."

"I don't belong to…" I was silenced as Tim bit my lower lip, making all other thoughts disappear.

"What were you saying, darlin'?" I scowled as Tim smirked, clearly pleased with the effect he had on me.

"You're impossible." He rolled his eyes and played with the silver chain that hung around my neck, which held his glistening gold ring.

"That's what they tell me. So did you come here with any one?" I narrowed my eyes and glared at him accusingly.

"Did you?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I never took you for the jealous type. But yeah, I did." My jaw dropped as he played with my hair casually, as if he just mentioned the weather or something.

"What the _fuck_?"

"I mean, she's just for show. Everybody knows she's just a whore who won't last the night." I slapped his hand away and tore my wrist from his grasp.

"And who's this she?"

"Uh, Evie." He mumbled and stared down at his shoes. Again, I could only stare at him in disbelief.

"What the fuck, Shepard!" I screamed. "You know she hates my fucking guts." Tim grabbed my arms and pressed them into my side.

"I know. But I thought you'd be itchin' to make me feel like shit, so I thought I'd come prepared." I cuffed his head while I shook mine; still not believing Tom had been desperate enough to chase after_ that_ piece of trash.

"You got no brains up there, boy. Now I'm going back to the party. Are you coming with me?"

"'Course I am!" Tim swung the door open and pushed me back into the mayhem of the bodies, keeping one hand secured on my shoulder as I weaved through the crowd. I finally parked at the bar, where Tim sat next to me without a word.

"Hey Winston! When we made the bet, you weren't apart of it!" I turned and glared at Sodapop, who had two blonds draped over his arms. I flicked him off and turned back to Tim, who was staring down at me with a startled expression.

"What the hell was that about?" I shrugged and grabbed a beer.

"Nothing. My idiotic friends made this bet on who can sleep with the most girls." Tim raised his eyebrows and took a swig from my beer.

"You know I told you so."

"What?"

"I told you all boys were horny." I rolled my eyes and shoved him.

"Shut up." Tim adjusted himself on the stool, but not before he looked behind me and turned back swiftly.

"Hey Dusty?"

"What?"

"You said you didn't come here with anyone, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Then why is Curtis glaring over at us?" I turned my head slightly to stare at Ponyboy, who was indeed glaring in our direction. I shook my head and tangled my fingers in Tim's hair.

"He's just jealous. He'll get over it." I leaned an inch forward and captured Tim's lips, which were smiling under mine. When I pulled away for air, He grabbed my wrist and tugged me towards the stairs.

"Come on." I followed him with out a second thought. But as we went up to the second floor, Tim in the lead, I swear I could feel Ponyboy's eyes burning a whole into my back with his sharp gaze.


	13. Mr Brightside

**I have a little poll on my profile that I would appreciate you guys to do. It'll only take about two seconds; and I'm really curious about what you guys think. Any who, here's some Ponyboy anguish for you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders or Mr. Brightside by the Killers (one of my favorite songs!)**

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_**Coming out of my cage **_

_**And I've been doin' just fine**_

_**Gotta gotta get down because I want it all**_

_**Started out with a kiss how did it end up like this?**_

_**It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss**_

There she was; following Shepard up the stairs like a common slut. This wasn't like her; to submit to someone's will without a fight. It was always done Dusty's way; or it wouldn't be done at all. I didn't understand why she was so willing to throw her morals away for the infamous hood.

"So Ponyboy, how far up are you?" I jerked my eyes from Dusty and to my brother, who was grinning lazily while leaning against the wall next to me.

"Zero." I muttered bitterly and allowed my eyes to trail back towards the girl climbing up the stairs. I heard Sodapop sigh beside me, but I didn't let my gaze wonder away.

"Ponyboy, you have to forget about her." She finally stopped around a corner, forcing me to lift my gaze.

"Easy for you to say. Remember when Sandy went to Florida?" Soda flinched at the memory, but held his gaze with me.

"I got over that. And you need to get over this. I know it's only been a week or so, but the sooner you let it go, the better." I groaned and placed my head on my hands, shaking it back and forth.

_**Now I'm falling asleep**_

_**And she's calling a cab**_

_**While he's having and smoke**_

_**And she's taking a drag**_

"I should of never fallen for Cathy." Soda sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder, locking his deep blue eyes with my greenish grey ones.

"Well you did. You're going to make mistakes Pony. You gotta learn to live with them." I shook my head and turned my head away, my heart constricting painfully at the thought of letting her go. And to _him_.

"And of all people, Tim Shepard." I grumbled. Soda shrugged and grabbed a beer from a passing guy with three.

"Why not? They're two of a kind. You and Dusty wouldn't of made it, anyway. You're too different."

"But that's why we would be closer!"

"Your wrong, Pony." He drained half his beer and pushed it too me. "Finish it. You need it." I sighed but took the beer, agreeing with my brother that I indeed needed a drink. She was now turning the corner; almost disappearing out of sight and into the dark confined all way.

_**Now they're going to bed**_

_**And my stomach is sick**_

_**And it's all in my head but she's touching his chest now**_

_**He takes off her dress now**_

_**Let me go**_

It hurt. It hurt more than a punch to the gut; it hurt more than the slice of a blade. And the sick part was that I was willing to take it; to take it all if it meant I would ever have a chance with her again. But deep down, I knew I never would. Because my stupid hormones kept me chasing girls in all directions; ignoring my mind as it screamed for my body to remember Dusty. But fifteen year old boys wait for no one. But seventeen year old boys do. The problem is; I made her wait too long. And now she was willing to be lead into a dark room for an hour with Tim Shepard. Stupid, fucking Tim Shepard. I forced my self to watch her being jerked into the room; then turned away before the wood slammed shut.

_**And I just can't look**_

_**It's killing me**_

_**And taking control**_

There's only so much a guy can take. And this was definitely exceeding the limits. Sodapop was right. I had to let her go. She's a big girl; she can make her own decisions. But why was there a feeling in my gut that she was making the wrong ones? It was like watching your best buddy on heroin. You slowly watch the light of life flicker to nothing under the power of the needle and powder; until he's nothing. Dead. And there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. While Tim wasn't exactly destroying Dusty like a drug would; he was changing her.

A lot of chicks say that once you date a leader; you never go back to the way you were. Dating someone with authority changed you. It made you realize that life ain't all sunshine and rainbows; that even powerful figures have shitty times. The reality made you grow up. It made your gold streak fade away. And I could see it dissolve in Dusty faster than the time it took Johnny to die. It made me sick. If she were with me she would still be "gold". She would still be light and carefree; and not a love sick girl chasing after a dark gang leader as if her were a juicy piece of meat.

"Hello, Ponyboy." I turned my head in confusion to stare at the feminine voice. I was more than shocked to see Angela Shepard staring up at me with dark brown eyes; never once blinking her thick lashes. "You look like you can use a little fun." I sighed and shook my head.

"Not interested, Angela. Sorry." The girl stood there after my rejection; both hands placed on her hips as she cocked her head to the side.

"You're pathetic, you know that? You let her treat you like shit. She doesn't even give a damn about you and all you can do is run after her!" I pressed up against the wall in surprise at the girl's full front attack. "And don't look like you don't know what I'm talking about!" I slumped my shoulders and shrugged, feeling defeated.

"What do you want from me, Angel?" The dark haired girl smiled with a glint of evil in her eye, and sauntered up to my side.

"I think you know exactly what I want, Ponyboy. You need to forget about that Winston whore, and I need a boy friend before my ex comes around; trying to get me back. You're a smart boy…figure it out."

"Dusty's not a whore." I snapped. "And I don't think I'll ever go out with you. Especially after what you did to Mark Jennings. You call me pathetic, but you sent some guy out to kill me!"

"I was fifteen!" Angela cried out in exasperation. "I was young, okay? I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Yeah." I snorted. "What ever."

"Fine." She huffed and started to walk away, but then turned around slowly. "You know, I don't think I want you either. All you would do is moan on about the Winston whore until my ears fell off."

"She's not…" But she started to talk before I could finish.

"And she would be thinking about my brother whenever you fucked her. Face the facts, Ponyboy. She doesn't love you; and never will."

"Shut up!" She smiled and nodded her head; as if she just made one of her points clear before disappearing into the crowd. I clenched my fist; feeling the rare need to hurt something creep into my brain. Envy was one of the most overpowering emotions I ever felt.

_**Jealousy**_

_**Turning saints into the sea**_

_**Swimming through sick lullabies **_

_**Choking on you alibis **_

_**but it's just the price I pay**_

_**Destiny is calling me**_

_**Open up my eager eyes**_

'_**Cause I'm Mr. Brightside**_

_**- Mr. Brightside**_

_The Killers_


	14. Mr Perfect

"What are you thinking

"What are you thinking?" I twisted my head to gaze into Tim Shepard's navy blue eyes. I sighed and took the cigarette out of his hand and stuck it into my own mouth.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"Ow." Tim gave me a confused look before he took the cancer stick back.

"What the hell does that mean?" I wished I hadn't said it now. It made me seem like such a baby.

"Well," I shifted under the sheets so my elbow was on the single pillow, and my head was resting on my head. "You're kind of, uh, big." Tim gave me one last confused look; but it disappeared as he started bursting out laughing. I glared down at him before I huffed and turned away from him; facing the blank wall.

"Aw, come on babe. I didn't mean to laugh." He tugged at my shoulder; trying to make me roll over. But I was too embarrassed to look him in the eye. Sure, I wasn't a slut and didn't sleep around; but it almost seemed like I was a prude. I grimaced at the knowledge that I was so inexperienced. "Dusty?"

"Hmph." I decided it was better to act pissed than to act embarrassed. Tim sighed beside me and threw the covers off his body before getting out of the bed. I closed my eyes and wondered if I had blew it…again. Suddenly a set of strong arms were around my waist, pulling me out of the bed. I yelped as my eyes flew open in bewilderment. Tim laughed as he swung me around and over his shoulder; clearly pleased with himself. "Put me down, jackass!" I hissed and squirmed in his grasp, which only encouraged him.

"Now why would I do that?" I let out a cry of frustration grabbed a fist full of his dark curls, tugging on it until Tim growled and threw me onto the bed. "You're being a bad girl." He pounced on top of me and lowered his lips to mine. "How should I punish you?" I grunted and pressed against Tim's bear chest; determined to get him off.

"Think about it while I figure out what time it is."

"It's three. Now Get back on the damn bed." I glowered at the gang leader and slipped into my clothes with a surprising speed.

"I gotta tell my ride I'm staying here." Tim gave an irritated sigh and crashed back onto the bed.

"Fine, but be quick about it."

"Don't get pushy. I'll take all the damn time I want." He said nothing as I walked out the door. I slammed it shut and took the steps two at a time, scanning the dispersing crowd for one of the Curtis boys. I grumbled all the cuss words I knew as I was forced into the crowd, pushing away sweaty bodies until I slammed into a familiar chest. "Steve?"

"Winston!" He slurred; obviously drunk; and collapsed into me. "I won. Five girls, hehe."

"Your drunk." I said dully.

"No poop!"lughed like a maniac and tried to pull me down to the floor. "Come on, be my number six." I jerked my arm away in horror and shock. How drunk was Steve?

you on the floor is the day Dally is raised from the dead." I suddenly remembered why I had even come down to the party. "Tell Soda I'm staying here, okay?" Steve only looked up at me with a confused expression.

"Huh?"

"Steve! What the hell are you doing on the floor? Dusty, where have you been?!" Soda came trotting up; clearly irritated.

"I was upstairs. I'm going to stay here the rest of the night." Sodapop lifted one eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"And why should I let you?"

"Oh, fuck off. You're not my brother." Soda opened his mouth to protest, but I already moved out of his grasp and started climbing the stairs. I wasn't in the mood to argue, and for some insane reason I was missing Tim's warm chest. I reached the top of the steps and turned into the room. But Tim wasn't there. "What the hell, Tim?" I grumbled and closed the door. Just as the lock clicked shut, dead weight barreled into my side.

"Miss me, honey?" Tim ginned over me while pinning me down. I thrashed under his iron grip and growled.

"You're an asshole. Let me go!"

"Fine." Tim shot up and sat on the bed; raising his eyebrows. "Now what are you going to do? Run out on me?" My bare feet pounded against the wood as I charged at Tim's form. Within two seconds I knocked him down onto the mattress; straddling him as he resisted. "Ugh. Bitch."

"That's what they call me." I leaned down and bit his lower lip. Tim grunted and flipped us over while tearing at my shirt. "Horny much?" I grumbled as he threw the shirt somewhere in the room.

"Shut up and kiss me." I snorted but did as he said. It was unlike me to just give in to what others told me. But with Tim…it was just natural. You could do what he told you to do and you would hardly notice. And with his bare chest pressed against mine and wet lips trailing down my neck; I couldn't notice a damn thing.

**xXx**

I woke up with the bed beside me empty. I guessed that Tim was in the shower or getting something to eat; and dressed into some old clothes I found in the closet. Their was a blue skirt that rose four inches above my knee and a yellow sweater that cut lower than I would of liked; but it would have to do. I also decided to keep Angela's shoes, just to piss her off.

My feet were bringing me to the bathroom; where indeed the shower was running. I almost opened the door; but then decided against it. Who knew what other drunk hoods stumbled into the extra rooms lined up at Buck's? So I just headed downstairs. I was surprised to find Buck leaning up against his make-shift bar; shoveling eggs into his mouth as if it was his last meal.

"Mornin' Got any more where that came from?" I slid onto a stool as he lifted one eye to me while the other stayed on his breakfast.

"Don't you dare touch my fucking eggs." Buck grumbled and stuck the last bite in his mouth before throwing the plate into a pile of dirty glasses. "Now what the hell do you want?" I ignored his crabby remark and looked around the party house.

"You know, you could turn this into a bar; or a club or something. It would give you good money."

"Yeah? And how do you think I'll ,manage it? I don't know shit."

"Oh come on. You have to know some one with brains."

"Ha, funny. Do you have anything else to say, are you just going to annoy me like you've done since you were twelve?"

"Eleven." I corrected him, smiling as I remembered the first time I had sauntered into the party house. I didn't get to see much; since Dally just locked me up in a room while his fifteen year old self screwed around. "And I'm not too bad. See you around, Merrill."

"Yeah, Dal's old room is growing mold. Make us of it sometime."

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled and moved out the door; and sighed as the summer heat flooded over me. I instantly rolled up my sleeves to my elbows and started down the sidewalk. I guessed the Curtis house was the best place to pick up breakfast; but I was a little hesitant. Was Soda mad at me? I had never cussed him out before (at least of what I remembered... god knows what I say when I'm drunk) and Ponyboy must be pretty pissed. I shrugged my paranoia away and thought fuck 'em, they'll deal.

"Hey, any food here?!" I swung the door open and hopped inside, sniffing the air.

"Depends whose asking." I frowned slightly at the sound of Sodapop's voice and moved into kitchen.

"The bitch from last night is asking."

"Then no, we're out."

"Aw, come on Curtis." I walked over the middle brother and wrapped my arms around his waist; the top of my head touching his shoulder blade. "I'm sorry I pissed you off." He shrugged me off and moved the pan away from the stove. I took a step back and shook my head. "This isn't just about me telling you to fuck off, is it?" Soda didn't say anything. He only turned and stared at me with those soul filled blue eyes. I took two steps forward and placed my hand on the counter, returning his intense gaze. "Come on, Soda. What did I do?"

"You treat him like shit."

"Excuse me?"

"All of 'em. You treat them all like shit." I furrowed me eyebrows and shook my head again; more confused than ever.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Soda stared at me again for one long second, then shook his head.

"Forget it. They can tell you."

"Damn it, Soda! Just tell me what the fuck you're talking about." He rolled his eyes and flopped pancakes of a pinkish hue onto a plate.

"You curse too much. You really need to start hanging around some girls."

"They all hate me and don't have mouths any better than mine. And don't you go and try to change the damn subject." I followed the groaning Curtis to the table and plopped down next to him as he started to inhale the pink pancakes.

"Mornin' Soda. Ugh, pink pancakes again?" I turned my head to see Ponyboy slump in; his auburn hair rumpled from sleep. Soda shrugged and took another bite. He moved towards the fridge and took out a carton of chocolate milk; taking a swig.

"That's disgusting." Ponyboy kept staring at the wall and took another drink. It wasn't until I cleared my throat to get his attention that I figured out he was ignoring me. Then I laughed. When Ponyboy didn't turn his head then I stood and walked over to his side; hopping up on the counter as he started up his own eggs. "Don't you think that's a little immature, Pony?" He just stared down at the white yolks as they bubbled from the heat. "Ponyboy…" I reached out my hand to touch his shoulder.

"Fuck off. Better yet, go fuck Tim Shepard. I know you had fun doing it last night." I dropped my jaw and watched Ponyboy walk out of the kitchen; fuming. "I'm taking a shower." He grumbled to Soda before I hopped off the counter and grabbed his wrist.

"I don't think so, asshole! Do you honestly think you can get away with saying that?"

"'Course I can. It's the truth." I shoved his chest and glared at my ex…my ex whatever the hell he was.

"That doesn't give you the right to be a shithead about it! Stop acting so damn jealous and moody; and acting like this whole fucking mess is my fault. I think we both know that this would of never happened if you hadn't broken your promise."

"I wish I never did!" He shot back and took a step forward, pressing me up against the wall. "And I sometimes get the feeling that you wish I never did too."

"You think that I would leave Tim Shepard, the Tim Shepard, for you?" I raised my eyebrows and shook my head slowly as Ponyboy's face screwed up.

"You love me."

"Bullshit."

"I'd treat you better."

"Bigger load of bullshit. Look how you treated me round one."

"That's it!" Ponyboy grabbed my arms and pinned them by my side before shoving his tongue down my throat. When he pulled out I slapped him across the cheek; not bothering to think that Soda was in the next room and could hear every word and sound.

"Please stop this." I whispered; bending down to where Ponyboy had fallen down. "Please don't…don't make me fall for you again. You know we can't be together, Ponyboy. We're too different. It's like we were born on two different planets. I'll always be a hood and you'll always be a smartass nerdy kid that'll go to college or whatever." I stood and offered a hand; which I expected to me slapped away. Surprisingly he took it; and I pulled him up with a little struggle (hey, it's a full grown seventeen year old boy). "Besides, you deserve better than me." I ruffled his hair and smiled. "Besides, you're Mr. Perfect."

"Isn't that what you want? Mr. Perfect?" I laughed and moved over towards the door.

"I don't want Mr. Perfect. I want Mr. As fucked up as I am." Ponyboy gave a small chuckle as I jumped out the door. I never did get any damn breakfast.


	15. I'm Sorry

**A/N: **Here it is! Sorry it took me so long to get it up. This chapter was inspired by the song _I'm Sorry_ by Buckcherry. I think it goes along nicely with it (*hint* listen to it! *hint*). This was the hardest chapter to write in this fic, so I hope you guys enjoy it!

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That night I was laying on Tim's bed, thinking. I don't really like to think a lot, since once you start thinking you remember things. As Tim took a long shower (I never understood how that boy could spend a solid thirty minutes taking a shower every night), I remembered Dally. I hadn't thought about Dally in a long while, and it felt weird. I could kind of remember his face, all pointy with the same ice blue eyes as mine. And I could remember his hair falling in bleach blond wisps around his head. But the memory was real fuzzy; like I was looking through glasses and made my head hurt.

I also remembered the Motorcycle Boy. God knows what made me think about him. The last time I saw him I wanted to kill him. But now I remembered all those times I had been alone; with no one to talk to except the boy sitting next to m at the bar. He was my friend when I had one, and lately I've been treating him like shit.

"But he deserves it." I argued out loud. But I knew that was a shitty excuse. I bit my lip and looked towards the door, trying to time the time it would take Tim to finish his shower. I wouldn't make it back in time, but I would be long gone so he couldn't hunt for me. I grabbed Tim's keys with out thinking twice and headed down stairs, going as fast as I could with out tripping over myself. I hopped into the old car and slammed on the gas pedal, driving away as fast as I could. It wasn't until I reached the bridge that I realized what a stupid idea this was.

But I kept on driving. I guess I thought I owed that much to The Motorcycle Boy. I really didn't know where to find the guy; just thought I would ask around. I drove past the Benny's place, where I met Rusty-James. The lights were off and the blinds were down, so I guessed that it was closed. Next I passed by a bar, but one glance inside at the old geezers told me that the infamous motorcycle rider wasn't there either. I was jut about to throw my hands up and turn back to the Shepard house, but something stopped me. It was a gun shot.

On the small list of things that scare me; heaters are definitely near the top. It was what killed Dallas; and anything that could bring down something as invincible as Dallas Winston scared the shit out of me. So I was frozen on the street; barely breathing. That's when I saw the black motor bike; sleek as the devil; leaning on the light post. I went from not breathing to hyperventilating in under two seconds. It felt like some one had switched life from slow motion to fast forward with a snap of their fingers. I didn't even park the car; I just hopped out and ran. The bike was positioned in front of some pet store; so my first hint was to follow down the ally. As soon as I was out of the darkness, I heard the second gun shot. In the pale moonlight; a figure stood; his auburn hair shining like bronze in the silver light.

There wasn't even enough time to scream no. The Motorcycle Boy fell with a silent thud to the ground as I pounded towards his crumpled body, ignoring the sneer I got from te cop standing a few yards away.

"You crazy bastard!" I screamed down at the legend; who looked stunned. But at the call of my frantic voice he smiled. That damn crazy smile. He parte his bloody lips to say something, but nothing except a gurgle of blood came from his lips. I fell to my knees and shook his shoulder; only causing more of the sticky red liquid to flow from the Motorcycle Boy's chest and mouth.

It was just like Dallas' death all over again. What do you call it? Déjà vu? The metallic smell; the crimson on the grass; the blood all over my hands that flowed with the tears that were running down my cheeks. I watched in complete helplessness as The legend took his very last breath; that crazy ass smile still on his face.

"Miss, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to step back."

"Fuck off, asshole." I growled as the cop tried to jerk my to my feet.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, maim. It will be better for all of us if you'll just do as I say."

"To hell it will!" I screamed and rose to my feet, feeling blind as the tears clouded my vision. "All you care about is being the 'hero cop'. But you took down a hero all on his own! You're no hero, your scum!" I squatted back down to the cold body, and pressed my hand up against his stone hard chest. "Sorry, Lord, I'm sorry." It was all I could say to my friend. There was a lot of other sappy bull shit I could of said, but sorry seemed like the most honest thing to think.

Sorry I was a bitch.

Sorry I blew you off.

Sorry I never kissed you.

Sorry I didn't see you for what you were.

Sorry I took your friendship for granted.

But most of all; sorry for not being there when you needed me, like you always were.

**xXx**

I ended up staggering back to Tim's car; the blood still on me. I wasn't crying anymore; I felt to numb to cry. I only got back in the car and drove off back to town. As I got closer and closer to Tim's house, I steered further and further from it. I couldn't face Tim like this. Usually it would be him I would run to, but things have changed. Now all I wanted was that lumpy old couch at the Curtis' to sleep my worries away. It took less than fifteen minutes to pull up to the deserted curb and hop out of the car.

"S…Soda? Pony?" I had curved off towards the brothers' bedroom window, where I could see faint glow. Probably Ponyboy reading. The youngest Curtis brother opened his window and stared down in horror.

"Dusty? Oh Lordy, what happened to you?!"

"Shut your damn mouth!" I hissed and lurched myself up to the window sill. "Do 'ya want Darry to hear?"

"Hey Pony, what is it? I peeked in to see Soda snuggled into hi bed, slowly fluttering his eye lids. Then they flew completely open. "Dusty! Oh shit!"

"It's not mine." I murmured, looking away from the horror stricken faces of the two brothers. "It's.... oh lord, it's his." I sunk to the floor with a defeated humph, biting my lip and shaking my head as Ponyboy knelt beside me.

"Who's, Dusty, who's?!"

"The Motorcycle Boy's." I think I heard both boys sigh in relief. I was too tired to blow up at them, though. I head rolled onto Ponyboy's shoulder, making him stiffen but then relax with a sudden ease. "Can I…crash here?"

"'Course you can." Ponyboy mumbled into my hair. I was off to sleep before I could lean off of Ponyboy; my mind taking me off to much darker places than where I was now. Places were Dallas Winston and the Motorcycle Boy still lived on, dead before their time, waiting for all the apologies that were left unsaid.


	16. Dropping Like Flies

**First of all, let's all take a moment of silence to remember the lost of another legend.**

**Okay, now back to business. Many of you may hate me for this chapter, but it had to be done! That's all I'll say. **

**I'd like to mention one of my loyal reviewers at this time, Forget Tomorrow. Live Today. You may not recognize her pen name, but that's only because she uses on account to review and one to write. She has started her own Winston sister fic, and guess who's in it? DUSTY!!! So the story is One Flame, that didn't burn. Now go check out Roxanna with Dallas and Dusty! **

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The next day past slowly, with each tick making me groan in impatience. I wanted it to be over; the low voices, the sympathetic glances, and the anxiety burning inside of my stomach. The Curtis brothers (well, Ponyboy and Sodapop at least) stayed in all day, asking over and over gain if I needed anything. I would just shake my head, my eyes focused of the floor, the one question that caused my anxiety burning in me.

_Who was next?_

It occurred to me that we were dropping like flies; us greasers and no good hoods. Going out as quickly as a flame. It was only a matter of time before someone else fell. And the most likely to go was Tim Shepard. My second brother, my true friend, the only guy who could kiss me and not get smacked in the face. Loosing him would be like loosing three Dallases. It would shake me, break me, and make me into something that I tried to steer past so many times; refusing to be like _him._

It I lost Tim, or any of my friends for that matter, I would become cold, Winston ice. Hell, maybe I was already there. But I convinced myself other wise, because if I was like Dal, I wouldn't care. I sat on the couch all day, thinking about the epiphany over and over again. It wasn't until Sodapop plopped right next to me on the couch that I was pulled back into reality.

"Chist, Soda! Wanna give me a heart attack!" He held up his hands in defense.

"Sorry! I didn't expect you to be all jumpy."

"I'm not jumpy." I grumbled. Soda sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Sure your not. Want a pepsi?"

"I need a beer." Soda smiled, but shook his head.

"No can do, sweetheart. Darry banned all alcohol from the house until you're out of it. Said something like…no broad needs to drink as much as that chick does?" I groaned and rubbed my eyes, then reached into my pocket.

"I can still smoke, right? Or did the new Hitler ban that too?"

"Naw, have a weed. Looks like you need it." I took a match he held out to me coolly.

"Not that much."

"Aw, come on Dusty. You gotta admit your shaken up a little." I laughed, then took a long drag.

"'Course I'm shaken up. This is what? The third friend of mine that's died?" Soda continued to stare at me with those wide, worried blue eyes of his. "Well, I am! I mean, which on of us is next?" Soda just stared at me, speechless. I could tell he was thinking the same thing too, because his face scrunched up in thought and hurt.

"I…I don't know." He refused to look at me, and instead looked down at the carpet. "Sometimes…sometimes I think your next. You and that big mouth of yours. One day someone's gonna blow your brains out for giving them bad mouth." This time I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I won't be the next to go." I promised.

"You can't say that." Just when I was about to argue with him, the door swung open.

"Any body home?"

"Don't you have your own place, Two-Bit?" Is snapped. The rusty haired greaser shook his head at the scene before him.

"Why are you two bawlin' like babies?"

"We're no bawling!" Soda glared up at his friend and stood up. "We were just discussing death."

"Well, I'll be. Who died?"

"The Motorcycle Boy." I whispered.

"No shit! Who took him out?" I leapt to my feet and shoved the older boy's on the chest.

"This is serious, Two-Bit! We're all dropping like flies and all you can do is joke about it!" He rolled his eyes and took my hands off his chest.

"Well that's all sunshine and rainbows. I have an idea, today we get wasted for tomorrow we die!" This time I tackled Two-Bit, my anger getting the best of me. It wasn't much of a fight, though. He had me pinned before I could start shouting at him. Soda was shaking his head, looking like he couldn't believe we chose to brawl now.

"Get off, greaser!" I hissed as Two-Bit jerked my arm back. He only laughed shook his head.

"No can do, honey. You'll just scratch my eyes out!" I screamed in protest and bucked, shifting his just enough to roll us over. So now Two-Bit was under me on his back, and I was also on my back, fighting to free my arm. "Good lord, Dusty! You weigh a ton!" I kicked him in the inside of his thigh in warning.

"If you don't let me go I'll start kicking higher!"

"Go ahead, honey. This man's got balls of steel!" If he thought I was bluffing, he was sourly mistaken. I kicked him good and hard, making his cry out and loose his grip one me. Soda was still shaking his head, but this time he was smiling. Finally Two-Bit rose to his knees, his stormy grey eyes flying at me like daggers.

"I'm gonna kill you, you little brat!" The look Two-Bit threw at me scared me shitless; I'd never seen him so pissed before. My feet were backing up slowly to the door, then started pounding when the man was up to his feet.

"Thanks, Soda!" I called behind my shoulder, hopping it wouldn't ruin my chances of escape. Two-Bit put up a good chase, and had me running for at least four blocks. But once a lazy bum, always a lazy bum. He gave up as soon as he got tired. I kept running, though. No telling if he would be cool or pissed if I turned back.

I started walking in a short while, growing tired of running. I started thinking of the Motorcycle Boy again. I think the thing I missed the most was his smile; though that was the one characteristic about him that drove me crazy. I guess it reminded me that there was one other person in the world that was more fucked up than I was. But then he had those distant grey eyes…those eyes that could paralyze me on the spot. I guess I would miss all of the Motorcycle Boy.

I was walking down the street, which seemed pretty much deserted. It was because the sun was down; and twilight was reigning over Tulsa. The yellow hue of the Sun was gone, and it was the perfect time for gangs to jump rivals, mug random people, and do drug deals. Shit that no one wants to get into. I wasn't looking out for the suspicious activity, though. One thing that Dally always said was keep your eyes open; always pay attention. Find trouble before it finds you. Now, in the faint darkness, I wish I had listen to Dallas for once.

"Winston!" I looked up, startled. There was no one around me, and I looked left and behind me. But when I looked right into the ally, I saw a brawny figure in the shadows. At first I thought it might be Tim, and took a step forward.

"Shepard?" There was cool, icy laugh, and then the figure emerged from the shadows and stepped into the dim glow of the street light.

"No, you stupid broad." I could faintly recognize the voice, under the course draw of the vowels and the harsh whisper that invaded my ears. But I just couldn't place it….

Then I saw them. The eyes. Those damn golden eyes filled with bloodlust and hate. With another step into the light, the blond hair flecked with a muddy brown glimmered, making me gasp and take a swift step back. It was no use, though. The boy, no, the _man _matched me every move, determined to ensnare me in his trap. I knew then who the voice belonged to. I knew that there was only one person in the world that could give that look of pure hatred; the last look I ever saw from him.

"M…Mark?" Then he smirked. It wasn't the smile that I loved so long ago, but a sick, twisted smirk that made my stomach crawl. He lifted his arm, slowly, and it wasn't until I saw the shinning barrel that I knew my life span had been cut drastically short.

"Yeah, baby, it's me." With a swift jerk of his forefinger, the gun lurched forward his hand, sending a silver bullet soaring.

Then everything…died.


	17. On the Edge

**Angry Mob: You killed her, your friggin bitch! How can you dare kill Dusty?!**

**Me: Uh…no I didn't.**

**Angry Mob: Well then who did?!**

**Curly: Hehe, I think I know.**

**Me: **_**Damn you, Curly Shepard! You're never touching my laptop again!**_

**Angry Mob: He's running for the hills!**

**Me: After him!!!!**

**Okay, half of you are either laughing your asses off while the other half are sitting thinking, WTF, is she high (no, I'm not high. Dope ruined the gangs, man!)? Anyway, I beg you to read this chapter before doing anything drastic, like taking me off your favorite author list (cause you all favorited me, right? Right?). This one is a little long, so if you're just planning on skimming through wait until another time. There's a lot of goodies in this chapter, I swear!**

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The smoke moved around me in a gray haze, clouding my vision as the cigarette burned a glowing red. I was laying on my bed while smoking, something that could get me killed if Darry ever found out. But I hadn't had a cigarette since ten in the morning, and my nerves were all antsy for no reason. I took another long drag, and started to listen for Dusty again. I wanted to go comfort her, but I was scared that I would do something stupid. It was hard enough trying not to reach out and take her in my arms last night, but this was agonizing. It was like watching a dying puppy behind a glass wall. I knew I couldn't hide out in my room forever, though. I decided to take one last puff, then go into the den. But my plan was torn to pieces as the door burst open, and a flushed Steve leaned against the frame.

"Ponyboy! Dusty…shot." I leapt from the bed and put my light out, running towards the wheezing boy as quick as I could.

"What? Did Dusty shoot somebody?!" I shook Steve's shoulders until he stood up an pushed me away.

"No, someone shot Dusty. She's in an ambulance now, and I convinced Shepard to give us a ride." A blow of the horn confirmed that an impatient Tim was waiting. I ran through the door before Steve got get him self upright again. Sodapop was quick at my heels, refusing to miss a beat as I swung the passenger door open and turned to Tim.

"Who did it? When did it happen? How serious…"

"Shut the hell up, kid! I don't know anymore than you do." I could tell by the way his knuckles were drained white that he had been squeezing the steering wheel for a long time. When Steve finally lumbered in, he turned towards the back seat and flashed a nasty glare. "I didn't know we were bringing the kids, else I would of dumped you way back."

"I ain't a kid!" I defended. "Now are you just going to sit here insulting us or get the hell along to Dusty?" Sodapop was quiet; probably shocked by my short temper. But this was Dusty…and I wasn't planning in loosing her. I _couldn't_ loose her. So Tim turned back to the road, pissed as a wet cat, and pushed the gas pedal all the way to the floor.

"Tryin' to kill us, Shepard?!" Soda finally voiced himself as Tim took a sharp left turn, throwing us all against a window (except for Steve, he toppled right on top of Sodapop). Tim didn't speak, but kept at the same dangerous speed and made turns that made my stomach drop to the floor. I was glad when it was finally over; and Tim pulled into the hospital parking lot. Tim was out of the car first, but I was faster and sprinted towards the two glass doors. There was a nurse sitting at the front desk, who pretended like I didn't exist until I ran into her establishment.

"I…my girlfriend, no, my friend got shot…I don't know…"

"Name?" She asked in a bored tone.

"Winston," I said hastily. I was about to give her a first name, but then I remembered that I had no idea what Dusty's real name is. It made me feel stupid, so I scowled as the lady took her time looking through all of the charts on her desk. Finally she looked up, just as the other guys were scattering in. Tim slammed into the desk just like I did, and gave the nurse a death stare that even made my skin crawl.

"We've got to see Dusty Winston now!" The lady glared up at him, but shrunk away when she saw the look in his dark blue eyes.

"She's in the emergency room. She's lost a lot of blood, at least that's what I saw."

"S…saw?" I gulped, thinking of the warm crimson liquid dripping off the ice cold corpse of my heart's keeper. No! I couldn't think that. I couldn't jinx myself into thinking Dusty was dead. She had to be alive, she had to be fighting, God knows she was always a fighter….

"Yes. Are you sick?"

"No." I said in a low voice. Tim casted a sideways glance at me, but I turned the other way so he couldn't see the pain in my eyes. The last thing I need is a Shepard thinking I still digged his chick.

"I'm afraid you'll have to wait until she has…recovered." She said recovered like it was unlikely, at least that's what I let myself believe. Did this mean she was dead already? Hanging on by a thread? The suspense drove me nuts and I started pacing up and down the white wall, thinking it looked like an asylum layout rather than a hospital. Tim sat quietly in a chair, and the two other boys followed suit. I didn't sit down until Steve started yelling at me too, and in all truth the constant pacing was making me tired.

The amount of time we spent waiting is unclear to me. It seems like we were stuck in that hospital for days, just waiting for anything. Soda fell asleep after a few hours; spent from the worry. I wish I could of slept the agony away, but I'm one of those people who can't do anything but stare on when their antsy. Pretty soon I really, really needed a cigarette. I checked my pockets, but then remembered that I left them on my bedside table. Damn. My eyes subconsciously moved towards the bulge in Tim's shirt pocket, where a rectangular shape sang out to me like a song. He noticed the craving in my eyes, and with a sigh reached into his pocket and produced a light.

"Here, kid." He handed the thin white paper out like a peace offering. But I was in no mood for peace.

"I don't need it." I said through clenched teeth, trying hard not to think about the wonderful release the cancer stick would provide for me. Tim raised his eyebrows stuck his hand out further.

"You look like you're about to blow the whole fucking place up. You need a smoke." I eyed the cigarette one last time, then made a swipe for it. I used my own match to get the fire going. I don't know why I had matches but no cigarettes. Tim started me down; or sized me up rather. I was starting the squirm, and the light was starting to loose it's effect as Tim bore his judgemental eyes into me.

'So, what exactly happened with you and Dusty?" I choked on my smoke and turned to glare at the Shepard.

"That's kind of personal, ain't it?" Tim furrowed his eyebrows and stared me down long and good.

"Well seeing that your still painting after my girl like a dog, I think I have some right to personal questions."

"She's not…" I trailed off before I flamed up. One I got my cool back, I turned back to Tim with a grim expression. "What's there to tell?" He smirked at my awkwardness and took his time lighting his own cigarette.

"When did you start liking each other?" I shrugged and took a drag.

"Right before Dal went, I s'pose. It's my fault we never picked it back up." Tim narrowed his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because I thought I found someone else, and it had been one year. I bet you can't hold out that long." I wanted to slap myself for saying it, but it was already out. Tim hissed and leaned threateningly closer to me.

"You probably hadn't had a fuck before then, so shut the hell up." I grimaced, but nodded my head. "Who's this someone else chick, anyway?"

"Cathy. She doesn't hang with Angela, so I wouldn't know her."

"Must me a good broad then." I smiled at the way he so casually insulted his sister, but then I caught myself and frowned.

"I guess so. She was the complete opposite of Dusty." Tim let a wicked grin cross his face as I squirmed.

"Dusty's got one hell of a bad attitude. But that's one of the reasons I like her, 'ya know?" I cocked my head to one side in thought.

"Naw, it's not the attitude. It's the fact that she's a tough chick, but different from the rest of them. She doesn't try to dress like a slut, and she doesn't wear all that make-up gunk. It's that she can have the attitude and not be like the others." Tim looked at me like I had four heads, and despite myself I blushed.

"'Ya know, you're a pretty smart kid once you get down to it." I felt the corners of my mouth twitch, but held my smile.

"Thanks." I had no compliment for him. I still resented him; despite the bond that we shared in loving the same girl. It drove me mad still to think about Dusty kissing him, touching him…

"Winston?" We all jumped to our feet, except Sodapop, who fell onto the plastic chair with the lack of Steve's shoulder for support.

"Ow! Damn it, what's... oh!" Now we were all up, staring at the doctor with greedy eyes as he shifted his gaze from one of us to another.

"Well, your girl took quite a hit. The bullet tore through her appendix, and barely missed her liver. We had to remove it as soon as possible so the bile wouldn't infect the rest of her organs." He paused for a breath and to make sure we were following. In all honesty, I think I was the only one that was. The other three boys were hopping from one foot to another, wanting to hear what they've been waiting to hear.

"She lost a lot of blood, too. But we were able to transfuse that back throughout blood system. We'd like to keep her in for a few days, to make sure she's running fine. Other than that, she should be all right." I heard Tim give a sigh of relief, and I looked over to see that he was trembling. Soda and Steve smiled and clapped each other on the back.

"Only family can go back there, so I suggest the closest member goes." I was just about to look from one boy to another in question when Tim stepped forward.

"She has no family left. I'm her fiancée, though." The doctor nodded and motioned Tim towards the white doors. I thought I got punched in the gut, that's how much it hit me. The breath left my lungs as I stumbled back , knocking my knees against the plastic chairs. Tim turned his head slightly towards the sound, and for a minute I thought I saw sympathy in his deep eyes, but I quickly brushed it away as he turned back towards the door. There was no way he could feel sympathy for me, the loser. Because the winner never thinks twice about the one who loses the prize.

**xXx**

The doctor kept tapping his clipboard against his thigh, making a faint rubbing sound echoed down the hallway. I hate fucking hospitals, and this was giving me the creeps. But Dusty was here…safe.

_Oh God, thank you she's safe._

When I drove past the crime scene, towards the Curtis house to hassle those pesty maggots about hiding my girl away, my heart dropped to my ass along with my gut. The dark red blood was splattered all along the sidewalk, making bile rise to my throat. When I tired to find out who it was, they pushed me away. But I saw her face; pale and frozen with eyes closed and lips slightly parted. And I knew that if I lost her, it would be the last straw.

Guys like me border on insanity their whole life; one death pushing you closer and closer towards the edge. The only one who held me back from the rocky cliffs of craziness was Dusty; gripping her nails into my flesh. But if I lost that grip; I would topple over. And I almost did this night; I almost went insane with grief and hatred.

But I kept cool by hopping into my car, determine to tail the truck all the way to the hospital. But then that damn Randle kid came pounding on my window. Then of course we had to go get the whole fucking gang, because what would Dusty be without her cheer squad? Honestly, I couldn't understand why she wasted her time with those kids anyway. She tried to explain they were her family, in some sick twisted way. I still never got it. I understood loyalty, that shit was big in gangs. But it just wasn't the same. She was never apart of the gang…not really. So over and over she would explain, and over and over I would shake my head in dumbness.

And then there was that Curtis kid. Boy, is that kid fucked up. What the hell was he still doing hanging on to a girl _he_ broke up with two years ago? It's degrading to the male race. I tried to talk to him, "to break ice" as some folks put it, but he wanted nothing to do with it. The kid hated me, and had no shame in showing it. It almost made me feel sorry for him…almost. I can't feel sorry for someone who can't brush the dust of his jeans and get the fuck on with his life. It bugs the hell out of me.

"And here we are. It looks like she's still sleeping. I wouldn't recommend waking her up, though." I nodded without looking towards the doctor, then stepped into the room slowly, my boots making a tiny slapping sound each time they would fall on the tile. I pulledup the chair in the corner of the room and sat by Dusty's side, my breath getting heavier with each rise and fall of her chest. My body started shaking in spasms, and in a matter of seconds I felt something hot and wet fall down my cheek. I brushed the salty drop onto my finger, and stared at it in wonderment. I realized I was crying; something I hadn't done in three years.

I'd only cried three times in my life, including then. Once, my pa slapped me when I was five for swiping his whisky. The second time was when good ole Dally went into the grave. It broke my heart; believe it or not. He was my best friend; the only guy besides Curly that I really gave a fuck about. It disturbed me a little when I visited the hood in the hospital; since he always seemed to never be hurt; always invincible. But I was able to laugh it off right along with him. Now I couldn't laugh, I could only cry. And it was driving closer to the cliff.

"Mark…no…Mark!" Dusty gasped in front of me. I lifted my head swiftly to see her tossing in turning, looking like someone just punched the life out of her, The doctor said not to wake her up, but what the hell.

"Dusty! Wake up!" She stopped thrashing, then let out a small groan. She lazily opened one eye, and stared at me with surprise in those crystal blue eyes.

"Tim? What are you…where's…" I stood swiftly and leaned over the bed, wasting no time in pressing my warn lips against her cold ones.

"Shh," I murmured. "Everything's all right. It'll be all right." She pulled back slightly, then stared up at me with amazement.

"You're…you're crying." I wiped the last tear away and shook me head.

"I thought…oh god, I thought you were dead, Dusty! I thought we were for sure gone. An I can't…I can't…" I blubbered on until she lifted a shaky hand an pulled down on my shirt.

"Hush." I smiled in relief and kissed her again. "You know, I thought I was a goner too. I mean, every thing just went black, like I just dropped dead. Now I think I just passed out from the pure fear of it." I trailed my finger down her arm, enjoying the sigh she released when I touched her hand lightly.

"I'm so tired." She whispered. I nuzzled my face into her neck as she slowly faded back into sleep. I held Dusty when her breath got shallow, and held her after that just to feel her warming skin. Without even noticing it, I slowly fell into sleep, holding the most important person in my life know, desperate not to let go. I refused to fall off the edge.

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**Me: Well? Am I forgiven?**

**Angry Mob: maybe…you'll just have to wait until we review.**

**Curly: Haha! **

**Whole Company: shut the fuck up, you bastard!**

**Lol, seriously though…is everyone still pissed?**


	18. Happy Anniversary!

**Well I'm suppose to be studying for midterms, as many of you know, but I just had to take a break and a moment to say…..**

_**Happy Anniversary, Dusty!!**_

**Yup, it's Dusty's one year anniversary. It's amazing how much time had gone by since I first sat down at the computer and started typing this story. **

**Here's a fun fact for you: I actually started writing **_**To Shadow a Greaser**_** in mid November, about a week after I saw the**_** Outsiders**_** movie and read the book two times over. I had no idea what I was going to do with it; but the story was just in my head and driving me insane. Then I read an interview with S.E. Hinton in her newest book, **_**Some of Tim's Stories **_**(It's not about Tim Shepard!). One of the questions was "Do you like Fanfiction?" And to this she replied, "No, I don't like people messing with my characters." So at first I didn't post **_**To Shadow a Greaser,**_** since Ms. Hinton was against it, but eventually I couldn't help myself.**

**Shepard v. Curtis: If you told me a year ago that Dusty Winston would get hot and heavy with Tim Shepard, I would of called you a retard and punched you. My original plan was to make Ponyboy the shit, but so many twist and turns in the story lead me away from that plan. In short: Dusty and Tim are two of a kind, while Dusty and Ponyboy are on opposite ends of the same world. Enough said. **

**Special Thanks: TheDarknessOfTheNight, my first reviewer. Thanks for sticking with me! I can't wait for another Curtis sister fic from you. **

**Lilmermaid, you've stuck with me through out the series too. Thanks a bunches!**

**SisterCat144, thanks for sticking with Dusty through **_**Shadows from the Past.**_

**Dallas Winston, thank you for giving me my first flame. It was so hilarious, so it softened the criticism I received after you. **

**And Forget Tomorrow. Live Today. I'm so glad you've discovered Dusty and enjoy her so much. It means so much to me that you like her enough to throw her into your own fics. **

**If I missed anyone who's reviewed since To Shadow a Greaser, please let me know. I'll give you credit in the upcoming chapter. I'm sorry there's no update now, I wish there was. But I've only had the time to quick type this lovely little note. I promise, once midterms are over, I'll give you guys a real anniversary present! Lol, Thank you again!**

**Viva la Dusty!**


	19. Screwing up Again

**Here's my real anniversary gift! Lol. Has anyone heard of The Outsider's TV show? It only has thirteen episodes, but it still kicks ass. I like the guy who plays Tim in the show better than the guy who plays Tim in the Outsiders. Random fact! Anyway, this chapter is a bit choppy. Sorry about that, but I'm so desperate to get this posted. **

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The sunlight wasn't helping me at all. In fact, I think it was making me shittier than I was about a week ago. Tim had taken me to his place, despite the protest of Darry. But no one argued with Tim Shepard for long. I was glad I was staying at Tim's place instead of the Curtis'. God knows how I love their hovering. But it's not like I had a choice. Tim Shepard wanted me with him, and Tim Shepard always got what he wanted.

Anyway, back to the sunlight. It was burning my eyeballs out, even as I squinted them shut as hard as I could.

"Wake up, you lazy ass!" Tim pulled back his bed sheets, exposing me and my frayed white underwear to the whole damn world.

"Christ Tim!" I hollered and fought blindly to regain my only cover. "Trying to make me bust a stitch?" He held the stained sheets just out of reach, like you would a cat. I was getting real pissed real fast.

"Don't bull shit me, girl. That cut hasn't been bothering you since two nights ago."

"And what makes you think that?" I huffed while lunging for the sheets. Again I missed. Tim presented that smirk of his before leaning down to my ear.

"Because you were screaming…"

"Can I get my shit now? I've been steering clear of this damn room all week." We both turned to stare at Curly, who was slouching in the door way of the room. After I thought about it, what he said was true. I hadn't seen any of the other Shepards, in fact. I wasn't sure about Tim's mother or stepfather, but I was pretty sure they left earlier than I got up and came later than when I slept. But Curly was definitely avoiding his shared room, probably sleeping on the couch. For a minute I actually started to feel sorry for the guy. But then I remembered my last, unsuccessful date with him three years back. I didn't feel so sorry for him anymore. I couldn't say much about Angela either, other than she probably hated me and avoided me at all cost. Couldn't really blame her for it. I rather hated the girl myself.

"No, I was just going to take Dusty for a ride." I glanced over at the clock in panic. I thought of actually going outside terrified me, I won't lie. Mark really shook me up something awful.

"It's only nine!"

"You're already up."

"I don't have any clothes."

"Borrow some of Angel's."

"And look like a slut?"

"Watch your mouth, Winston." It was moment like these where I swear that Tim wasn't my boyfriend, but really my brother resurrected from the dead to annoy the shit out of me. Why couldn't he just let me alone?

"I don't want to." I growled. It was the only thing I could say. Curly huffed from the doorway and glared in my direction.

"What, scared?" He spat. I met his eyes with my cold blue ones, showing no emotion as I stared the punk down.

"Shitless." That shut him up good. At least for a little while, anyway.

"Damn, I thought I'd never see the day a Winston was scared of stepping outside a fucking house."

"Shut up, Tim." Of course he didn't.

"God, I'm losing faith in you, Dusty. I thought that nothing scared you."

"Guess you're wrong."

"Something as stupid as a gun wouldn't scare Dallas." I stopped for a moment, completely in awe that Tim would play that card against me. The bastard probably didn't know how much it hurt, but still…it was a shitty thing to stay.

"I'll go." I said in the same low voice I used before. I refused to look at the brothers as I shouldered my way past the both of them. I thought I heard Curly mutter something like, "Smooth, man." But I couldn't be sure.

I walked down the hall to Angela's room, and stopped to knock. I heard shuffling behind the door, and waited for ten seconds before knocking again. This time the shuffling grew closer, and the door flew open as an annoyed Shepard girl glared me down.

"What do_ you_ want?" She sneered. I noticed that only one eye was done up in black other, while one cheek was a shade darker than the other. She must have been in the middle of doing her make up. 67

"Clothes." Then as a second thought I added, "Tim sent me." Angela stood with her head tilted for a moment, as if weighing her life expectancy if she refused her brother. With a final sigh she opened her door a little further.

"Come in, then. If Tim says so." I followed Angela into her room with slight hesitance. Even though there was a treaty between us, I still didn't trust Angela any more than I could throw her. Once I was fully inside her room, she slammed the door shut while walking over to a cluttered dresser with a mirror hanging over it. For a moment I just stood there, awkward, as Angela finished up her other eye.

"Do you love him?" She asked suddenly. I stared in surprise at the Shepard girl.

"What?"

"Do you love Tim?" I paused for a second, trying to come up with a good answer.

"That's a personal question, ain't it?" Angela shrugged and moved from the dresser, picking out a pair of tight black pants while shorting through her tangled tops in her closet.

"I got a right to ask it. You've been hanging around here a lot." I shrugged and tried hard not to grimace at the low top Angela selected.

"I guess. It's not like I have a choice. Tim wanted me here, anyway." She threw the clothes at me while staring hard and good.

"But you want to be here." I exhaled.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because…because…." I fought to think of something besides I love Tim, but it was pretty hard. Finally I walked out. I didn't have to answer that damn question, and I wasn't gonna. I reared off into the bathroom, where I changed quickly. I was tugging and pulling when I ran into Tim, who was waiting outside.

"Good lord, it takes you long to get ready." I scowled as he shoved past me, slamming the door. I guess he really had to piss. I waited until Tim returned.

"Ready?" I grumbled. He nodded, then stared at me. Slowly, a sly grin crossed his face. "What?"

"You look…nice."

"Nice?"

"Those pants do wonders for your ass. I'll have to thank Angel…"

"God, you're a pervert." Tim shrugged and brushed his lips against mine in a quick, hard motion.

"I'm a man. So sue me." I started mumbling about perverted men as Tim shoved me out the door and into the car. It wasn't until the house was out if sight that I turned drectly to him and started talking.

"So were are we going?"

"I'm dumping you at the DX, then picking you up."

"I can walk."

"I'm picking you up." Another silence followed. I would of fought for my cause, but I decided it was better to keep my trap shut. I wasn't feeling like fighting, I was so damn tired. But I guess it was nice to get out of the house after a week of just lying in bed. Finally we reached the gas station, where there was only one car in the parking lot. It was the manager's.

"They're not even here yet!" I protested as Tim brought the car to a hault.

"Stop your whining." I didn't get out, but instead turned to glare at Tim. I was about to reach my breaking point and argue, but his lips stopped mine. I don't know how long we made out, but by the time Tim pulled away my arm had fallen asleep from where it had been pinned under my back.

"Tim…"

"Angela told me about what you said." My face became hot, even though I didn't give the bitch an answer.

"I didn't say anything."

"Why?" I looked desperately behind Tim's head, searching for a decoy. But Steve and Soda weren't showing up anytime soon.

"Because she doesn't need to know that kind of shit." Tim growled in agitation.

"But I do!" I paused before answering. I was scared shitless to tell him the truth. It could really fuck up whatever we had, and I didn't want that. Another failed relationship: screwed over by Dusty Winston. I _really_ didn't want that.

"Love is a shitty thing, Tim."

"Just answer the damn question." I heard the rumbling of a truck. No, it was the song of the angels. Darry drove his old truck into the parking lot. Steve and Sodapop were ready to jump out of the back, there feet already on top of the bumper.

"Maybe some other time." I jumped ship before Tim could pull my back in. Even then, he didn't stop. I was halfway across the parking lot when he caught up to me, yanking on my arm.

"No, damnit Dusty, now! I'm tired of you avoiding something as simple as telling the truth!"

"I'm not avoiding it!"

"Then fucking tell me!" I screamed in outrage while tearing my arm away from Tim's grasp.

"No! I don't love you, Tim Shepard! And I never will! Now drop this shit so I can get on with my life!" He got real quiet, just staring at me with those blue eyes that didn't seem so hard anymore.

"Really? You don't love me?" I took a shuddering breath and started to shake my head no, to take it all back. But Tim cut me off before I could. "It's the Curtis kid, isn't it? You still dig him, don't you?"

"No! I don't dig him, I don't dig anybody but…"

"Me. Bullshit."

"It's not!"

"Bye, Winston."

Chirst. I fucked up, again.


	20. Hundred Dollar Answer

**Wow, I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written. It took me about a week to write, too. Merry Christmas to all you greasers! I certainly hope Santa brought you something nice. I know he got me Rob Lowe gagged and tied with a bow on his head (lol, jk). **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders, yada yada yada. But I also don't own Scout, she belongs to Fox and The Outsiders tv show. It's pretty good, from what I saw of it. Here's a link to a clip of Scout and the Curtis boys ****.com/watch?v=DX0DbAa_nH0&feature=related**

**So enjoy!**

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"I can't believe I did it again!" I wailed as Soda patted my back and Steve rolled his eyes. "You would think that after screwing things up about three times before would teach me a lesson. But no! I just had to go and fuck things up again!"

"Stop your whining." Steve grumbled. "It's not like their aren't enough guys out there for you. You really don't need him."

"Shut up, Steve!" I lifted my head from my hand long enough to smack the man on his arm. Soda shook his head at Steve while flashing a warning glance. " I don't want anyone else, I want him!"

"But what about Ponyboy?"

"Nothing! I've been over Ponyboy." Speak of the devil. The youngest Curtis was leaning against the door frame, a smile playing on his lips. I was surprised; I expected a frown or pained expression. But no, Ponyboy Curtis was smiling after being shot down.

"And I'm over you." I glared at Pony, trying to crisp him alive. Nothing. Not even a flinch. It irritated me until I was digging my nails through the wood.

"What are you smirking at, boy?" He laughed. Laughed! And threw his hands up in the air.

"Not you, don't get your panties in a not." He laughed again. Now I was starting to worry. What if Ponyboy had finally lost it? I heard about all those artsy types of people falling off their rocker, but it looked like Ponyboy got an extra rocket launch.

"Then what? Stop acting like you've been shooting up, for God's sake!"

"I have someone I want you to meet." I narrowed my eyes, not knowing what to expect. I could feel Soda tense behind me, but Steve just looked bored as Ponyboy jumped out of the station. When he came back in, he wasn't alone.

"Everybody, meet Scout." A girl. He had a girl! I should have been happy, relived even. But instead a squeezing griped my chest, and I was digging my nails into the counter again. Sodapop had to opposite reaction of me. Instead he was jumping over towards Pony and the girl, his smile as big as Alaska.

"And what is the relationship of you two younglings?" Ponyboy wrapped an arm around the Scout girl and smiled even bigger than his brother.

"She's my girlfriend." Soda gave a whoop and clasped Ponyboy on the back.

"About time, Pony! Nice to see you've finally gotten over the bitch of Tulsa."

"_What?_" I hissed. Soda raised his hands like Ponyboy had done only moments before.

"Who said I was talking about you?"

"Well, Cathy doesn't really have a bitchy attitude, so that really narrows it down." Now I was glaring at Steve, who shrugged. "Sorry Dusty, but you're the biggest bitch I've ever meet. Breaking all of our hearts while drooling after a hood that's probably long down the road." Soda moved back to Steve and slapped him on the head.

"Stop being so damn discouraging! Tim still likes you, Dusty. His manly pride is just torn to pieces."

"What happened with Tim?" Pony had nothing but concern in his eyes, but the gripping sensation was still running through my chest.

"Why do you care?"

"Don't shut me out, Dusty. I'm your friend."

"Last I checked you wanted to be more than that." It was a shitty thing to say, since Scout was standing right there, but I was in one pissy mood. Ponyboy cleared his throat and stared straight at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Last I checked you had Tim Shepard's tongue down your throat and an engagement ring on your finger, so spill."

"Engagement ring?" Ponyboy rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you're marrying Tim. He told me while you were in the hospital." I paused for a second, blinked, and then fully comprehended what Ponyboy said.

"That _bastard_!" I looked at the four people in the store, three looking on with raised eyebrows while the forth stared warily on behind her new boyfriend. "I'm not marrying Tim. He only said that so he would be the first to see me, the first to know I was alright. Selfish bastard." I put my head back in my hand and started to laugh, just because it was better than bawling.

"But…I still don't know why you're upset over Tim." Ponyboy had somehow moved to my side while I was ranting, Scout falling in behind. I sighed, deciding I should just go ahead and tell him.

"He asked me….he asked me if I loved him."

"Oh god. You said yes?"

"No! I said no, and he just walked away! I didn't know what to say. I just did what I thought Tim would accept. God, I'm such a stupid bitch."

"No, not stupid." I was shocked by the soft voice if the girl. It wasn't gruff from smoking like so many I knew. Instead, it was soft and feminine. "You just need to kick his balls to get attention, and then tell him how you really feel."

"And what are you? My fucking shrink?"

"Dusty…" Ponyboy hissed in warning. Scout gave him a look that showed she could handle it, and turned back to me with a shrug.

"Hey, it's better than becoming a nutcase."

"Hell, Dusty's already a nutcase. Takes after he brother nice and fine." I leapt from my stool to grab Steve by the neck and pull him down to the aluminum floor.

"What did you just say, boy?"

"Man, the whole lot of you hoodlums are nuts. At least us greasers have some pride and dignity."

"Bull shit! I've got more pride than any greaser at the top of your head!" Soda started cracking up out of no where.

"Yeah, but you screwed over your dignity long ago." I struggled to flick off the middle Curtis brother all while keeping Steve in my grip, which didn't turn out so good for me. The two greasers had me pinned me before I could spell Mississippi. Steve's breath curled into my nose, making me gag as he leaned his face down unbearably close.

"Take it back."

"Asshole, get off."

"Take it back and I will."

"Come on, Dusty. Kiss ol' Stevie and make up."

"On my brother's grave." I grumbled and squirmed under the weight if the two boys. "Come on, let up." The door opened and slammed shut, causing Soda and Steve to jump up. I scrambled to me feet too, and resisted the urge to growl as Curly Shepard smirked at the sight of us.

"Wow Dusty. Tim's going to be pissed when he learns you were rolling around on the floor with two other guys." I pushed past the men and grabbed the front of Curly's shirt, then drove him into the wall.

"You little piece of shit! All you and your sister have given me is grief. You and Angela screwed up everything!" Curly clawed at my fisted hand while digging his knee into my thigh, trying to push me away.

'You did that yourself!" He gasped. " I wasn't the one who said I didn't love him!" I threw him onto the ground and stormed towards the counter top.

"Why are you even here? I don't need your shit, Curly." He brushed his shoulder and smirked.

"You think I'm here to give you shit?"

"Spit it out, Shepard!" Curly sauntered over and leaned on the counter and stood by me.

"Oh, you're still feisty." I lunged towards him, but he moved in the nick of time. "Fine! Tim wanted me to stalk you."

"Stalk me?" He shrugged and grabbed a Pepsi from behind the counter.

"Yeah, he wants to see if your fucking any other life form." His eyes flickered to Steve then back to me in a quick motion, but I still caught it.

"Oh hell no. Curly, you better not tell Tim I'm screwing Randle!" He raised his eyebrows.

"So you are?"

"No!"

"Then I won't tell him." I still glared at the middle Shepard, my irritation still at a high peak. He finished off the coke, then dumped a nickel on the counter. "Nice seeing you Winston." I didn't reply, but glowered as Curly exited the gas station.

"Who was that?" Scout muttered. I turned slightly to look at the girl. She wasn't all that pretty, with her short mousy hair and big dark eyes. But by the way Ponyboy was staring at her, he didn't care. It annoyed me, just the way his grayish green eyes roamed up and down her small body made me bite my lip in aggravation.

"Curly Shepard. It's better to steer clear of him." She tilted her head to the side.

"Why?"

For the next five hours I was stuck answering questions and telling stories about the infamous Shepard children. At several points her eyes grew wide. I took it that she was a greaser, not a hood. Not many hoods would gasp if they heard a guy cut a girl. Before I realized it, the sky was dark and Steve was closing the garage door.

"Pony! We gotta go!" Soda cried cheerfully from the front of the store. Ponyboy came over and jerked on Scout's arm.

"We gotta go." She turned to me, and I nodded.

"Go ahead. I got to kick someone in the balls." We smiled together, then she turned and went towards Soda. Pony started to follow her, but I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"Hey, Curtis. You pick them good." He narrowed his eyes and tore his arm from my grasp.

"Is that suppose to be a joke?"

"No, really. You…deserve her. She's better than me." Ponyboy soften his eyes and gave a small half smile.

"Thanks, Winston. You don't do too bad yourself." I snorted as Ponyboy moved out of the store, leaving me by myself in the dark.

"Come on, Dusty, get out!" I sighed and moved out of the store, glaring at Steve as I went passed him. He only grumbled something about girls taking longer than they should. I shouted a last goodbye before heading down the road, knowing I had about two miles to go. The night was quiet and eerie, which made me run. By the time I got to the Shepard house, I was breathing hard and leaning against the building. I locked up, and was relieved to see that Tim's light was on. I rested for a few more seconds before starting the climb.

Tim was on his bed, wearing a black wife beater and blue boxers. One of his pillows was smother his eyes as his chest rose and fell in a slow motion. I was surprisingly quiet climbing into Tim's room, and made some what of a graceful landing as I feel to the floor.

As quietly as I could, I climbed onto the bed and straddled Tim. It wasn't until I started trailing my fingers up his chest that his eyelids fluttered open. A hazy expression crossed his dark eyes, then we smiled in a lay way.

"Mmm, Winston meat." He leaned up to kiss me, and for one brief moment our lips brushed. But then he jerked back, and his eyes were hard. Suddenly he pushed me off and leaned up, a scowl growing across his face. "What are you doing here?"

"So much for wanting Winston meat," I muttered.

"You took advantage of my drowsiness and seduced me. Now what do you want?" I swallowed my curses and scouted closer to Tim.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to say what I said." He snorted and stood, walking away from the bed.

"You meant it, don't lie to me." I shot up after him and grabbed his arm.

"I'm not lying!" Tim turned and grabbed my face with his two hands, holding my head so I couldn't turn away.

"Then you love me?" I tried to squirm away, but I was no match for Tim Shepard.

"What?" He gripped my face a little harder while moving his lips a little closer.

"Say it out loud. Tell me how you really feel."

"For Christ's sake, Tim…"

"Just tell me Dusty, stop being such a damn tease."

"I'm not a tease! I just…God! I hate it when you do force me to say shit!"

"Then why don't you just leave? Why don't you hand over my ring and call it over?"

"Because I love you too damn much!" Tim got real quiet after that, but still held my face as I drew slow shaky breaths. Finally the suspense grew to my peak. "Well?! Say something, damnit!" As soon as the words left my mouth, Tim crashed his lips on top of mine. It was forceful and needy, and took me a few seconds to respond, I was so stunned. Now it all fell into place. Tim wasn't pissed, he was hurt. He really did…no, he couldn't. He wouldn't. Hell, if he couldn't love his own brother then how could he love me?

My thoughts were interrupted by a stream of moronic laughter bursting inside my head.

_Come on, Dusty. You know that's how all hoods do it. Screw the sibling for the buddy, right? Or I guess fuck buddy in this case…_

_**Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! I thought you were gone?!**_

_Decided to come back. Hell's kind of backed up now, so I get to move in with you again._

"…Dusty? Dusty, are you even listening?" Tim's voice was raspy as he stared down at me, his eyes locked on mine as I entered back into the real world.

"What?" He pushed me down onto the bed, making me fall hard onto the metal springs. "Ow!" He shrugged and bounced up next to me.

"You should pay more attention." Once we were settled on the bed, Tim propped himself up on one elbow so he was looking down on me. "Were was I…oh yeah." He leaned so close in that our noses touched, making me shiver. "Marry me." I blinked at the hood for a second, then burst into a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, fucking Curly can be the bridesmaid! And, oh, get Dally's corpse for the best man, right?" I laughed for two whole minutes before figuring out that Tim wasn't laughing with me. "Hey, I know you're not suppose to laugh at your own jokes but…"

"It's not a joke."

"Huh?"

"Marry me." Oh God. Oh _fuck._

"_Why_?" Tim shrugged and started tracing his hands down my side, trying to distract and trick me into saying what he wanted me to say.

"I'm getting old, you know. I just think it's time to settle down." I elevated myself to Tim's height and stared hard.

"Tim, you're twenty one. That's not exactly over the hill there."

"Yeah, but twenty one is like thirty five in hoodlum years. I don't have as much time to live as most, Dusty. You know that." I shook my head and pressed my face into Tim's chest, a million thoughts rushing into my head at once.

"You don't want to settle down," My voice quavered as I stared up at Tim. "You are Tim Shepard, the biggest bad ass Tulsa's got. You'll be a laughing stock by getting hitched." He cocked his head and wetted his lips.

"Well maybe it's time for everybody to grow up." I sighed again and buried my head into Tim's chest, wanting to be close to him all while wanting to be on the other side of the world. To grow up would be to move on, to forget. And how could I forget about Johnny, one of me best buddies who was also my worst enemy? And how could I forget about the flinging love I had for Pony? And Dallas…I couldn't forget about him.

_I'm so unforgettable, huh?_

_**Shut up Dallas. **_

_I'll shut up when you let go. _

"Dusty?" I tore from one conversation and entered the next.

"Hm?"

"Are you going to answer me or just stay quiet for the rest of the night?"

"Oh, um…" Tim stared down at me as I racked my brain for the hundred dollar answer; the last three years playing in my brain as Dally's voice kept on pestering and probing. While I was still in thought, Tim pushed me away and stood again.

"Forget it, I never asked." I brought myself back to the situation and felt anger erupt in me at Tim's irritation.

"Well, it's not exactly something you can answer on the spot! I came here to make up and instead I get a 'Mary me?'. And I'm trying to figure out what you want, what I want, what the whole damn world wants, all while the clock is ticking and waiting for the hundred dollar answer!"

"Then ding-ding, time's up!" Tim growled, not exactly glowering, but he definitely wasn't smiling down at me. "What's your answer?" I swallowed, shut my eyes, and went with my second impulse.

"Yes! All right? Yes!" Tim's eyes got wide with shock as he plopped down next to me on the bed. We sat in silence for a while, but then Tim turned and looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"_Why_?" I shrugged and looked away from my…my…_fiancée_.

"I don't want to lose you." There was another silence, shorter, that was ended when Tim started kissing my lips and moved down my neck.

"I don't want to lose you, either." A burning sensation erupted behind my eyes as my chest swelled, making me bite my lip and trembled as I continued to kiss Tim. Suddenly, he pulled away. "Are you crying?"

"No!" I shot up and wiped my red eyes, glaring as an amused expression crossed his face. "You just got slobber in my eye."

_Damn Dusty, you've grown soft._

"Sure." Tim rolled his eyes and lay down next to me on the bed. "I don't suppose we could… you know?" I rolled away from Tim, mumbling about horny old men taking advantage of seventeen year olds. He only laughed and swung his arm around my front, drawing me closer. He turned off the lamp while running his hand down my thigh.

"I can't believe you want to do this. I mean, your _Tim Shepard_. You were never supposed to be tied down and old, you're supposed to die young and lonely." I felt him shrug in the dark.

"Maybe," He muttered, "I'm not the _Tim Shepard_ everyone reckons me to be."

"Yeah," I whispered as I drifted into sleep. "Maybe."


	21. Ponyboy Saves the Day

**I know it seems like I've disappeared from the face of the Earth, but I'm still here! My laptop wasn't charged and I was sick for about a week and a half, so this is the coming back present. I know it's not as good as it should be, but hey, give the cripple of two days some sympathy!**

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"Come on, Dusty."

"No."

"Aren't you at least a bit curious?'

"No!" I dodged down another aisle as Steve followed close behind, a _pregnancy test_ waving in his hand. "I told you, Steve! I'm safe."

"It could of broken, it could of slipped off…."

"For the love of God! I would know if any of that happened. Now will you stop chasing me around with that thing? It looks lethal."

"Aw, come on Dusty. What can it hurt to see?" I scowled and jumped to the next aisle.

"I mean it, Steve. Stay away!" The sound of the opening door made Steve put down the box. I sighed in relief and moved as far as I could from the older man.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be working the gas station, not playing in it?" Ponyboy raised an eyebrow as Steve snarled.

"None of your business, wise ass." I mouthed a "thank you" to Ponyboy. He winked.

"Well, it is my business considering I'm the one who's supposed to make sure you're not screwing off." Steve made another face at Ponyboy, but laid off when I came up behind and pushed him over.

"Came to see me, babe?" I mocked the seventeen year-old, grinning as he glowered at me. Before I would of glowered right back; but things changed. Ponyboy wasn't my boyfriend, and he wasn't my enemy; he was something that came in the middle. A friend. And I decided that I could dig that.

"Haha, very funny. You're supposed to be running this shit hole, too." Steve came up and smacked Pony outside the head.

"Hey, this shit hole is my future business, along with your brothers!"

"Not if you don't tear it up first!"

"Why do you guys fight like a bunch of broads?!" Steve wrinkled his nose as I stepped in between the two.

"How about you mind your own business?" Ponyboy sighed, and stepped back towards the door.

"Whatever. I have to get back to the house, Scout's coming over." I raised my eyebrows as he stumbled out the door, avoiding my gaze. I wondered what that was all about. When Ponyboy was finally out the door, I turned to Steve with a confused expression.

"What do you think of that?"

"Of what? Him being Mr. Bossy?" I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"No, of him avoiding me when he talked about Scout." Steve shrugged and moved back towards the aisle where he dropped the pregnancy test.

"I dunno, probably still scared you'll go nuts." I sighed. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how far I went to be nice, Ponyboy would always be skittish around me. But I guess that's what I could expect. I mean, I was a bitch to the guy for the majority of our acquaintanceship.

"Are you scared of me, Steve?" He laughed as he bent down to pick up the package.

"Hell, no. I know you too well."

"Well, Ponyboy knows me."

"Not like I do." This time I laughed.

"So you think you're closer to me than Ponyboy is?" Steve stayed quiet, stumped. Instead of answering me he held out the demonetic box with a dopey looking women holding a pee stick.

"Come on, Dusty." I shook my head viciously.

"I can't." His eyes became dark and angry, like a thunderstorm.

"Why the hell not?" How was I going to say it? How could I tell him? No, I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell anybody.

"Because….because…" I stammered as I tried to come up with a good lie. Nothing came to my head. "Oh, hell! Why do you give a damn anyway?!" Steve sprung forward, nearly shoving me against the shelves filled with small cracker packages and such.

"Why won't you just answer the question?! I know you're hiding something, Dusty. And I'm not letting you walk out of this store until I find out what!" He fought to catch his breath as I pressed away from his scowl. Steve is smarter than people reckon him to be. He's not all that book smart, but more like street smart. And right now those smarts were showing. There was no way out of his trap, no matter how hard I would try to convince him I didn't know anything. With a deep breath, I braced myself to say the truth.

"I don't want to take the test…" I began, "Because I don't want to fail again." Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"You took a test before?" I started to laughed with a note of hysteria, the truth that I had locked away for the past two years was making me crazy.

"No," I finally gained control over my voice, and stared at Steve with a sad smile. "I failed at motherhood." His jaw dropped, and stayed opened as I inched past his built body. He turned his body to follow me.

"W…what?"

"I was pregnant before, Steve. And I couldn't take care of them."

"Lordy, you had more than one?!" I would of laughed if I wasn't so depressed.

"Yeah, they were twins. One boy, Johnny, and one girl, Stacy." Slowly, Steve's mouth started to close. I could tell he wasn't completely over the shock, but he was getting there. I also could tell that as the truth sunk in, I was becoming more comfortable with it too. For the first time since it happened, I could talk about it without there being a rock in my stomach.

"I tried to keep them, for a little while, that didn't work out so well. Ducky, my cousin, and Ken, one of my room mates, didn't really like the idea. But Flick and Jeff loved them."

"Wait, who's Flick and Jeff?" I rolled my eyes and explained how Flick was my other cousin and how Jeff was the love sick boy that followed me around. The conversation was going so well, until Steve had to pop out the big question. "So, who was the father?" I shut my eyes as I said the name.

"Ponyboy, who else?" When I opened one eye, Steve was shaking his head in disbelief.

"He doesn't know, does he?" Before he could think twice I lunged for his shirt, and grabbed a fist full of the thin cotton.

"No, and he's not gonna find out!" Steve tried to pry my fingers off, but I held a firm grip.

"Well he has a right to! They're his kids!"

"Not anymore! I gave them away, and now they're part of some big happy family. They have nothing to do with Ponyboy, and they have nothing to do with me!" Steve stared at me for a few moments, then jerked my hand away.

"You're wrong, Dusty."

"I mean it, Steve. If you so much as mention what I told you…."

"I won't tell him." He mumbled. "I wouldn't do that to you." I gave Steve a weird look. Since when did he get all sentimental over me? Yeah, he had loosened up a bit since I've come back, but this was plain, flat out _weird._ "I'd never want to hurt you, Dusty. You know that, right?"

"What?" He grabbed my chin and held it firm, making sure I couldn't look away. Or move away, which was exactly what I wanted to do as his breath grew hotter and he leaned in closer. Just when I though for sure our lips would connect, the door swung open.

"Hey, I forgot to get a ginger ale for Soda!" Ponyboy hollered in, causing up to jump apart. Steve had an aggravated look in his face, but I stared at Ponyboy with nothing but relief. For the second time that day, I mouthed my thanks.


	22. A Shepard Party

**Okay, so I've been suffering from killer writer's block through the whole month of January. This is the product of writing a sentence or two a day, then becoming stuck with nothing. Yeah, it's short, and it may not be the best chapter, but I put all I had into it. Sorry for the crappyness. **

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"Hey, babe." I smiled as Tim's dried lips crashed against the back of my neck. I turned around and opened my mouth to reply, but the bastard took advantage of that and crushed his lips against mine.

"Get a room." Steve mumbled from behind the counter. "I got to close sometime soon, you know." Tim turned and glared at Steve.

"What's up your ass?" Steve looked like he was going to scowl back, but he stopped himself. Instead he didn't say anything. His eyes looked over at me, and I couldn't believe I saw betrayal. Finally Tim looked away, and pulled on my wrist as he started walking towards the door. "Come on, Dusty." He growled, throwing a threatening glance towards Steve.

"You go ahead, I have to tell Steve something." Tim narrowed his eyes, but pushed the door opened and stalked outside. As soon as my fiancée was out of ear shot, I whipped around and glared at Steve.

"What the hell was that, Steve?"

"What?" He did a good job of looking like he had no idea what I was talking about.

"You know what! You tried to kiss me before…and then when Tim came in you acted all defensive!" He looked down at me with a hard expression, but I set my hands on my hip and refused to move.

"What do you want from me? An apology?"

"No! I want…an answer."

"What's the question?" I inhaled quickly.

"Do you dig me?" Steve rolled his eyes.

"'Course I do. That's why I put up with you, ain't it?"

"No, like, do you want to fuck me?"

"Christ, Dusty!"

"Well, do you?" He stared at me with an open mouth, completely dazed.

"Uh….um…I don't have to answer that!"

"Then I'll just tell Tim." Steve lurched forward and grabbed my arm before I could move.

"Don't!" I waited as he breathed in and out, shaking his head. "This is so wrong." I didn't offer any words of encouragement. I only offered a threat to send a Shepard boy on his ass if he didn't fess up. 'Yeah. But I don't want to bad enough to brawl with Shepard."

"What a Romeo." I scoffed. Steve shrugged and turned to grab the store keys.

"Romeo was a whiny son of a bitch that couldn't make up his damn mind about chicks. I'm not some loser poet that's hot for one broad then wanting to dye for the next. That's insane."

"Didn't say you were." Steve sighed and shook his head.

"Come on, kid. Get out of here."

"You can't call me kid! You have the hots for me!" Tim whipped around in the parking lot at my voice, his eyes able to commit murder as they bore into Steve's skull. "Relax, Shepard. It was a joke." Tim loosened up, but I could tell by his rigid stance that he still didn't trust Steve. As quick as I could, I shoved Tim into the car before all hell broke lose.

"Stop trying to distract me, Dusty. If Randle did somethin'…" My lips shut Tim Shepard up good. He didn't make a sound until I pulled away and buried my nose into his neck. 'You're distracting me."

"No, I'm only makin' you calm down. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't beat up my friend."

"Looked like he wanted to be more." Tim growled.

"Well I don't." I shifted so that my nose touched his, but our lips were only a move's way from meeting. "You're the one that want, Tim Shepard. And don't doubt that."

"Yeah," He breathed. "I figured." With a swift jerk he pecked my lips, but turned back to the road. "Angela wants to throw some crazy party or some shit."

"What do 'ya mean?"

"I mean she wants to celebrate our engagement." Damn, that sounded to formal to come out of a hood's mouth. I swear, I was starting to lose my faith in Tim. He was lucky I loved him so damn much.

"Well I don't wanna. I won't go to any party planed by Angela. It's social suicide."

"Come on, Dusty. She's not all that bad."

"She hates me!"

"Has it ever crossed your mind that it's because you hate her?!"

"Tim, I've done nothin' to her, and all she's been is the biggest bitch." His shoulder started shaking, and for a moment I was scared he lost it. Then I realized he was laughing.

"Lordy, Dusty! Don't you remember at all the time you beat Angela senseless for stealin' Curtis? You're done plenty to her, so shut the hell up and deal with it. Angela's throwing us a party, whether you like it our not." I stayed quiet on the rest of the ride home, not having the evidence to go against Tim. When he finally parked the car on his street, I turned to get out of the car.

"Dusty, I didn't mean to be hard on 'ya."

"I know Tim." He smiled lazily and pulled on my arm, causing me to fall onto his chest. We had a nice make out session until we heard Curly's loud, obnoxious feet comin' up the sidewalk.

"Aw, fuck. Why does that kid have to ruin everything?"

"Quit your whinin'." I shoved the scowling hood away before the moronic one could catch a glimpse of us.

"Hey, Winston whore…I mean girl! Girl!" Curly shuddered as Tim snarled. "C'mon, Tim. It was a joke!" When his older brother didn't offer his forgiveness, the punk ran with his tail between his legs.

"Is Curly plannin' it too?" Tim shook his head and swung an arm over my shoulder.

"I don't think so. He'll make a few calls, but that'll be it."

"So when's Angela plannin' on doing this hoe down?"

"Tomorrow's sunset, then the next day's sunrise. It'll be an all nighter, baby."

"Yeah, we need to get good and wasted before we tell your gang you're settling down." Tim laughed and led me towards the steps, but I could tell his chuckle was fake. "You nervous?"

"Hell, no! Nothing makes me nervous." Manly pride. Damn it for getting all of them.


	23. The Stronger Winston

**Drum roll please…it's here! And man, was it hard. After a year and two months, this is the end of Dusty's story. I think I'm going to cry! Anyway, here's what's coming up soon. Me and Kimberley J. Hellewell (incorrect grammar, greaser style!) are working in a co-written story about Angela's daughter. We haven't produced a title yet, so just look out for the pen name RebelAngelsUKUS. You really need to check out her stories, they kick ass. Don't forget about Falling For Joni Matthews! I know I've neglected it, but it was all for Dusty! **

**I know I already did my special thanks in my anniversary note, but I still want to thank TheDarknessOfTheNight, Kimberley J. Hellewell, DallasWinston (call me babe, Tim doesn't have to know. lol), Pudden Pops, 03, and any body who has ever reviewed for Dusty. It would of not been possible without you!**

**So without further ado, I present the twenty third and final chapter of Dusty Winston's trilogy. **

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Angela decided to put the party at Buck's. Merrill didn't seem too happy about it, but one glare from Tim got him to shut up. It was about seven at night when we finally got to the joint. I was stretched out on the couch, doing my best impression of road kill while Tim argued with Buck about booze and Angela slapped Curly around.

"Make some phone calls, you damn idiot!" Angela delivered another slap, but Curly ducked just in the nick of time.

"Tim!" He hollered out while fending off his sister.

"Shut the hell up! Dusty!" I groaned and broke my vow of stillness.

"It's pretty fucking sad when some one your own age has to break you up!" I growled at the youngest Shepard siblings. "Now grow up." I turned to Tim, who shook his head with a smirk.

"Man, your such a mom." I flinched, but did my best to hide the slight pain the statement caused.

"Naw, I would suck as an authority figure." He laughed and swung an arm around my shoulders.

"I got 'ya something," He shuffled around in his pockets, causing me to frown. What he pulled out made me scowl more. A ring. A diamond ring.

"Aw, shit." I mumbled as Tim grabbed my hand and shoved the gold band on my left ring finger. Angela gasped and Curly squawked, clearly not expecting this. I guessed that Angel knew, since she was throwing the damn party. I was surprised Tim didn't tell Curly, though. I guess the two weren't as close as I thought they where.

"Now it's official, with proof. It didn't cost a thing either. My Ma gave it to me when I asked for it."

"You gave her Mom's ring?!" Now I knew why Angel was so surprised. "That ring was suppose to be mine!"

"Oh save it. You're already married, ain't 'ya?"

"But…." It was the first time I felt bad for the Shepard girl. I had stolen from her, many times over. I stole her brother, I stole her clothes, and now I was stealing her birth rite. No wonder she was so pissy around me.

"You're getting hitched to _her_?!" My attention snapped to Curly as he starred us down is disbelief.

"Yeah," Tim spoke in a firm voice, pulling at my waist so my hip bumped against his. "She's the best girl I've ever meet. And it's time I gave up on the gang. I mean, I'm twenty one for Christ's sake!"

"Tim Shepard. Settling down." Curly shook his head. "I can't believe it."

"Well get use to fantasizing. I'm going to go help Merrill with the kegs." I looked at the faces of Curly and Angela. Both looked murderous, and hangin' with my new siblings didn't seem like a good idea. I didn't ask Tim to stay, though. My pride wouldn't allow it. As soon as Tim shut the door, though, Angel lunged for me.

"You bitch! What the hell did you do to my brother?!" I cried out as she dug her nails into my skin. She was quicker than I remembered.

"Angela!" I was relieved when her weight came off of me, and practically leapt into the arms of my savior, thinking it was Tim. "Dusty, get off." I stumbled back as Curly's gruff voice hissed in me ear. Curly. Curly pulled Angela off of me. What the fuck?

"What…" Curly ignored me, but turned his attention to his sister. His hand was curled around her neck.

"You crazy bitch! You're glad I got to you before Tim did." I was only half listening to Curly, because I was so preoccupied with the sticky blood that was on my fingers. "I hate her as much as you do, Angel. But we can't do nothin' about it." Curly jerked his thumb in my direction. "We're stuck with her until Tim dies. Then we can murder her." I wiped the last of the blood away and stood, over the shock and ready to fight.

"To hell you will!" I screeched. "I don't care if you're related to Tim, you're still the most jack ass pair of bitches I've ever seen!"

"I got the beer!" Buck cried through the door cheerfully. Tim followed up behind, grunting as he swung the keg from side to side.

"Yeah, all ten gallons of it. Christ, is that blood?!" I smiled as Angela shifted from one foot to another. Tim finally sighed and rubbed his eyes. "You know what? Forget it. As long as no one is dead it's good." The Shepard kids sighed, relieved. No more blood would be taken tonight.

"So, when will the people show?" Tim frowned and looked up at the clock.

"Any minute now, I guess." I wondered if he was nervous. God knows I was. I mean, we were about to announce to the whole world that we…loved each other. That was a thought that only existed in Tim's room and car, every where else it seemed like a fantasy. Anyway, if he was nervous, he didn't show it. Tim looked cool and collected like he always did.

"Garcia's here. He brought a chick! A nice looking one too…" Angela mumbled something that sounded like "pervert" and opened the door.

"Ricky!" She squealed and threw her arms around the man's neck. "You never come by anymore. I miss you." The dark haired hood chuckled and patted Angela's head.

"Oh, Angel. You know Keith would kick my ass the whole way to Florida if he caught me sneaking around." Angela was having, or had an affair. It didn't surprise me one bit.

"Rick," the girl that was behind Ricky whined, her arms crossed over her obnoxious chest. "Introduce me! I want to meet this famous Tim Shepard." The alarms sounded in my head as Tim turned his head, obviously hearing the voice. I got to her before he did, determined to rip her vocal cords out so she could never, _ever _flirt with _my_ man.

"I'm Dusty Winston." I tried to manage a pleasant voice, but it only came out like a growl. Angela handed the two partiers beer, which they started gulping down immediately. "Tim's busy cleaning up. He's had a…exhausting past half hour. Oh wait, make that twenty minutes." Ricky spewed his beer out as the girl choked. I have her an exaggerated wink and turned around, satisfied my work was done.

"Man, Dusty. What did you do this time?" I ran into Tim's chest, and smiled up as he looked on to the path of destruction.

"Oh nothing. I just explained you had a very exhausting past thirty minutes, but then I changed it to twenty. I think they took it the wrong way."

"Of course they took it the wrong way!" Tim howled and threw his hands up in the air. But when he put his hands over his eyes, I realized he was trying to contain laughter. I smirked and pulled his hand away, standing on my toes so that I could kiss him. He started on another laughing streak and threw me over his shoulder, causing me to scream as he paraded around the place. I noticed that about five other people had shown up since Ricky and the girl.

"Hey, boys! Look what I found all lonesome on the street!" They all hooted and catcalled as Tim spun me around, causing me to scream some more.

"You son of a bitch, put me down!" After a few more turns he dumped me to the ground. I twisted around and made a move to playfully punch me in the gut, but of course he caught it.

"Ow, Dusty! Careful with the ring!" Tim dropped my fist and examined the damage the rock did to his palm.

"Shut up, you baby. It didn't get 'ya."

"The Curtis gang is here!" Angela shouted across the room as my old friends moved through the door. And a new one.

"Ponyboy!" I moved from Tim's side and to Pony's, scowling as Scout hid behind her boyfriend. "Are you tryin' to make her a greaser chick so soon?"

"No!" He said defensively. "She insisted on coming. Couldn't stop her there, now could I?"

"Whatever." I mumbled as Scout smiled weakly up at me.

"Hey, Dusty."

"You sure are stupid. Ain't you got more sense than to hang around with a bunch of hoods?"

"Obviously not." Steve mumbled. "They both have death wishes."

"Aw come on, Steve! Lighten up a little. They only got death wishes if they start a brawl, and they aren't the type of people who start brawls in a mass of hoodlums."

"Dusty! Come back over here! Bring those good-for-nothin' Curtises with 'ya too!"

"Hush up, Curly Shepard! I beat your ass in cards yesterday!" I stared at Ponyboy with raised eyebrows. I didn't know he played cards. But then I guess I never really knew a lot about him.

"Ain't got nothin' to do with it! Tim wants to say something so shut your damn mouth!"

"Lord," Scout muttered. "This really is a hood party."

"Damn straight, honey." Two-Bit slinked around and draped an arm over Scout's shoulder. "Tonight, we party like the hoodlums we truly are inside!"

"You're drunk already, Matthews?" Tim smirked as he came up from behind. "Isn't that a new record for you?" The rusty haired greaser laughed and scratched his head.

"Actually, I was drunk before I got here."

"So you're the new town drunk?" Two-Bit slapped a hand over his heart, as if he was appalled.

"I'm too young to be the town drunk!"

"Your twenty one. That's not too young."

"Shoot, your right! You grab a Jehovah's witness to straighten me out." With that said, Two-Bit stole a beer from a passing hood and gulped it down.

"Well while you get converted, I need Dusty for a tiny second." I caught a glimpse of Steve stiffening, but ignored it. Tim grabbed my wrist and lead me to the front of the joint.

"Hey, everybody! Tim's got somethin' to say!" It took a while, but people got quiet after that. Tim's hand was starting to get sweaty, and I knew he was nervous. His face was composed though, so no one else knew. I have his hand a squeeze and nodded. Might as well get it over with.

"I've been leader of the Shepard gang for how long now?"

"Your whole life!" A blond shouted from the crowd, making every one laugh.

"Yeah, yeah. I led us in diapers. But that's not my point." He let his eyes flicker to me, but quickly turned them back to the mass of people that could easily turn into a mob. "I'm stepping down, boys." There was a chorus of "What the hell?!" as the hoods shifted uneasily. "I'm stepping down because I'm getting married." I shut my eyes. I couldn't look at them or the daggers their eyes threw. When I finally decided to sneak a peak, the Shepard gang looked up at their formal leader with a sadness and confusion. The Curtis gang, well, they just looked at me like I had two heads. It was all quiet. Finally Sodapop started to laugh. I mean, not like a chuckle. He ruptured into a spasm as the full meaning of Tim's announcement sunk in.

"Holy shit, Dallas is rolling over in his grave!" Two-Bit started laughing too, releasing some of the tension that sparked in the room. Ponyboy smiled up at me, something that made me feel a little better. The Shepard gang still looked depressed, but I reasoned they would get over it.

I mean, no one can follow someone forever. I tried to follow Dally, but if I continued down his path I would be rotting right next to him. We got to make our own way. I wish I learned that long ago, when I was young and stupid. Part of me wished I hadn't spent all that time trying to be Dally, but the other was glad I did. Dallas taught me a lot. Dallas fucked me over a lot.

_Tryin' to blame your own problems on me?_

In the corner a familiar form shimmered.

_**I thought you were never coming back. It would be a favor if you stayed away. **_

_I don't give out favors._

"Of course you don't."

"Huh?" Tim looked down at me, confused. I shook my head when I realized I'd talked out loud.

"Nothin'." I looked back over to the corner, wanting and not wanting the shape to be there. It was.

_Ponyboy's the better man__**. **_

_**Not for me, Dal. **_

_You sure?_

_**Positive.**_

With that thought I turned and kissed Tim, out of impulse, and didn't let go until he kissed me back.

"Damn, woman. What's gotten into you?" I smiled and looked at the gang.

"Don't worry boys. I'll take care of ol' Tim here."

"Hey! I'm not that old!" The room ruptured with laughter as Tim chased me off the stage. I ran behind Sodapop, who only pushed me away to the lion.

"Oh hell no, you're not getting a Shepard pissed at me!" Tim's arms were around my waist within the next second. I tried to scramble away, but that didn't work. I should of known by then no one could get away from Tim Shepard.

"Take it back, you little punk."

"Let me go!" Tim chuckled and bit my ear. After I gave a loud yelp he let me go. "No that you bit my ear off, care to get me a beer?"

"'Course, babe." I scowled as the hood walked away, stopping every once in a while to talk to a friend.

"So you're really getting married?" I looked over at Ponyboy, who had somehow isolated himself from the rest of the gang. I blinked, then gave a slight nod.

"Yeah, yeah I am." When a silence followed, I started laugh as a realization came over me. "'Ya know, this could be us. If all that shit hadn't happened."

"But it did." Ponyboy said in a soft, but firm voice. "And there's nothing we can do to change it."

"I don't want to change it. I'm glad I ended up with Tim, no offense." Pony chuckled and shook his head so the red caught the low light.

"None taken. It would of never worked out between us."

"Damn straight. Plus you got Scout now, so no more mopping."

"When did you decide to get hitched?" Steve came up beside Ponyboy, his voice was hallow as he stared me down.

"A while back. We decided tonight was best…"

"Go away, Pony." Steve growled at the younger man, causing him to jump. His exit was pretty quick. "Do you have any idea what would of happened to me if I kissed Tim Shepard's fiancée?"

"Yeah, you wouldn't be standing in front of me. But that's your own problem, man. You knew what shit you were getting into by kissing a Shepard's girl. It's not like I led you on or anything either."

"So that kiss at the bar meant nothing?"

"Steve! That was about two months ago!" His body went rigid, and he dropped his eyes to the floor as quick as he could. "Steve, don't be pissed at me, or Tim. It's just that…"

"You love him, not me. I dig that. I honestly don't love you. I just have a little fling, 'ya know?" I nodded to signify I agreed. Steve sighed and shook his head. "It's just…hard to deal with. It's not unbearable, though."

"I'm sorry." Steve smiled and lightly punched my arm.

"Don't be. Go off and find Tim and that beer you ordered thirty minutes ago." I laughed and turned away from Steve, relieved that conversation was over. It could of been worse though, I told myself. Much, much worse. I reasoned that it went the best it could of gone by the time I got to the bar and sat down.

"Got the beer! The fucking line was long."

"Uh huh." I took the sloshing cup from Tim's hand and drained half of it in one sip.

"Hold your horses, girl! Save your stomach for later." I glared at him, but put the cup down.

"So how's the gang?" Tim frowned, and looked back out towards the floor.

"Not so hot. They're all wound up about me leaving. I should probably talk to them, but…"

"Oh, don't make me feel guilty. Get your ass out there and sort things out." Tim smiled and stood, leaving his beer on the counter.

"Thanks, Dusty. I owe you." I smiled and nodded, then reached for his beer as soon as he turned his back. I poured the liquid into my own glass, waiting until it was filled to the brim.

_Getting all drunk now?_

_**Shut up.**_

_You're gonna wind up like me with that attitude._

The sparkling figure from before was now hovering over a bar stool, a taunting silver smile planted on his face. I accepted the fact then and there that Dallas Winston would never leave me alone, and that I might as well get use to his showing u at the best and worse times.

"Nah," I whispered, narrowing my eyes. "I turned out to be different." Sharp laughter filled my head as the figure shook.

_Really? How's that?_

"I didn't run off and kill myself when you did. I didn't leave, unlike you." The figure stood frozen, and no voices echoed in my head. When I was sure that Dally had left, he started up again.

_You sure got a whole lot of nerve, bringing that up. You probably think you're all high and mighty for livin' through the hell you got from life. I'll tell you what, little sister. You know shit. _

I laughed. I laughed until I had to set my head on the counter top to make sure I didn't look crazy. When I was finally able to compose myself, I looked back at Dallas' sparkling form.

_**I know shit. Ha! You don't think I know what it's like to loose someone you love?**_

_I know you don't._

"I loved you, you peace of shit!" I hissed. "I loved you more than anything. And I lost you."

_Then you should of gone with me._

"No, Dal." I squared my shoulders and looked at Dallas straight in the eye. "One Winston had to stay behind. One Winston had to be the stronger."

_And so one Winston did. _

I nearly pissed myself as a new voice jumped into my head.

_Who would of thought? The shadow's the stronger?_

_**The Motorcycle Boy…..**_

_Nah, the shadow got killed by sunlight long ago. You're what came out of it._

He was gone as quick as he came, just like lightening. I didn't understand his crazy jumble, and I didn't try to. I just let the words set into my brain until I could pull them out when I understood them. Dallas stayed quiet; probably gone. Probably scared that I was the one to pull through for the world instead of him. But we all get scared of shit like that. Nobody wants to be the loser; the shadow. We all want to be front and center. But with the change of age, our places in life are altered to such extremes it's enough to make your head spin. That's what happened to me. I went from being the kid sister; the shadow; the weakling; to being the fiancée of the toughest hood in Tulsa and my own person. I'm glad I didn't turn out like Dallas.

_**I am not afraid to keep on livin'**_

_**I am not afraid to walk this world alone**_

_**Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven**_

_**Nothin' you can stay can stop me going home**_

_R.I.P._

_Dallas Winston_

_Johnny Cade_

_Mark Jennings_

_The Motorcycle Boy_


End file.
